Yes. Never had time to process it and still don't as busy managing other people's emotions. Exhausting x

I talked to my GP yesterday without explaining what has happened and he said I most definitely need to talk to someone. I agree. As the likelihood is that you can't talk openly to anyone close to you, a counsellor/therapist seems like the best place to start, I have found a couple of people who are experienced, offer online sessions and I believe would be confidential (although this is the thing i find hardest). I think all of us on this forum are probably traumatised and PTSD is likely to hit at some point. Sending you all the hope that you can get the support you need x

It's such a traumatic experience. We're nowhere near sentencing yet, but from the initial shock and ongoing uncertainty, to the loss of freedom and impact on day to day life, the bottom of your world as you know it falls out and it totally knocks your sense of security and safety. Everything I thought i knew about family life went out the door when it came to light. The world feels darker and scarier. It's really hard to process and am sure will affect us all for a very long time, possibly forever.

We are nearly 6 months post sentencing now but my physical health has taken a battering since court as I have very high blood pressure now. My GP suggests it's caused by being in a 'fight or flight' state for so long (nearly 3 years) and now although my brain knows the situation is resolved, my body hasn't caught up yet which is causing huge adrenaline surges randomly and pushing up my BP. She said it was a form of PTSD and is treating me for that as well as the BP worry. I would urge people to take the way you feel seriously, and especially after sentencing when you would think everything would be back to normal. Please don't think you should just snap out of it and go and ask for help xx

really interesting what you say about blood pressure, also coming up 6 months post sentence, always had low/low normal BP but recently had it checked and it's high. I've never had high BP. Makes complete sense now. I know there could be other physical factors but interesting to read your experience. Trauma definitely shouldn't be under-estimated. Considering therapy but feel like I don't want to relive anything. Take care everyone x

That's interesting, my BP has also started to go up, in the 'pre-high' range so no treatment yet but we're only 6 months on from arrest. My Dr was dismissive of stress being a factor, I didn't go into detail but did say going through something very difficult. Just monitoring for now but I'll try and see a different Dr next time!

Im 100% traumatised. The knock happened when I was at my lowest point mentally that ive ever been ever. I shut down, I stopped feeling emotions when i stopped crying. I didnt care what anyone thought or felt. I dont really remember a lot of it now. My brains made it very fuzzy. I remember pretty clearly right up until he came back and the rest is gone. I know I cried a lot and I was angry but thats it.

I know I need therapy. Which i will be doing later this year. But I dont think ill ever be able to leave this alone. I ruminate over tiny things that happened when I was 6 (which was a very, very, very long time ago). I dont have hope with letting this go right now.

Very interesting re. BP. I acknowledge I have risk factors but always had normal BP. A year after sentencing of my person I went to the GP form something unrelated and discovered my BP was through the roof and was having a hypotensive crisis. Now on two types of medication. Very curious if years of stress unspoken of outside the family (a lot given I have an Enhanced DBS for work) has triggered something.

I urge you all to look after yourself, I am years down the line and after my body being stuck in survival mode I now have an auto immune disease ! It's truly the gift that keeps on giving even when you end the relationship, divorce etc. x