Second post here, first intro
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Here is my post from another that was 'Life After Sentencing'. Someone kindly recommended I post here.
'This is my first post here. The sentencing is over, it just happened today. 5 years on the register, suspended sentence and a community harm order. I am reeling. This is my partner who I am planning to marry and have a family with. I am still unsure of what I want to do. I love them and can't imagine being without them. But am I prepared to handle all of this? I am scared of people knowing and I think I'll always be scared. I am scared of the possibility of them getting a job when they are already physically disabled too. We are only in our early 20s. I have no idea what the future could look like. What can life really be like after this? Does anyone know?'
It's now days after. None of this feels real. It's so strange because, in a way, it's all the exact same but so much is different. I'm so miserable and see no way forward for them. What future can you possibly build now?
'This is my first post here. The sentencing is over, it just happened today. 5 years on the register, suspended sentence and a community harm order. I am reeling. This is my partner who I am planning to marry and have a family with. I am still unsure of what I want to do. I love them and can't imagine being without them. But am I prepared to handle all of this? I am scared of people knowing and I think I'll always be scared. I am scared of the possibility of them getting a job when they are already physically disabled too. We are only in our early 20s. I have no idea what the future could look like. What can life really be like after this? Does anyone know?'
It's now days after. None of this feels real. It's so strange because, in a way, it's all the exact same but so much is different. I'm so miserable and see no way forward for them. What future can you possibly build now?
Hi there,
I am very sorry for what you are going through. Just wanted to chime in and say that I am in a similar boat and I understand how you feel. For context: Late twenties, was planning to get married and start a family etc. My OH still hasn't been sentenced though.
It's been about 5 months since the knock for us, and I have just recently decided to leave the relationship, even though I love my OH very much. I had the exact same fears as you, and ultimately for me, the cons outweighed the pros. What helped me come to this decision is that I started to really think about what MY future was going to look like if I were to continue being with him. And it wasn't a future that I wanted, considering how much I had to lose. Especially the fact that I just cannot have a family with my OH after what he did. In saying that, I know others have chosen to stay with their OH and have made it work. I found the threads of their experiences on this forum very helpful when I was making my decision.
My advice though is to think everything through before coming to a decision. I know that it's very hard to do when you're in alot of pain and the 'what if' thoughts are particularly loud right now. You will get through this. My dms are open if you need to rant or anything. Sending you healing and hugs.
I am very sorry for what you are going through. Just wanted to chime in and say that I am in a similar boat and I understand how you feel. For context: Late twenties, was planning to get married and start a family etc. My OH still hasn't been sentenced though.
It's been about 5 months since the knock for us, and I have just recently decided to leave the relationship, even though I love my OH very much. I had the exact same fears as you, and ultimately for me, the cons outweighed the pros. What helped me come to this decision is that I started to really think about what MY future was going to look like if I were to continue being with him. And it wasn't a future that I wanted, considering how much I had to lose. Especially the fact that I just cannot have a family with my OH after what he did. In saying that, I know others have chosen to stay with their OH and have made it work. I found the threads of their experiences on this forum very helpful when I was making my decision.
My advice though is to think everything through before coming to a decision. I know that it's very hard to do when you're in alot of pain and the 'what if' thoughts are particularly loud right now. You will get through this. My dms are open if you need to rant or anything. Sending you healing and hugs.
