Communications, not images
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Hi Everyone
I feel like everything I read relates to IIOC charges, whereas my OH was arrested on a communications charge. He ended up down that road in a similar vein to a lot of men who end up with images, poor mental health, addiction to porn led to chat rooms, where he became completely desensitised as to who he was talking to - he had no desire to talk to U18s he just stopped caring and in his head none of it was real. He obviously now realises just how wrong and harmful that was. There was no attempts at grooming and 0 intention to meet. He technically only "attempted" as the child was actually a police officer. All the other communications stuff I read has been vigilante stings/attempts to meet etc
I just wanted to hear what other people's experiences have been like with charges of this nature. What happened with sentencing? How long did device checks take and what did they find? Has life been able to move forward? Has your person been allowed home? How have social services been? Etc etc
6 months in and life just feels in limbo
I feel like everything I read relates to IIOC charges, whereas my OH was arrested on a communications charge. He ended up down that road in a similar vein to a lot of men who end up with images, poor mental health, addiction to porn led to chat rooms, where he became completely desensitised as to who he was talking to - he had no desire to talk to U18s he just stopped caring and in his head none of it was real. He obviously now realises just how wrong and harmful that was. There was no attempts at grooming and 0 intention to meet. He technically only "attempted" as the child was actually a police officer. All the other communications stuff I read has been vigilante stings/attempts to meet etc
I just wanted to hear what other people's experiences have been like with charges of this nature. What happened with sentencing? How long did device checks take and what did they find? Has life been able to move forward? Has your person been allowed home? How have social services been? Etc etc
6 months in and life just feels in limbo
Hi there
Sorry you find yourself here. My case is similar to you. Communication with no images involved. He was talking to an adult (decoy) and he knew he was talking to an adult. They were both talking about her fake children in a disgusting manner. His excuse was that he knew it was a fake profile and did it as a joke to wind them up. He reported the profile to the moderators of the website but it was too late, he was arrested. In total it took 10 months from arrest to appear in court which I know was extremely quick compared to other people. He was charged with Obscene Publications 1959, no SOR or SHPO restrictions were put on him. SS was the worst part of it all unfortunately. He was not allowed to live at the family home for 16 months whilst Daughter was put on a CPP. It was 16 months of hell.
Feel free to ask me anything x
Sorry you find yourself here. My case is similar to you. Communication with no images involved. He was talking to an adult (decoy) and he knew he was talking to an adult. They were both talking about her fake children in a disgusting manner. His excuse was that he knew it was a fake profile and did it as a joke to wind them up. He reported the profile to the moderators of the website but it was too late, he was arrested. In total it took 10 months from arrest to appear in court which I know was extremely quick compared to other people. He was charged with Obscene Publications 1959, no SOR or SHPO restrictions were put on him. SS was the worst part of it all unfortunately. He was not allowed to live at the family home for 16 months whilst Daughter was put on a CPP. It was 16 months of hell.
Feel free to ask me anything x
In a similar boat. Brother arrested for a single communication yet several devices taken for full examination and hes being treated as if hes been downloading dark web images. No search terms, no grooming, no meets, no decoys, no kiki or telegram. All hes looked at is teen girls on instagram and tiktok and made screenshots of teenagers nothing sexual and he says hes going to go mad if police try to bring charges over selfies he saw on LEGAL social media. The thought of it all is driving him and me mad.
My situation differs from yours in that my person is my son, and his communication was with a real person rather than a decoy.
When my son was arrested, the police took three devices: one was checked the same evening and handed straight back, the second was returned after a month or two and the third took several months to come back.
In my son’s case, most of the evidence used wasn’t from the devices at all. It came from what he told the police during his interview. He admitted what he had done and explained everything honestly, and that ultimately formed the bulk of the evidence in his case.
It took 22 months from arrest to sentencing, with the case going backwards and forwards between the CPS and the police several times. In a decoy case, this may not be such an issue, as the evidence is likely to be more straightforward and readily available. In my son’s case, some of the delay was because the police and CPS could not obtain and ultimately never did obtain a victim impact statement.
My son received a two-year suspended sentence, 300 hours of community payback, a fine, a requirement to complete the Horizon course, 10 years on the SOR, and a 10-year SHPO.
Social services placed the childen on child protection and only down graded the case when they were informed the marriage was definately over.
When my son was arrested, the police took three devices: one was checked the same evening and handed straight back, the second was returned after a month or two and the third took several months to come back.
In my son’s case, most of the evidence used wasn’t from the devices at all. It came from what he told the police during his interview. He admitted what he had done and explained everything honestly, and that ultimately formed the bulk of the evidence in his case.
It took 22 months from arrest to sentencing, with the case going backwards and forwards between the CPS and the police several times. In a decoy case, this may not be such an issue, as the evidence is likely to be more straightforward and readily available. In my son’s case, some of the delay was because the police and CPS could not obtain and ultimately never did obtain a victim impact statement.
My son received a two-year suspended sentence, 300 hours of community payback, a fine, a requirement to complete the Horizon course, 10 years on the SOR, and a 10-year SHPO.
Social services placed the childen on child protection and only down graded the case when they were informed the marriage was definately over.
Upset Mother
What was the social process like after sentencing?Our case is currently closed on a safety plan with my husband not allowed to sleep at home and I have to supervise him and my daughter all the time. They've said they won't review until after sentencing, which I find wild, considering they say it doesn't matter what the law says, they just look at risk, so why not assess risk now? Makes no sense
Need answers
From your response it sounds like your brother is a teenager himself? If so that would be INSANE to charge him on the social media screenshot
Ocean
Scary that social would only back off because they divorced- is he not allowed any contact with his child/ren? I have no intentions of divorcing my husband unless it comes out at court that he's lied to me any further - so that sounds terrifying
What was the social process like after sentencing?Our case is currently closed on a safety plan with my husband not allowed to sleep at home and I have to supervise him and my daughter all the time. They've said they won't review until after sentencing, which I find wild, considering they say it doesn't matter what the law says, they just look at risk, so why not assess risk now? Makes no sense
Need answers
From your response it sounds like your brother is a teenager himself? If so that would be INSANE to charge him on the social media screenshot
Ocean
Scary that social would only back off because they divorced- is he not allowed any contact with his child/ren? I have no intentions of divorcing my husband unless it comes out at court that he's lied to me any further - so that sounds terrifying
They did that with me- SS closed the case while he was awaiting charges. Bail conditions were in place which they see as a protective factor so tend to back off a little.
It was once he was charged all hell broke loose. They wait and see what conditions the criminal court impose ie SHPO and/or SOR because it helps them.
in my case there were none so they came down on us very hard. They see is as a risk factor that there are no legal conditions in place and could have unsupervised access with our daughter and anyone under 18.
Be prepared to be asked about your relationship all the time. They see it as a risk factor that you stay together and use it against you. Ie putting your OH before your children which doesn't make you protective (in their eyes).
I can't lie SS were horrific to deal with xx
It was once he was charged all hell broke loose. They wait and see what conditions the criminal court impose ie SHPO and/or SOR because it helps them.
in my case there were none so they came down on us very hard. They see is as a risk factor that there are no legal conditions in place and could have unsupervised access with our daughter and anyone under 18.
Be prepared to be asked about your relationship all the time. They see it as a risk factor that you stay together and use it against you. Ie putting your OH before your children which doesn't make you protective (in their eyes).
I can't lie SS were horrific to deal with xx
My son has a mixture of supervised and unsupervised contact with his children. They spend weekends and school holidays with him as well as one day in the week.
Hi, I'm in a similar boat, communication with a decoy and images (of himself) were sent. Very like your OH, he had no intention of messaging someone underage. Was on an over 18s site and messaging several people and just wasn't really reading the messages, so missed the age which was only stated once and subsequently deleted while the conversation was still ongoing.
We had media coverage on social media from charges, and we are now in limbo waiting on the legal aid strike ending in NI. Not even a chance to plea/defend yet which has been hard.
However, social services are moving for us outwith the courts/sentencing. We have had risk assessments (protective parent assessment for me) completed with recommendations for next steps made. They have already assessed me as protective, my OH as no risk to my daughter and he has an online course to complete before the same is true of my son, as he is closer in age to the decoy.
They have been very fair with us so far, which I know isn't true for everyone. We are hoping the completion of their assessment prior to court might actually be beneficial in the end as he'll have been professionally assessed to be (hopefully) deemed safe.
He was very honest with police from start, but has never admitted any intent, as it wasn't there. Social services work on risk - they will want to see that your OH is remorseful. Regardless of his intent, the person on the other end of the conversation could have been a real child. They will need to see him acknowledge that the potential to cause harm was there and how he will ensure it never happens again.
Please feel free to message me if you have any questions. We still have a way to go too
We had media coverage on social media from charges, and we are now in limbo waiting on the legal aid strike ending in NI. Not even a chance to plea/defend yet which has been hard.
However, social services are moving for us outwith the courts/sentencing. We have had risk assessments (protective parent assessment for me) completed with recommendations for next steps made. They have already assessed me as protective, my OH as no risk to my daughter and he has an online course to complete before the same is true of my son, as he is closer in age to the decoy.
They have been very fair with us so far, which I know isn't true for everyone. We are hoping the completion of their assessment prior to court might actually be beneficial in the end as he'll have been professionally assessed to be (hopefully) deemed safe.
He was very honest with police from start, but has never admitted any intent, as it wasn't there. Social services work on risk - they will want to see that your OH is remorseful. Regardless of his intent, the person on the other end of the conversation could have been a real child. They will need to see him acknowledge that the potential to cause harm was there and how he will ensure it never happens again.
Please feel free to message me if you have any questions. We still have a way to go too
