Can’t let love sway me
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I received the knock just over 6 weeks ago. Was for my husband of nearly 16 years. Shock, numbness, utter disbelief. Plus a few hundred more emotions followed the coming weeks.
This website and forum and chat help has been helpful with research and information and what's to come next.
I was told not to rush into decisions but feel all the facts and the uncertainty of the future has taken that choice from me. We have 4 young children together, two with extra needs. No matter what way I look at this, I can not support him through this process. The pain and confusion and also the security for me and my children will be too much. Plus the fact I'm solely responsible for them now and our home and everything I have to do everyday. The betrayal of this addiction I didn't know a thing about is just the hideous icing on the cake.
I've officially confirmed we are separated. im a carer and supporter of everyone and its my natural need to try and help him but this is one time in 15 years I can't. I have to say no and focus on me and the kids. I have literally had to put my feelings in another box.
admittedly the burden of not taking on his mental load any longer is a relief. Doesn't stop the guilt and heartache. Doesn't stop me being scared of what the new normal will be. I hope this is the right choice.
This website and forum and chat help has been helpful with research and information and what's to come next.
I was told not to rush into decisions but feel all the facts and the uncertainty of the future has taken that choice from me. We have 4 young children together, two with extra needs. No matter what way I look at this, I can not support him through this process. The pain and confusion and also the security for me and my children will be too much. Plus the fact I'm solely responsible for them now and our home and everything I have to do everyday. The betrayal of this addiction I didn't know a thing about is just the hideous icing on the cake.
I've officially confirmed we are separated. im a carer and supporter of everyone and its my natural need to try and help him but this is one time in 15 years I can't. I have to say no and focus on me and the kids. I have literally had to put my feelings in another box.
admittedly the burden of not taking on his mental load any longer is a relief. Doesn't stop the guilt and heartache. Doesn't stop me being scared of what the new normal will be. I hope this is the right choice.
Please don't feel guilty - you have done what you needed to, to protect yourself and your children.
And remember, it doesn't have to be a permenant decision. Perhaps if your husband can take responsibility for his actions, show remorse and engage with all the help available to him, you may feel differently, given time.
You still have a long road ahead and I'm sure there will be some tough times, but we are all here to lend an ear/advice/shoulder - what ever you need xx
And remember, it doesn't have to be a permenant decision. Perhaps if your husband can take responsibility for his actions, show remorse and engage with all the help available to him, you may feel differently, given time.
You still have a long road ahead and I'm sure there will be some tough times, but we are all here to lend an ear/advice/shoulder - what ever you need xx
