Really not sure what is happening
Notifications OFF
Knock came on Thursday saying a kick account on his email has been used on an account from our IP address where a woman has had conversation about having children and absence publications and IIOC. Devices and phone taken and told phone was sent off on Friday.
My husband, and i believe him, categorically knows nothing about it. He had to change all his passwords as he was told his Microsoft account had security alert on. I really believe it was a hack.......he has never even had a speeding ticket or any contact with police.
Husband bailed in Sussex no contact with children who are 15 and 17.
Told social services need to agree to contact, trying to chase them. My kids are suffering and I don't see how other people are with their kids who are younger and super used but he can't have any contact at all!
No restrictions on phone or Internet use but can't see his own children!
Feeling absolutely broken and exhausted
My husband, and i believe him, categorically knows nothing about it. He had to change all his passwords as he was told his Microsoft account had security alert on. I really believe it was a hack.......he has never even had a speeding ticket or any contact with police.
Husband bailed in Sussex no contact with children who are 15 and 17.
Told social services need to agree to contact, trying to chase them. My kids are suffering and I don't see how other people are with their kids who are younger and super used but he can't have any contact at all!
No restrictions on phone or Internet use but can't see his own children!
Feeling absolutely broken and exhausted
Hello, first off let me say how sorry I am that you've found yourself becoming a member of a club no one wants to be a part of.
I want to break this to you as gently as possible, I know you say you believe your husband, but if you've had a read through posts on the forum, a lot of men in these situations deny what they've done, and thanks to practicing for a long time, they are very convincing liars. That's not to say they are lying with the intent to hurt anyone, or trying to be manipulative (though some of course are), but I'd say for most of them it's pure shame. I had been with my husband 12 years, married 4 when the knock came, never been in trouble in his life and I never would have thought it either. If it's come from your IP address, it most likely is not a hack, I'm so sorry. With time and support, he may admit he has done it. But that doesn't necessarily mean he is a monster if he hasn't been telling the truth. I strongly recommend signing up for the inform course through stopitnow. It's free and very informative, and really helped me gain a better understanding of how my husband ended up down the path he did. It also helps understand what comes next in terms of legality, and offers incredible support from other people in this situation.
Social services isn't going to be a quick thing either unfortunately. Hopefully you will get a reasonable, helpful social worker, and if you do they will likely allow you to supervise contact, but they will most likely want to complete an assessment first, which can take up to 45 working days. It was 9 days after arrest when my husband was allowed contact with our 2 year old, supervised by me and his parents for 2 hours a day. This then increased to 4 hours, then time limits were removed, and I was able to be sole supervisor by around 5-6 weeks in. We are 6 months down the line and he still isn't able to have unsupervised contact, or sleep at our home, and likely won't be until after he is sentenced, but we are making it work, and our daughter is happy and thriving, so it isn't all doom and gloom. Your social worker won't want to hear you say you believe him, they won't hear it as reassurance. You don't have to demonise him or say you don't believe him either, what they want to hear is that you understand why they would presume a risk given the accusation, and that you will do what you need to, to keep the children safe. Family Rights group forum has a lot of helpful advice on things like this.
I do hope that he has been hacked, and nothing comes of this and you can all get past this awful business. But if not, support is out there, take help where you can and be kind to yourself, this journey won't be easy. Take care x
I want to break this to you as gently as possible, I know you say you believe your husband, but if you've had a read through posts on the forum, a lot of men in these situations deny what they've done, and thanks to practicing for a long time, they are very convincing liars. That's not to say they are lying with the intent to hurt anyone, or trying to be manipulative (though some of course are), but I'd say for most of them it's pure shame. I had been with my husband 12 years, married 4 when the knock came, never been in trouble in his life and I never would have thought it either. If it's come from your IP address, it most likely is not a hack, I'm so sorry. With time and support, he may admit he has done it. But that doesn't necessarily mean he is a monster if he hasn't been telling the truth. I strongly recommend signing up for the inform course through stopitnow. It's free and very informative, and really helped me gain a better understanding of how my husband ended up down the path he did. It also helps understand what comes next in terms of legality, and offers incredible support from other people in this situation.
Social services isn't going to be a quick thing either unfortunately. Hopefully you will get a reasonable, helpful social worker, and if you do they will likely allow you to supervise contact, but they will most likely want to complete an assessment first, which can take up to 45 working days. It was 9 days after arrest when my husband was allowed contact with our 2 year old, supervised by me and his parents for 2 hours a day. This then increased to 4 hours, then time limits were removed, and I was able to be sole supervisor by around 5-6 weeks in. We are 6 months down the line and he still isn't able to have unsupervised contact, or sleep at our home, and likely won't be until after he is sentenced, but we are making it work, and our daughter is happy and thriving, so it isn't all doom and gloom. Your social worker won't want to hear you say you believe him, they won't hear it as reassurance. You don't have to demonise him or say you don't believe him either, what they want to hear is that you understand why they would presume a risk given the accusation, and that you will do what you need to, to keep the children safe. Family Rights group forum has a lot of helpful advice on things like this.
I do hope that he has been hacked, and nothing comes of this and you can all get past this awful business. But if not, support is out there, take help where you can and be kind to yourself, this journey won't be easy. Take care x
Day 5 today and including bank holiday weekend, social worker coming tomorrow to speak with 17 year old and Thursday to speak with 15 year old (as she is performing in a show tomorrow). Anxious but feel things areoving at least.
Spoke to police today and they said they could not see it being difficult with SS around the bail conditions due to children's ages.
Solicitor has said phones get hacked and IP addresses can be cloned so just holding onto hope!
Spoke to police today and they said they could not see it being difficult with SS around the bail conditions due to children's ages.
Solicitor has said phones get hacked and IP addresses can be cloned so just holding onto hope!
