Hello, first off let me say how sorry I am that you've found yourself becoming a member of a club no one wants to be a part of.

I want to break this to you as gently as possible, I know you say you believe your husband, but if you've had a read through posts on the forum, a lot of men in these situations deny what they've done, and thanks to practicing for a long time, they are very convincing liars. That's not to say they are lying with the intent to hurt anyone, or trying to be manipulative (though some of course are), but I'd say for most of them it's pure shame. I had been with my husband 12 years, married 4 when the knock came, never been in trouble in his life and I never would have thought it either. If it's come from your IP address, it most likely is not a hack, I'm so sorry. With time and support, he may admit he has done it. But that doesn't necessarily mean he is a monster if he hasn't been telling the truth. I strongly recommend signing up for the inform course through stopitnow. It's free and very informative, and really helped me gain a better understanding of how my husband ended up down the path he did. It also helps understand what comes next in terms of legality, and offers incredible support from other people in this situation.

Social services isn't going to be a quick thing either unfortunately. Hopefully you will get a reasonable, helpful social worker, and if you do they will likely allow you to supervise contact, but they will most likely want to complete an assessment first, which can take up to 45 working days. It was 9 days after arrest when my husband was allowed contact with our 2 year old, supervised by me and his parents for 2 hours a day. This then increased to 4 hours, then time limits were removed, and I was able to be sole supervisor by around 5-6 weeks in. We are 6 months down the line and he still isn't able to have unsupervised contact, or sleep at our home, and likely won't be until after he is sentenced, but we are making it work, and our daughter is happy and thriving, so it isn't all doom and gloom. Your social worker won't want to hear you say you believe him, they won't hear it as reassurance. You don't have to demonise him or say you don't believe him either, what they want to hear is that you understand why they would presume a risk given the accusation, and that you will do what you need to, to keep the children safe. Family Rights group forum has a lot of helpful advice on things like this.

I do hope that he has been hacked, and nothing comes of this and you can all get past this awful business. But if not, support is out there, take help where you can and be kind to yourself, this journey won't be easy. Take care x

Needsomehope has given you really good advice and I agree on being very cautious. Unfortunately it will be a very long time before you receive objective answers (yhe forensics report).

Sorry, Anxiously waiting, SS may hold things up. If the bail conditions do not prevent contact they will have to go with that though, unless and until sentencing and shpo might change the conditions. If he is prevented from seeing the children due to bail, and then bail is lifted at sentencing, SS can still lay down (their) the law and say contact is not to happen. It's a long road, this :(.

Call the helpline to talk it through?

Yes, at 18 your son is no longer a child, and SS child protection will have no say in his relationship with his dad. A shame your younger one isn't older too, but at 15 she can probably express herself well, and her views have to be taken seriously

I'm sorry it's so tough :( . We all went a little bit mad in the early days, it is so traumatising in so many ways.



Your 15 year old is doing well, speaking up for herself, and being heard.



Unfortunately SS is tangled up in yards of red tape which can engender much frustration and despair at our end as we try to unravel it, often getting no response, or conflicting messages, but they do things to their timescale and in the meantime the children often suffer. SW can't make instant or unilateral decisions, it seems, and much has to go through their manager, and looked into thoroughly... which adds to the time lag.



Have they said when the assessment must be completed by?

Sorry you are struggling so much. Have you called the helpline? They can answer questions for you and maybe put your mind at rest a bit.... knowledge is power. In the early days I felt better once I had a clearer understanding of the situation and processes. I think they close at 5 on a Friday, so you could still get through to them now if you wanted. The number is 0808 1000 900

Hi Anxiously Waiting,

I am so sorry you are here and I can really feel your distress. Just wanted to say that the helpline tends to be quieter early morning...I think it opens at 8? Or 8:30? I hope you can get through to them soon.

It can take quite awhile to get through, mornings are quieter usually. Hang in there, it will be worth the wait.

I'm so sorry to hear your story and my heart breaks for you .

Our knock came March 2025 my ex is allowed contact supervised with our 6 year old , how eve he now lives over 2 hours away and no one else will be the supervision as everyone has disowned him .



I've been a single parent now working full time for 16 months and I'm burnt out . Social services will be coming back into our lives again soon as we have a please hearing in 17 June and the bail conditions will be lifting and replaced with shpo restrictions but no sign of social services allowing unsupervised access anytime soon .

I was married to my husband for 12 years and knew him 21 years and I didn't even know he had a porn addiction. He was always mr nice guy the life and sole of a party and never even had a speeding ticket or parking fine .



I really hope you have a strong network around you and would not recommend telling too many people



I told my inner most circle including best friend of 34 years and 7 people have nothing to do with me anymore including so called family.



good luck with your journey and I recommend the inform course via Lucy faithful . It really helped me .

I'm so sorry to hear your story and my heart breaks for you .

Our knock came March 2025 my ex is allowed contact supervised with our 6 year old , how eve he now lives over 2 hours away and no one else will be the supervision as everyone has disowned him .



I've been a single parent now working full time for 16 months and I'm burnt out . Social services will be coming back into our lives again soon as we have a please hearing in 17 June and the bail conditions will be lifting and replaced with shpo restrictions but no sign of social services allowing unsupervised access anytime soon .

I was married to my husband for 12 years and knew him 21 years and I didn't even know he had a porn addiction. He was always mr nice guy the life and sole of a party and never even had a speeding ticket or parking fine .



I really hope you have a strong network around you and would not recommend telling too many people



I told my inner most circle including best friend of 34 years and 7 people have nothing to do with me anymore including so called family.



good luck with your journey and I recommend the inform course via Lucy faithful . It really helped me .

Hi! I'm so sorry you're going through this. We had a similar story. Images downloaded from kik that was apprently a hack. I believed that lie for months until I opened up some post from his solicitors and I just burst into tears. He knew about the pictures and whilst he deleted them straight away he obvs didn't tell anyone and here we are. Being lied to hurts so much. I just wanted to tell you this to be prepared that it might not be a hack. X



I hope you're all doing okay.