My heads a mess.
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Hate that I've found myself on here. I've read through quite a few of your stories and just wanted to share my own. My partner was arrested September 2025 for distribution which he admitted in the interview. (He was trying to catch people to report them but never emrecueved any information to pass on) Phone was sent off for forensics and that come back in January. He was called in for a second interview and told they found 46 images, 12 CAT A in the system files. I was told half an hour later by the OIC that it was gallery. So thats very confusing.
Case was recieved by cps on may 27th and the OIC said they have 28 days to issue charges or ask for more evidence. My partner maintains that he never downloaded these images and never viewed them. It was on KIK and after reading up on things KIK apparently stores images in the cache so they load quicker?
I dont know what to believe, what to do or anything. Also like to add i am 11 weeks pregnant so it's a very stressful time for us right now. How many peoples person maintained their innocence and were 'innocent' and how many maintained innocence and were ultimately lying? I know people lie in these situations through fear, shame and many other reasons.
Any responses would be more than welcome. I'm in such a pickle my mind is racing my blood pressure is crazy, midwife has referred me for therapy as I scored severe in both depression and anxiety tests with her. She's very concerned. I'm trying my best to look after myself for my children (5,12,15,16) but this is all affecting me so bad i barely sleep. I barely eat. I dont enjoy life anymore.
I want the best for my children obviously. My 5 year old absolutely adores her daddy and this has been so hard on her. The OIC is very supportive and has kept in contact the whole way, he confirmed just the other day he still has no problem with my partner living at the home address but social are totally against this. So we're stuck on what's what. We assumed that if the forensic report showed him actively seeking out this content, purposely downloading it and showed an interest in children then the OIC stance would change? Again not sure how that works.
Case was recieved by cps on may 27th and the OIC said they have 28 days to issue charges or ask for more evidence. My partner maintains that he never downloaded these images and never viewed them. It was on KIK and after reading up on things KIK apparently stores images in the cache so they load quicker?
I dont know what to believe, what to do or anything. Also like to add i am 11 weeks pregnant so it's a very stressful time for us right now. How many peoples person maintained their innocence and were 'innocent' and how many maintained innocence and were ultimately lying? I know people lie in these situations through fear, shame and many other reasons.
Any responses would be more than welcome. I'm in such a pickle my mind is racing my blood pressure is crazy, midwife has referred me for therapy as I scored severe in both depression and anxiety tests with her. She's very concerned. I'm trying my best to look after myself for my children (5,12,15,16) but this is all affecting me so bad i barely sleep. I barely eat. I dont enjoy life anymore.
I want the best for my children obviously. My 5 year old absolutely adores her daddy and this has been so hard on her. The OIC is very supportive and has kept in contact the whole way, he confirmed just the other day he still has no problem with my partner living at the home address but social are totally against this. So we're stuck on what's what. We assumed that if the forensic report showed him actively seeking out this content, purposely downloading it and showed an interest in children then the OIC stance would change? Again not sure how that works.
My now Ex was only arrested Sept 25, we have been told it could be 18 months plus - possibly 3 years. He's been accused of talking to a decoy from a PHG who he thought to be 14 years old. He doesn't tell me much just that he can't remember what was said... there are photos of him in the evidence pack so some of it must be true but I get nothing out of him. He is step dad to my daughter, and has been her whole life so it hurts me that he has potentially or already ruined not my life but hers. SS have been horrific, but that's another story . We have been allocated a new one who is more understanding so fingers crossed things start to move forward on getting rid of them.
Are you children on a CPP?
Hope you are the best you can be, it can't be easy being pregnant that must be an added stress / worry in itself
Are you children on a CPP?
Hope you are the best you can be, it can't be easy being pregnant that must be an added stress / worry in itself
Dear Stessed Mamma,
I can't imagine how hard this must be for you having to look after your children, being pregnant and now this stress on top and I wish I had a magic wand to wave to help. I don't have that but what I send is hope. I am out the other side, it took 14 long months and I struggled with should I stay or leave, should I tell others or not. I chose to stay and keep it to myself (how I have no idea!) but my OH was open and honest the whole time and we got devices and our lives back a couple of weeks ago, it still doesn't feel quite real. This group was my glue throughout and I remember scouring it for hope and so want to try and return that for others.
Aending love and strength.
I can't imagine how hard this must be for you having to look after your children, being pregnant and now this stress on top and I wish I had a magic wand to wave to help. I don't have that but what I send is hope. I am out the other side, it took 14 long months and I struggled with should I stay or leave, should I tell others or not. I chose to stay and keep it to myself (how I have no idea!) but my OH was open and honest the whole time and we got devices and our lives back a couple of weeks ago, it still doesn't feel quite real. This group was my glue throughout and I remember scouring it for hope and so want to try and return that for others.
Aending love and strength.
Sorry if I'm misreading this, but your partner has admitted to sending other people IIOC (distribution). So he also received IIOC from somewhere? So has been in contact with multiple people with an interest in IIOC? I would personally be highly sceptical TBH. I'm sorry. There's nothing good to say about this. For his excuse to be 'true', he would have to have the poorest judgement of any person who has ever lived, which is also...not what you want in the father if your children! And he has admitted to kik, which is a cesspit. No one is there for a 'good' reason.
I've been there. My ex has just pleaded not guilty with a story about how he acquired the (admittedly 'small' and deleted) number of images he had. His story is marginally more plausible, but do I believe him? No idea. But do I want to be married to someone a) that idiotic b) on kik - its a horrible place c) going to drag me & my children through all sorts by association...SS, possible media. The answer is honestly no. Its incredibly painful and you want so much for not to be true. I've been there. I really have.
IME separation has been great for my emotional and mental health. The kids still see their father regularly (I supervise) and are thriving three years down the line (its been that long!!!). The hardest part is financial, but its been ok in our case.
Ps re CPS I'd ignore the 28 days. Its more like to take several months in reality as it bounces back & forth.
I've been there. My ex has just pleaded not guilty with a story about how he acquired the (admittedly 'small' and deleted) number of images he had. His story is marginally more plausible, but do I believe him? No idea. But do I want to be married to someone a) that idiotic b) on kik - its a horrible place c) going to drag me & my children through all sorts by association...SS, possible media. The answer is honestly no. Its incredibly painful and you want so much for not to be true. I've been there. I really have.
IME separation has been great for my emotional and mental health. The kids still see their father regularly (I supervise) and are thriving three years down the line (its been that long!!!). The hardest part is financial, but its been ok in our case.
Ps re CPS I'd ignore the 28 days. Its more like to take several months in reality as it bounces back & forth.
I'm sorry to hear what you're going through.
i went through all this when I was seven months' pregnant also looking after a three year old, and the uncertainty and betrayal and fear is so much, especially whilst trying to look after children and your own body struggling.
Having spent many many hours on this forum I would say there are some stories that always start to sound iffy now (why would he be trying to 'catch out' people, why is that what he was doing with his time?) and ultimately his actions have put you and your family at risk, and will potentially mean you have social services in your life for a very long time.
i went back and forth on supporting my ex, and whilst I do believe that he's just an insecure idiot, it was symptomatic of a lot of other elements of his personality (avoidance of responsibility, taking care of his own mental health, being honest about anything) and his behaviours after the fact made me realise I couldn't stay.
my divorce came through this week and the happiness I feel is overwhelming. We are still waiting for second interview which has been delayed twice already. Thankfully social services stepped back and have let me lead the way, but I dread them returning after sentencing. I resent that my son starting school will be marred by his teachers knowing this thing about his father, that I'll be more scared to be as involved there as I wanted to be incase it all comes out. I'm waiting for the vigilantes to spread it all around again once sentencing happens, and for local newspapers to jump on it because his name will be recognisable from all the promotion I did for his business.
he destroyed our lives and whilst I have worked hard to rebuild them, and whilst my son adores his father, these choices irrevocably impact YOUR life. And your health and well-being!
I hope you get the answers you want and the support you need, it can be a very lonely place but this forum is so helpful in knowing we're not alone.
i went through all this when I was seven months' pregnant also looking after a three year old, and the uncertainty and betrayal and fear is so much, especially whilst trying to look after children and your own body struggling.
Having spent many many hours on this forum I would say there are some stories that always start to sound iffy now (why would he be trying to 'catch out' people, why is that what he was doing with his time?) and ultimately his actions have put you and your family at risk, and will potentially mean you have social services in your life for a very long time.
i went back and forth on supporting my ex, and whilst I do believe that he's just an insecure idiot, it was symptomatic of a lot of other elements of his personality (avoidance of responsibility, taking care of his own mental health, being honest about anything) and his behaviours after the fact made me realise I couldn't stay.
my divorce came through this week and the happiness I feel is overwhelming. We are still waiting for second interview which has been delayed twice already. Thankfully social services stepped back and have let me lead the way, but I dread them returning after sentencing. I resent that my son starting school will be marred by his teachers knowing this thing about his father, that I'll be more scared to be as involved there as I wanted to be incase it all comes out. I'm waiting for the vigilantes to spread it all around again once sentencing happens, and for local newspapers to jump on it because his name will be recognisable from all the promotion I did for his business.
he destroyed our lives and whilst I have worked hard to rebuild them, and whilst my son adores his father, these choices irrevocably impact YOUR life. And your health and well-being!
I hope you get the answers you want and the support you need, it can be a very lonely place but this forum is so helpful in knowing we're not alone.
