I'm really sorry you have had to go through this. It literally like walking in quick sand and dealing with one day at a time. I can understand your feeling of hurt and betrayal when he has been adamant that he is not guilty which in turn would have made you question everything, yourself, the police and ss in case this was all a huge mistake. Try to now think of moving forward a little now he has said he is guilty. I appreciate that in itself will bring forward a whole lot of new emotions so please make use of any support you have. The lff helpline, this forum and if need be speak to your doctor. You are stronger than you think and I bet you are doing amazing given the circumstances! The same as the rest of us on this forum...When our world was completely turned upside down in a matter of minutes xxx take care xx

Big hugs. It's terrible to think not only was this person committing offenses but dragging you into it by including you/ imitating you. My person did similar and it destroyed my sense of self, especially around consent and trust. I felt shamed even though I did nothing to anyone nor was I aware what he was doing until the knock. I hope you can see it differently, and without such shame, because the only person responsible is the person who committed the act. I'm sorry they weren't honest with you from the start, the betrayal is immense but at least you are aware of the case and charge so you can move on more informed, sooner rather than any later than that. Be kind to yourself and take each day you get through as a win, even if it's not what you'd want it to be, because it is. Surviving this kind of betrayal is tough as there's no way to rationalise or reconcile it as a Normal person. I almost wish my person had just had a one night stand or had an affair - there's a million self help books and sociatial norms for that scenario over this. And no children affected directly. Anyway, just know you aren't alone and we can all send healing vibes/ prayers to eachother from afar. Hugs x