Character reference
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I'm down to the wire in writing a character reference. I've read advice on here, on unlock, I'm not a fan of AI.
It's just hard being succinct and clear in what I want to say without waffling and trying to be earnest in making it clear I'm not condoning the behaviour whilst expressing the progress he's made as a person.
I have a feeling I'll be panic writing it last minute.
It's just hard being succinct and clear in what I want to say without waffling and trying to be earnest in making it clear I'm not condoning the behaviour whilst expressing the progress he's made as a person.
I have a feeling I'll be panic writing it last minute.
Hello Lostandalone,
I wrote mine last week. I used a fairly simple template which worked for me (ignore some of the text - I mainly just used the 4 sections and took it from there):
[Your Name]
[Your Address]
[Your Contact Details]
[Date]
Your Honour [or "The Magistrates of the Court"],
1. Introduction and relationship
I am writing this character reference in support of [Husband's Full Name], who I understand is appearing before the court in connection with [briefly state the offence, e.g., an allegation of sending obscene communications]. I am his wife, [Your Name], and we have been married for [Number] years. Having lived together for [Number] years, I am exceptionally well-placed to comment on his day-to-day behaviour, character, and conduct.
2. Awareness of the proceedings
I have been made fully aware of the allegations [Husband's Full Name] is facing . I have discussed the matter with him, and I understand the nature of the charges and the findings of the court. Despite being aware of these circumstances, I am providing this reference of my own free will because I want to give the court a complete picture of his true character.
3. Character and attributes
Throughout our marriage, I have always known [Husband's First Name] to be an honest, caring, and supportive [husband/father/member of the community]. He is a hardworking and fundamentally decent person who has always treated me and others with deep respect. [Include 1 or 2 concrete examples of his positive qualities, e.g., his dedication to his job, how he supports the family, or his calm temperament in times of stress]. [Optional: Briefly explain that his recent actions are out of character for the man you know, and note if he has sought professional help or shown genuine remorse].
4. Concluding remarks
I view this situation as an isolated and deeply regrettable incident. [Husband's First Name] is highly remorseful for his actions and understands the gravity of the situation. I respectfully ask the court to take his previously good character, his positive lifestyle, and the remorse he has shown into account during sentencing.
Yours faithfully,
(Your Signature)
[Your Printed Name]
I know you said you're not a fan if AI but I think it can help when used in a certain way.
I wrote out exactly what I wanted to say without worrying too much about getting the words exactly right for each section.
I then put small chunks (even just small sections you are struggling with) into AI (I used CoPilot) and was very specific with my request, e.g. tell it you are writing a character reference for a court appearance (even what the charges are). Tell it you want to sound professional and appropriate for this context, while remaining authentic and human. I mentioned not using complex punctuation (like em rules - which most people don't use and is a real giveaway for AI). I also mentioned that I wanted the tone to be right - showing support for my person but in no way condoning or minimising what they have done.
If you keep chipping away with very specific instructions, it still very much sounds like it has come from you, just more finessed. You can keep working at it until it feels right without just doing a blanket "write this for me", if that makes sense?
Honestly, if you paste in what you have written and just write exactly what you have said here, you might be nicely surprised what you get back:
Being succinct and clear in what I want to say without waffling and trying to be earnest in making it clear I'm not condoning the behaviour whilst expressing the progress he's made as a person.
I hope this helps in some way. Good luck - it is a lot to deal with.
We had the knock in March 25, and sentencing is next week - I am dreading it, but also looking forward to being able to start putting this behind us. If you ever can...
I wrote mine last week. I used a fairly simple template which worked for me (ignore some of the text - I mainly just used the 4 sections and took it from there):
[Your Name]
[Your Address]
[Your Contact Details]
[Date]
Your Honour [or "The Magistrates of the Court"],
1. Introduction and relationship
I am writing this character reference in support of [Husband's Full Name], who I understand is appearing before the court in connection with [briefly state the offence, e.g., an allegation of sending obscene communications]. I am his wife, [Your Name], and we have been married for [Number] years. Having lived together for [Number] years, I am exceptionally well-placed to comment on his day-to-day behaviour, character, and conduct.
2. Awareness of the proceedings
I have been made fully aware of the allegations [Husband's Full Name] is facing . I have discussed the matter with him, and I understand the nature of the charges and the findings of the court. Despite being aware of these circumstances, I am providing this reference of my own free will because I want to give the court a complete picture of his true character.
3. Character and attributes
Throughout our marriage, I have always known [Husband's First Name] to be an honest, caring, and supportive [husband/father/member of the community]. He is a hardworking and fundamentally decent person who has always treated me and others with deep respect. [Include 1 or 2 concrete examples of his positive qualities, e.g., his dedication to his job, how he supports the family, or his calm temperament in times of stress]. [Optional: Briefly explain that his recent actions are out of character for the man you know, and note if he has sought professional help or shown genuine remorse].
4. Concluding remarks
I view this situation as an isolated and deeply regrettable incident. [Husband's First Name] is highly remorseful for his actions and understands the gravity of the situation. I respectfully ask the court to take his previously good character, his positive lifestyle, and the remorse he has shown into account during sentencing.
Yours faithfully,
(Your Signature)
[Your Printed Name]
I know you said you're not a fan if AI but I think it can help when used in a certain way.
I wrote out exactly what I wanted to say without worrying too much about getting the words exactly right for each section.
I then put small chunks (even just small sections you are struggling with) into AI (I used CoPilot) and was very specific with my request, e.g. tell it you are writing a character reference for a court appearance (even what the charges are). Tell it you want to sound professional and appropriate for this context, while remaining authentic and human. I mentioned not using complex punctuation (like em rules - which most people don't use and is a real giveaway for AI). I also mentioned that I wanted the tone to be right - showing support for my person but in no way condoning or minimising what they have done.
If you keep chipping away with very specific instructions, it still very much sounds like it has come from you, just more finessed. You can keep working at it until it feels right without just doing a blanket "write this for me", if that makes sense?
Honestly, if you paste in what you have written and just write exactly what you have said here, you might be nicely surprised what you get back:
Being succinct and clear in what I want to say without waffling and trying to be earnest in making it clear I'm not condoning the behaviour whilst expressing the progress he's made as a person.
I hope this helps in some way. Good luck - it is a lot to deal with.
We had the knock in March 25, and sentencing is next week - I am dreading it, but also looking forward to being able to start putting this behind us. If you ever can...
Thank you! That was a help. I ended up sitting down after working and just cracking on with it. I ran it through chat gpt after all and merged the two together. Did you add your address etc at the top?
sentencing next week too. Just nervous and tired and ready for it to be done with. Media is the next big worry. Good luck!
sentencing next week too. Just nervous and tired and ready for it to be done with. Media is the next big worry. Good luck!
I included my name and address at the top like it was a formal letter but I don't suppose that matters too much.
Praying there will be no media. I have forgotten what it feels like not to feel worried all the time.
Hope everything goes as well as it can do for you next week!
Praying there will be no media. I have forgotten what it feels like not to feel worried all the time.
Hope everything goes as well as it can do for you next week!
Unbelievably helpful. Thank you SO much. I'll buy a printer and write a reference so it's ready to go (the knock was Sept 2025 so it'll probably be awhile).
