Neurodiversity
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Hi,
So my 19 year old son has recently had his phones and laptop seized (voluntarily) by the police due to a report that came from Snapchat on his communications with an underage girl. Unfortunately, he has done this many times before. We are waiting to hear what they find on his devices and whether they want to pursue this further. He was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago by CAHMS and at the same time the clinician said he most likely has autism as well but it wasn't necessary to carry out an assessment. I have been in touch with a solicitor who offers a service where an independent Psychologist can interview my son, diagnose and then write a report which is tailored to highlight the reasons why this may have caused my son to do what he has done, which could then be used in court should we need it. I do believe his neurodiversity has a lot to do with why he is doing this. This type of assessment is not cheap, around £2k but this is the same price as a standard private assessment. To go through the NHS is many years of a wait and through the right to choose pathway is 18 months. Time we don't have. I just wondered if anyone has experience of doing this particular method and whether there is any advice you can offer me from your experience?
Thank you in advance for any advice you can give x
So my 19 year old son has recently had his phones and laptop seized (voluntarily) by the police due to a report that came from Snapchat on his communications with an underage girl. Unfortunately, he has done this many times before. We are waiting to hear what they find on his devices and whether they want to pursue this further. He was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago by CAHMS and at the same time the clinician said he most likely has autism as well but it wasn't necessary to carry out an assessment. I have been in touch with a solicitor who offers a service where an independent Psychologist can interview my son, diagnose and then write a report which is tailored to highlight the reasons why this may have caused my son to do what he has done, which could then be used in court should we need it. I do believe his neurodiversity has a lot to do with why he is doing this. This type of assessment is not cheap, around £2k but this is the same price as a standard private assessment. To go through the NHS is many years of a wait and through the right to choose pathway is 18 months. Time we don't have. I just wondered if anyone has experience of doing this particular method and whether there is any advice you can offer me from your experience?
Thank you in advance for any advice you can give x
Hi,
Sorry you find yourself asking for advice. My son is in the same situation, as are many other parents on here.. He is in the process of being assessed for ASD and ADHD so hopefully that will provide some insight. We have now been on his journey for just over a year and are awaiting charging decision from CPS and would probably consider an independant phsycological review at that point rather than spend the money now..
For us the immediate thing was to get our son to speak to the StopItNow counsellors and to start to understand why he found himself doing this..
In my opinion there were a number of factors that contributed to his conversations.. social media use from 14/15 where older females did to him what he is now accused of.. covid lockdowns.. online gaming... loneliness.. not able to communicate effectively... bullying at school.. curiosity.. immaturity.. and neurodiversity.. please don't take these as excuses for his actions..
In the past year he has dropped off social media, has focused on his job, passed his driving test, started playing football and socialising with his teammates.. he is starting to show maturity and has made so much progress.. my worry now is when does all that good work go to waste.. every day l say to myself what the hell have you done for the sake of trying to find friends online.. l despise social media and really hope that the under 16 ban comes into force..
Anyhow all l can do is wait and seek support from others on here.. not sure if that helps at all..
Sorry you find yourself asking for advice. My son is in the same situation, as are many other parents on here.. He is in the process of being assessed for ASD and ADHD so hopefully that will provide some insight. We have now been on his journey for just over a year and are awaiting charging decision from CPS and would probably consider an independant phsycological review at that point rather than spend the money now..
For us the immediate thing was to get our son to speak to the StopItNow counsellors and to start to understand why he found himself doing this..
In my opinion there were a number of factors that contributed to his conversations.. social media use from 14/15 where older females did to him what he is now accused of.. covid lockdowns.. online gaming... loneliness.. not able to communicate effectively... bullying at school.. curiosity.. immaturity.. and neurodiversity.. please don't take these as excuses for his actions..
In the past year he has dropped off social media, has focused on his job, passed his driving test, started playing football and socialising with his teammates.. he is starting to show maturity and has made so much progress.. my worry now is when does all that good work go to waste.. every day l say to myself what the hell have you done for the sake of trying to find friends online.. l despise social media and really hope that the under 16 ban comes into force..
Anyhow all l can do is wait and seek support from others on here.. not sure if that helps at all..
Many similarities with my 18yo son too who is also going through ADHD assessment. So difficult.
The thing is, the government now plans to ban under 16's from social media and teach social media in classes from September.. this is all too late for a generation of children and young adults.. the damage is already done.. the horse has bolted.. social media firms have been given the freedom to create addictive algorithms and lure young people into false security.. Ofcom should have regulated these businesses better.. putting safety before profits..
Similar situation here, ADHD & autistic, aged 19yrs son, talking to Stop it now and other counsellors has helped him hugely. We also will get a 'report' done on him if it goes to court. "Knock" was in January and he has managed to finish 2nd yr of uni okay. We have learnt more than we want to now about what our children can access online and it is terrifying. Something has to be done to let future children actually get through childhood without seeing the evil world that is out there. Wishing you lots of love on this terrible journey
It's so sad what they're exposed to and in many cases groomed into. I really hope more can be done to make children and parents aware of the dangers and the consequences. Very little is talked about it. Sending love and support back. It's the hardest thing to watch our already vulnerable teenage boys go through this x
Similar situation here. We got the knock last summer and my teenage son voluntarily handed his phone over to be seized due to information provided by a well known app that he had been viewing IIOC. Always knew 'he was on the spectrum' but never really thought it may lead to something like this. We've paid for a private ADHD and autism assessment for which he was recently diagnosed with both. No mention in the report that his neurodiversity could have led to his behaviour , just confirmed his diagnosis on the basis of the information provided by me, him and his school. I'm so sad for him that he felt so lonely he has sought out friendships online, only to be bombarded by adult themed chatrooms he has gone in and gone down a rabbit hole he can't get out of. How many more youngsters out there are being failed by tech companies allowing this to happen? These are offences our children are going to be criminalised for and will effect them for the rest of their lives yet the multi million pound companies carry on allowing it to happen. Ofcom should definitely take more responsibility. Wasn't the Online Safety Act 2023 supposed to be preventing this from happening? I'm a worried and scared mum who wishes she could just turn the clock back to when family life was 'normal'.
So much resonates in all your posts. Neurodivergence, loneliness and isolation, bullying etc. It's terribly sad that this is happening to our sons, and others are being similarly affected in chatrooms around violence, radicalisation and suicide. It's awful that it's happening and no one seems to be talking about the effects on young people criminalised as a result. The ban on social media doesn't really address this for me it just pushes the age up, and youngsters will likely find ways around it. It also puts all the onus on them. Surely they need to clamp down on these awful spaces and the grooming of youngsters in them. Just awful and like you all I am so sad and angry that it's affected my lovely son x
