18 months on
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I wanted to come here with an update 18 months on. I had the knock on the door and my husband was arrested in January 2025. I had no idea what was to come. He killed himself within 24 hours of being released from his initial arrest. The short version of the story is we don't believe he directly harmed anyone but had been behaving in a way that would have seen him charges. As you can imagine I was horrified and shocked. My world shattered. But at least me and the kids, and other kids were now safer from one person. I had great support from here and a therapist. My local authority even gave me a support worker for people who suffered loss from suicide.
in the last 18 months me and kids have moved to our forever home, spent 4 weeks with our in-laws, on holiday, enjoying the family we still have. We have had holidays, days out, I've started dating and we are all moving on as best we can. One of my kids is still in play therapy and one get support elsewhere, but I just wanted to say to anyone who is still frozen or new to this space, do not let it stop you living your life. Ask for all the help and support you need and there is a life and happiness out there for you. It's not easy, but I've done it. Good luck with your future.
in the last 18 months me and kids have moved to our forever home, spent 4 weeks with our in-laws, on holiday, enjoying the family we still have. We have had holidays, days out, I've started dating and we are all moving on as best we can. One of my kids is still in play therapy and one get support elsewhere, but I just wanted to say to anyone who is still frozen or new to this space, do not let it stop you living your life. Ask for all the help and support you need and there is a life and happiness out there for you. It's not easy, but I've done it. Good luck with your future.
I'm 4 years this week since the knock and I wouldn't have believed it to be possible at the time - but I am happy and content.
Yes I've lost friends. Yes I'm skint. Yes my boys want no contact with their father. But I have a new home and a fabulous new partner.
I wouldn't wish this journey on anyone but I've come out the other side much stronger. No one will ever treat me that way again.
Yes I've lost friends. Yes I'm skint. Yes my boys want no contact with their father. But I have a new home and a fabulous new partner.
I wouldn't wish this journey on anyone but I've come out the other side much stronger. No one will ever treat me that way again.
Hi Florence94 and AnxiousGirl, and everyone else on the forum!
The team read your post and just wanted to reach out. Thank you so much for sharing your experience here, I was really moved by the tone of your post. What you and your family have experienced is unimaginable for many, and I personally am in awe of your resilience.
To hear that you are finding happiness, that your children are now getting some support and even things like you having family holidays! I think that is a blessing to the forum, and I hope really helps some people who are struggling.
I did also want to acknowledge that suicide can be really triggering for some, so a message to other users if you found this upsetting at all please do reach out for some support. While we are here for you and if you want to email us, we will always make sure to reply and help as best we can, I don’t want to position us as the experts on grief and suicide when there are some really great organisations that work specifically in this area.
For lots of people on the forum their ‘person’ is a man, and we know that men often struggle to get help to talk about the wellbeing or suicidal thoughts so I wanted to signpost to a couple of specific agencies that can help:
https://andysmanclub.co.uk/
https://www.thecalmzone.net/
https://spuk.org.uk/
If your person is a teenager or young person not an adult then Papyrus is also a really great option for support:
https://www.papyrus-uk.org/
Florence94 above mentioned that there was little support available at the time, so if anyone else knows of other great organisations, or has experience with the ones I've mentioned above, please let us know. Lets use this space to share those resources and help each other.
I hope this was helpful, and thank you again for sharing with us,
The Forum Team
The team read your post and just wanted to reach out. Thank you so much for sharing your experience here, I was really moved by the tone of your post. What you and your family have experienced is unimaginable for many, and I personally am in awe of your resilience.
To hear that you are finding happiness, that your children are now getting some support and even things like you having family holidays! I think that is a blessing to the forum, and I hope really helps some people who are struggling.
I did also want to acknowledge that suicide can be really triggering for some, so a message to other users if you found this upsetting at all please do reach out for some support. While we are here for you and if you want to email us, we will always make sure to reply and help as best we can, I don’t want to position us as the experts on grief and suicide when there are some really great organisations that work specifically in this area.
For lots of people on the forum their ‘person’ is a man, and we know that men often struggle to get help to talk about the wellbeing or suicidal thoughts so I wanted to signpost to a couple of specific agencies that can help:
https://andysmanclub.co.uk/
https://www.thecalmzone.net/
https://spuk.org.uk/
If your person is a teenager or young person not an adult then Papyrus is also a really great option for support:
https://www.papyrus-uk.org/
Florence94 above mentioned that there was little support available at the time, so if anyone else knows of other great organisations, or has experience with the ones I've mentioned above, please let us know. Lets use this space to share those resources and help each other.
I hope this was helpful, and thank you again for sharing with us,
The Forum Team
Florence
I remember your post vividly.
Im so glad you sound like your family are starting to heal and recover from a double whammy of awful events. I wish you all the very best future and hope you know that it's your strength and courage that has done that xxxx Keep on rising lovely lady xxx
I remember your post vividly.
Im so glad you sound like your family are starting to heal and recover from a double whammy of awful events. I wish you all the very best future and hope you know that it's your strength and courage that has done that xxxx Keep on rising lovely lady xxx
