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Hi,
So I had the knock approximately 4 months ago. My OH was arrested for online communication offences. He is currently on bail pending investigation. But since the arrest he has declined to tell me anything about why he was arrested in the first place.
Im frustrated as I thought we could be honest with each other but it turns out you never really know a person.
His family have been less than supportive to me and my little boy. In fact his mum actually called social services on ME! This was after his arrest so I can only see this as her being vindictive and trying to lessen the fact hes the one in trouble.
SC were involved however he failed to disclose anything to them about the charges so can only have supervised contact with our child.
His demands for spending time are unreasonable and the fact he thinks he can demand anything is just laughable.
Im highly frustrated with the whole situation and I feel less than supported by SC as we're now a closed case. (What does that even mean?!)
Hes done nothing but threaten me with solicitors and court yet hes the one that's done wrong.
Any advice out there?
So I had the knock approximately 4 months ago. My OH was arrested for online communication offences. He is currently on bail pending investigation. But since the arrest he has declined to tell me anything about why he was arrested in the first place.
Im frustrated as I thought we could be honest with each other but it turns out you never really know a person.
His family have been less than supportive to me and my little boy. In fact his mum actually called social services on ME! This was after his arrest so I can only see this as her being vindictive and trying to lessen the fact hes the one in trouble.
SC were involved however he failed to disclose anything to them about the charges so can only have supervised contact with our child.
His demands for spending time are unreasonable and the fact he thinks he can demand anything is just laughable.
Im highly frustrated with the whole situation and I feel less than supported by SC as we're now a closed case. (What does that even mean?!)
Hes done nothing but threaten me with solicitors and court yet hes the one that's done wrong.
Any advice out there?
Did the SS ever become aware of the charges? Did you tell them about his arrest? Did the police tell them?
Does he have any bail conditions? SS should not really close the case until he has been to court and the legal process is concluded.
I understand that his family called them about you, so your case may have been closed, but has anyone contacted SS about him and what he did?
Does he have any bail conditions? SS should not really close the case until he has been to court and the legal process is concluded.
I understand that his family called them about you, so your case may have been closed, but has anyone contacted SS about him and what he did?
The police & childcare contacted the SS about him and why he had been arrested.
His bail conditions prevent him from having any contact with minors.
I just dont understand any of this or why there's not more support for the families going through this.
I also don't understand why the police can't give me more information about the case as his wife.
His bail conditions prevent him from having any contact with minors.
I just dont understand any of this or why there's not more support for the families going through this.
I also don't understand why the police can't give me more information about the case as his wife.
Hi,
If his bail conditions are no contact or no unsupervised contact then I'm not really sure what grounds he thinks he has to take you to court. What does contact look like currently and who supervises? How is your child coping with contact? There are apps for coparenting that aren't as intrusive as them having your number or email and once set up you could block him on everything else. It sounds very much like him and his mom are coercively controlling. Keep everything they say incase you need the evidence for court. I'd avoid answering their calls or engaging in conversation as then it is their word against yours. Look at advice on how to respond to post separation abuse. Ss must be happy with the safeguarding measures you've put in place and have closed the case due to that. I'm unsure why the police haven't given you any information but once charges are brought you can make a request via Sarah's law xxx
If his bail conditions are no contact or no unsupervised contact then I'm not really sure what grounds he thinks he has to take you to court. What does contact look like currently and who supervises? How is your child coping with contact? There are apps for coparenting that aren't as intrusive as them having your number or email and once set up you could block him on everything else. It sounds very much like him and his mom are coercively controlling. Keep everything they say incase you need the evidence for court. I'd avoid answering their calls or engaging in conversation as then it is their word against yours. Look at advice on how to respond to post separation abuse. Ss must be happy with the safeguarding measures you've put in place and have closed the case due to that. I'm unsure why the police haven't given you any information but once charges are brought you can make a request via Sarah's law xxx
Hi I'm sorry for what you are going through. Ss will have closed the case so to speak because the supervised access has been set up and they are happy with you as a protective parent. With mine it's set up as 2x 2 hour supervised visits a week on set days so we all know where we stand but these can be altered due to stuff maybe getting in the w@y. E.g. After school clubs or kids being at a bday party on set day.
The understanding of ss closing it is on both parties sticking to the agreed supervision. If he is trying to change things, taking longer etc you can immediately 're engage them for help in this which is what would suggest it you are unhappy or if he is in any way breaking his bail conditions
As his wife police can't tell you anything in depth, prob due to gdpr issues.
The understanding of ss closing it is on both parties sticking to the agreed supervision. If he is trying to change things, taking longer etc you can immediately 're engage them for help in this which is what would suggest it you are unhappy or if he is in any way breaking his bail conditions
As his wife police can't tell you anything in depth, prob due to gdpr issues.
I'm so sorry on top of everything you have to deal with an uncooperative co-parenting situation. It doesn't sound like he's remorseful or realises the repercussions of what he's done or has even accepted the conditions and seriousness of what he's done; let's face it the police don't usually get that far without some pretty damming evidence.
Also if/when his case does go to court you as a member of the public are entitled to go and listen to find out exactly what is happening and what has been said. It might even be disclosed in the press. I had a family member scouring the court listings and online to find out any further details as I didn't go to court. Let's just say the version he told me was very different to court and the reality probably lies in the middle which was still completely his fault.
Does he not realise that if you as a protective parent are concerned that he or his parents (if they're supervising) are not following his bail conditions and restrictions...that means he could be held on remand? Or if you don't want to supervise you can request that it's done via a contact centre and he'll have to pay for the privilege of attending a place not of his choosing and having a stranger supervise. Thats a very dangerous game to play.
Also if/when his case does go to court you as a member of the public are entitled to go and listen to find out exactly what is happening and what has been said. It might even be disclosed in the press. I had a family member scouring the court listings and online to find out any further details as I didn't go to court. Let's just say the version he told me was very different to court and the reality probably lies in the middle which was still completely his fault.
Does he not realise that if you as a protective parent are concerned that he or his parents (if they're supervising) are not following his bail conditions and restrictions...that means he could be held on remand? Or if you don't want to supervise you can request that it's done via a contact centre and he'll have to pay for the privilege of attending a place not of his choosing and having a stranger supervise. Thats a very dangerous game to play.
