You're not alone. We all know exactly how you feel sadly, it is so tough. We're just at the start only 8 months in only a handful of close family/ friends know and not been to court yet so all that to look forward to. And it is deflating and punishing enough. But one thing I've noticed is that some days are brutal and others are not so bad, and some are even good days, and am sure (or hoping!) that at your stage of the journey there are more good than bad. Maybe worth speaking to your GP or a call to the helpline for some support if it's feeling too much at the moment? These feelings do pass and aren't forever, as horrible as they feel at the time. But sometimes we have a limit and need a little help to get past the trauma and triggers. Take lots of care and don't think too far ahead, one day at a time x

It took me quite a while to realise that the offence and offending would never truly go away. As I was married to the offender it was 'easier' to walk away - but to some that option isn't there. I didn't want to carry on the rest of my life waiting for it all to resurface. I feel for you

It sounds beyond awful, sadso :( and I totally get your sentiment < I just cant take it>, I have felt that for (too) long stretches too. Please keep reaching out for support. I doubt it ever leaves us - our psyches, lives, and relationships are forever altered, but i believe, in time, we will adapt.