Hi all
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Just realised I have waded straight in and missed completely the Introductions ansd newbie page.
Mum of lad now 18, arrested at 16, offending started at 15 it seems, police file gone to CPS, me freaking out and head running riot. Not sleeping, no appetite and he's not much better either.
Really struggling today. Must stop Google-bashing potential outcomes. I read one thing that puts me at ease then five hundred other things that send me off again. Cried all morning.
I feel so alone, I have no partner I can confide in or work through this with, it's just me, the boy and his elder brother.
I'm appalled at some of the things he was looking at and I don't understand why but I also love him so much and therefore have all these conflicting feelings I don't know how to process, and of course the parent-guilt is overwhelming. If only me and his Dad hadn't split, etc etc ad infinitum.
Am already paranoid that everyone in the village knows, by some form of thought-osmosis, so god only knows what I will be like once we get a court date.
Don't you just wish you could turn the clock back and tell them, hey, when you get that thought in your head, just don't!!
Mum of lad now 18, arrested at 16, offending started at 15 it seems, police file gone to CPS, me freaking out and head running riot. Not sleeping, no appetite and he's not much better either.
Really struggling today. Must stop Google-bashing potential outcomes. I read one thing that puts me at ease then five hundred other things that send me off again. Cried all morning.
I feel so alone, I have no partner I can confide in or work through this with, it's just me, the boy and his elder brother.
I'm appalled at some of the things he was looking at and I don't understand why but I also love him so much and therefore have all these conflicting feelings I don't know how to process, and of course the parent-guilt is overwhelming. If only me and his Dad hadn't split, etc etc ad infinitum.
Am already paranoid that everyone in the village knows, by some form of thought-osmosis, so god only knows what I will be like once we get a court date.
Don't you just wish you could turn the clock back and tell them, hey, when you get that thought in your head, just don't!!
Hi, I’m so sorry you’ve found yourself here. I’m a mum too, and I understand that awful conflict of hating what your son has done while still loving him so fiercely that you feel every bit of his pain as if it were your own.
You and your son may already have reached out to your GP for support, but if not, it’s definitely something worth considering. I also really recommend the courses and online modules provided by LFF, they can help him start understanding the reasons behind his choices and what he needs to put in place to make safer, healthier decisions going forward. None of us can turn the clock back, but we can help our sons face what’s happened and build something better from here.
Right now, it’s going to be about surviving each day one step at a time, doing whatever helps make life bearable. There’s no “right” way to cope with something like this, just small, manageable moments that get you through.
And please remember: you’re not alone. There are other mums on here walking this same path, feeling the same heartbreak, and finding their way through it slowly and bravely.
You and your son may already have reached out to your GP for support, but if not, it’s definitely something worth considering. I also really recommend the courses and online modules provided by LFF, they can help him start understanding the reasons behind his choices and what he needs to put in place to make safer, healthier decisions going forward. None of us can turn the clock back, but we can help our sons face what’s happened and build something better from here.
Right now, it’s going to be about surviving each day one step at a time, doing whatever helps make life bearable. There’s no “right” way to cope with something like this, just small, manageable moments that get you through.
And please remember: you’re not alone. There are other mums on here walking this same path, feeling the same heartbreak, and finding their way through it slowly and bravely.
