Social services back again
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Looking for some advice.
Husband was sentenced a little over a month ago now, 2 years suspended sentence, SOR and SHPO 10 years. Before plea hearing, husband had been living at home with safety plan of no unsupervised contact and social services closed case. Family wellbeing became involved due to husband being in crisis with mental health and said he needed to move out. Social services have got involved again now he's been sentenced and started assessment and said he isn't allowed any contact with our child for now. I said my end goal would be to be a family again if social services deems it safe. She basically said she doesn't see how I can safeguard our child in the long run if he comes home, that I need a plan of what I'm going to do and asked if I thought my husband was a risk to our child. Obviously I know in my heart he would never hurt her but I know saying 'no' looks bad so I said that due to conviction there will always be some sort of risk and now I'm worried I've come across as though I believe there is a risk. Just confused and don't really know what to say. She just made it seem like I'm not capable of keeping my child safe if husband was to come home but then in another breathe said that I'm a protective parent and doing everything correctly.
Please any advice on what I should say, what husband should/shouldnt say, anything that helped?
Will he ever be able to come home? :(
Husband was sentenced a little over a month ago now, 2 years suspended sentence, SOR and SHPO 10 years. Before plea hearing, husband had been living at home with safety plan of no unsupervised contact and social services closed case. Family wellbeing became involved due to husband being in crisis with mental health and said he needed to move out. Social services have got involved again now he's been sentenced and started assessment and said he isn't allowed any contact with our child for now. I said my end goal would be to be a family again if social services deems it safe. She basically said she doesn't see how I can safeguard our child in the long run if he comes home, that I need a plan of what I'm going to do and asked if I thought my husband was a risk to our child. Obviously I know in my heart he would never hurt her but I know saying 'no' looks bad so I said that due to conviction there will always be some sort of risk and now I'm worried I've come across as though I believe there is a risk. Just confused and don't really know what to say. She just made it seem like I'm not capable of keeping my child safe if husband was to come home but then in another breathe said that I'm a protective parent and doing everything correctly.
Please any advice on what I should say, what husband should/shouldnt say, anything that helped?
Will he ever be able to come home? :(
I think you have to break these things down. If he was having contact before then what is their evidence based for taking it away now? Sentencing itself is simply a legal process and shouldn't change the risk assessment unless something brand new came up at that point?
In terms of discussing risk, it's something along the lines of 'my husband has done x y and z and I know this was very serious and caused serious harm to those children. I believe there are two potential risks. One is that he offends online again. This would cause serious harm to those children and there is potential harm to my child eg if he ever saw images on the laptop/phone. To mitigate against this risk I intend to do x y z (we use an app to monitor all my husband's devices, and probation/mosovo will also monitor him so this also helps reduce the risk). You can also discuss that reoffending rates are low and probation assessed him at whatever risk of reoffending.i think medium risk would be something like a 4% likelihood. Have a search on here, someone posted the stats a couple of years ago.
Risk 2 is that the online offending becomes contact offending against your own child. You recognise this is a real risk, even though you believe it is a very low risk. You (for example) believe it is very low based on his offender assessment and also due to research that shows very very few men offend against their own children (again search for the stats). However you k kw it is a real risk so you will not allow him to do personal care, you will have a camera, you will do keep safe work with your child, your child's nursery or school will be made aware and will ensure there is class time dedicated to keep safe work so your child has other safe people to talk to ...whatever it is you think is proportionate
It's very doable but unfortunately some social services are more risk averse than others or are outdated with their knowledge. Social workers are not specialists in this subject even if they believe they are, they are generic workers in child protection, and sometimes need to be carefully and sensitively educated by explaining research
You can also discuss the risks to your child of not having a positive, consistent relationship with their father such as impact on attachment.
In terms of discussing risk, it's something along the lines of 'my husband has done x y and z and I know this was very serious and caused serious harm to those children. I believe there are two potential risks. One is that he offends online again. This would cause serious harm to those children and there is potential harm to my child eg if he ever saw images on the laptop/phone. To mitigate against this risk I intend to do x y z (we use an app to monitor all my husband's devices, and probation/mosovo will also monitor him so this also helps reduce the risk). You can also discuss that reoffending rates are low and probation assessed him at whatever risk of reoffending.i think medium risk would be something like a 4% likelihood. Have a search on here, someone posted the stats a couple of years ago.
Risk 2 is that the online offending becomes contact offending against your own child. You recognise this is a real risk, even though you believe it is a very low risk. You (for example) believe it is very low based on his offender assessment and also due to research that shows very very few men offend against their own children (again search for the stats). However you k kw it is a real risk so you will not allow him to do personal care, you will have a camera, you will do keep safe work with your child, your child's nursery or school will be made aware and will ensure there is class time dedicated to keep safe work so your child has other safe people to talk to ...whatever it is you think is proportionate
It's very doable but unfortunately some social services are more risk averse than others or are outdated with their knowledge. Social workers are not specialists in this subject even if they believe they are, they are generic workers in child protection, and sometimes need to be carefully and sensitively educated by explaining research
You can also discuss the risks to your child of not having a positive, consistent relationship with their father such as impact on attachment.
