What can we tell the teenagers?
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I have two teenagers under 16. My partner (not their biological Dad but they are very close to him and have a step dad relationship with him) was arrested last week for having viewed and downloaded multiple IIOC over a long period of time. He has admitted it and is cooperating. He is on bail, bail conditions are no unsupervised contact with under 18s but i have cut all contact (for now at least!).
We are fortunate that the kids are used to splitting their time between mine and their Dads, and that my partner is often away for work so that is giving us some buffer. However, they are asking lots of questions, coming up with all sorts of scenarios as have been told they cant text or call him etc. They can see i am upset and struggling.
I want to tell the teens something but i am struggling with what. What line to go down. How far to go with the truth etc. They are also neurodivergent, and one in particular struggles with people breaking the rules like skipping a queue, talking in class etc so i know he will find this even harder to process. I am seeking advice from SS but it takes so long!
Any advice or examples of what you guys did would be helpful, thank you.
We are fortunate that the kids are used to splitting their time between mine and their Dads, and that my partner is often away for work so that is giving us some buffer. However, they are asking lots of questions, coming up with all sorts of scenarios as have been told they cant text or call him etc. They can see i am upset and struggling.
I want to tell the teens something but i am struggling with what. What line to go down. How far to go with the truth etc. They are also neurodivergent, and one in particular struggles with people breaking the rules like skipping a queue, talking in class etc so i know he will find this even harder to process. I am seeking advice from SS but it takes so long!
Any advice or examples of what you guys did would be helpful, thank you.
Sorry for your challenge re telling the children. May I suggest you call the helpline connected with this forum? They may be able to advise you.
I've sent you a message :)
As a parent of teens / preteens I would say to tell them the full truth as soon as possible, and apologise for not telling them earlier. If you want specific advice on how to approach it, do ring the helpline, but please don't put it off. They really need to feel they can trust you. Also give their school / schools a heads up so they can offer any support needed. IME schools are 100% professional and unshockable (teachers really do see all sorts). My kids also have a little circle of adults other than me who are in the know, and who they know they can talk to freely if they want.
If you go into the next thread for families of young people who've offended pinned at the top are resources specifically targeted at helping young people affected by others offending behaviour. Haven't used them but they may be of use.
@lucyfaithfulfoundation - have often thought these resources are not in the best place as I think they are for children/ young people affected by offending rather than young offenders themselves. Probably better in the thread before on families.
@lucyfaithfulfoundation - have often thought these resources are not in the best place as I think they are for children/ young people affected by offending rather than young offenders themselves. Probably better in the thread before on families.
