Today was The Knock - I feel lost and confused
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Hi all,
I'm new here and seem to be part of club I never knew existed. I'm still reeling from today's events and trying to work out what happens now.
Today my OH was arrested and released with bail conditions. Devices seized. From what I understand, police have since found, and he has made an admission to, Cat C images on his laptop (against advice of the duty solicitor, I think).
I'm in shock. We have 2 children under 18. He's not allowed to stay overnight anymore. I think tomorrow I'll be receiving a call (or visit?) from Children's Services. What happens after they've contacted me? Will we go straight on a CPP?
I'm reading the information the police gave me, navigating this website and forum for support, but it still feels so surreal. I've never had any concern about my OH previously, we've been together a long time, he's in a respectable job, doting dad, and we've never had any previous contact with authorities. We were just... normal for want of a better word (though I know normal doesn't exist). Everything was good.
So far today I've tried to keep it together, ask the OIC as much as I could while trying to process what was happening, talk things through with the kids as best I can using the resources I could (but knowing it's going to be a much longer conversation), find him a local B&B to stay for the next few nights as a short term solution, and tried to keep to our normal routine as much as possible (neuro-divergent household so routines are important) but now the kids are asleep and he's staying elsewhere and I feel alone, confused and desperately trying to read everything on this site.
I'm trying to work out best possible outcomes and worst possible outcomes, all the while knowing each case is different. Even the best possible outcome seems like we're all going to go through hell and, from what I understand, it's going to be a long journey. I thought maybe months but from what I'm reading here it's going to be years.
I'm not sure if I'm asking for support or just introducing myself with this post. I guess I'm wondering what things might look like later down the line for us but also what do I need to know or do now to make sure my kids are as best supported they can be during this process? I'm already trying to read through this site and the info the police gave me, but I'd be very appreciative if anyone could let me know what they're glad they did from this first day or what they wish they could do differently if they had to relive it again.
I'm new here and seem to be part of club I never knew existed. I'm still reeling from today's events and trying to work out what happens now.
Today my OH was arrested and released with bail conditions. Devices seized. From what I understand, police have since found, and he has made an admission to, Cat C images on his laptop (against advice of the duty solicitor, I think).
I'm in shock. We have 2 children under 18. He's not allowed to stay overnight anymore. I think tomorrow I'll be receiving a call (or visit?) from Children's Services. What happens after they've contacted me? Will we go straight on a CPP?
I'm reading the information the police gave me, navigating this website and forum for support, but it still feels so surreal. I've never had any concern about my OH previously, we've been together a long time, he's in a respectable job, doting dad, and we've never had any previous contact with authorities. We were just... normal for want of a better word (though I know normal doesn't exist). Everything was good.
So far today I've tried to keep it together, ask the OIC as much as I could while trying to process what was happening, talk things through with the kids as best I can using the resources I could (but knowing it's going to be a much longer conversation), find him a local B&B to stay for the next few nights as a short term solution, and tried to keep to our normal routine as much as possible (neuro-divergent household so routines are important) but now the kids are asleep and he's staying elsewhere and I feel alone, confused and desperately trying to read everything on this site.
I'm trying to work out best possible outcomes and worst possible outcomes, all the while knowing each case is different. Even the best possible outcome seems like we're all going to go through hell and, from what I understand, it's going to be a long journey. I thought maybe months but from what I'm reading here it's going to be years.
I'm not sure if I'm asking for support or just introducing myself with this post. I guess I'm wondering what things might look like later down the line for us but also what do I need to know or do now to make sure my kids are as best supported they can be during this process? I'm already trying to read through this site and the info the police gave me, but I'd be very appreciative if anyone could let me know what they're glad they did from this first day or what they wish they could do differently if they had to relive it again.
Welcome, and sorry you have joined the club :(.
Well done on finding the forum so quickly, there is plenty to read, and you can dm peole individually too if you wish.
Naturally you have many questions. Calling the helpline would help answer them. It is closed at the weekend so best call today if you can.
I think going straight to CPP is unlikely. Ususally CIN is the first step.
Once Social are involved they will liase with the children's school/s, and teachers and safeguarding are usually helpful. The children may also be offered counselling at school.
Keep posting here. We understand.
Go well....
Well done on finding the forum so quickly, there is plenty to read, and you can dm peole individually too if you wish.
Naturally you have many questions. Calling the helpline would help answer them. It is closed at the weekend so best call today if you can.
I think going straight to CPP is unlikely. Ususally CIN is the first step.
Once Social are involved they will liase with the children's school/s, and teachers and safeguarding are usually helpful. The children may also be offered counselling at school.
Keep posting here. We understand.
Go well....
Hi.. Sorry you have joined the club from hell. I have posted my story not that far back. Im 3 weeks today and it has been a real real struggling journey. But i just wanted to reach out to know your not alone.. but right now it feela the loniest place on earth. My brother was offender. As far as his kids go i can never forgive him for bringing this to their front door. He was able to see them after about 2 weeks. Has 3 supervised visits a week for 2 hours.
We had our knock back in January its a long long process we have children u18 my person is in therapy now and is getting support iour case is addiction not many belive that
we are still waiting for charges police keep extending bail hes not allowed to be unsupervised with kids or stay in home over night
Social services have us on CIN child in need plan.
They speak to children at school without u
You and partner are assessed
Ask chat gp to draw up a family safety plan ready for the social 1st visit have stuff like bathroom doors have locks, children are not left unsupervised etc he does no personal care etc
We are staying together to ive listened alot best of luck to you
we are still waiting for charges police keep extending bail hes not allowed to be unsupervised with kids or stay in home over night
Social services have us on CIN child in need plan.
They speak to children at school without u
You and partner are assessed
Ask chat gp to draw up a family safety plan ready for the social 1st visit have stuff like bathroom doors have locks, children are not left unsupervised etc he does no personal care etc
We are staying together to ive listened alot best of luck to you
