Sentencing and Lack of Accountability
Notifications OFF
Hi everyone,
I'm just looking for some advice or to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation, as I want to be as prepared as possible for what comes next.
My ex-partner pleaded guilty last week in the magistrates' court to three offences: two counts of online sexual communication with a child and one count of inciting sexual activity with a child. Both "children" were actually two different police decoys. During the court hearing, I also found out that one of the decoys had told him they were 12 years old and in Year 7. The case has now been sent to Crown Court for sentencing in the second week of August.
What I'm struggling with is that, despite pleading guilty, he has since messaged his former best friend saying that he still doesn't believe he's guilty and only pleaded guilty on his solicitor's advice. Throughout the last year he repeatedly told me he was innocent. He never told me he'd even been charged - the police had to contact me themselves. He's also said things to me like, "You're not the victim," and has never been transparent or taken any real responsibility. I do not believe a word that comes out of his mouth.
We currently only have limited need to know contact through app close.
We have a four-year-old son together. We're no longer in a relationship, and haven't been since the knock. His current bail conditions mean he cannot have unsupervised contact with anyone under 18, so his contact with our son is supervised by his mother.
I've contacted the police to ask what happens next regarding Children's Services and any formal referrals, and I'm still waiting to hear back. I've also asked whether I'll be able to speak to probation before sentencing so I can share my concerns, particularly around any Sexual Harm Prevention Order and his continued denial and lack of honesty.
At the same time, I don't want to unnecessarily punish my son by preventing a relationship with his dad if professionals believe it's safe. However, my ex has started making comments about having a bedroom ready for him in a future house, again to me another red flag at any acknowledgement about the seriousness of the situation.
Has anyone been through something similar? I'm particularly interested in:
- What sort of sentence was given for similar offences following a guilty plea?
- Whether probation or the court took continued denial or lack of insight into account.
- What happened with Children's Services and future contact arrangements where there was a young child involved.
I know every case is different, but hearing other people's experiences would really help me understand what might happen next.
Thank you.
I'm just looking for some advice or to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation, as I want to be as prepared as possible for what comes next.
My ex-partner pleaded guilty last week in the magistrates' court to three offences: two counts of online sexual communication with a child and one count of inciting sexual activity with a child. Both "children" were actually two different police decoys. During the court hearing, I also found out that one of the decoys had told him they were 12 years old and in Year 7. The case has now been sent to Crown Court for sentencing in the second week of August.
What I'm struggling with is that, despite pleading guilty, he has since messaged his former best friend saying that he still doesn't believe he's guilty and only pleaded guilty on his solicitor's advice. Throughout the last year he repeatedly told me he was innocent. He never told me he'd even been charged - the police had to contact me themselves. He's also said things to me like, "You're not the victim," and has never been transparent or taken any real responsibility. I do not believe a word that comes out of his mouth.
We currently only have limited need to know contact through app close.
We have a four-year-old son together. We're no longer in a relationship, and haven't been since the knock. His current bail conditions mean he cannot have unsupervised contact with anyone under 18, so his contact with our son is supervised by his mother.
I've contacted the police to ask what happens next regarding Children's Services and any formal referrals, and I'm still waiting to hear back. I've also asked whether I'll be able to speak to probation before sentencing so I can share my concerns, particularly around any Sexual Harm Prevention Order and his continued denial and lack of honesty.
At the same time, I don't want to unnecessarily punish my son by preventing a relationship with his dad if professionals believe it's safe. However, my ex has started making comments about having a bedroom ready for him in a future house, again to me another red flag at any acknowledgement about the seriousness of the situation.
Has anyone been through something similar? I'm particularly interested in:
- What sort of sentence was given for similar offences following a guilty plea?
- Whether probation or the court took continued denial or lack of insight into account.
- What happened with Children's Services and future contact arrangements where there was a young child involved.
I know every case is different, but hearing other people's experiences would really help me understand what might happen next.
Thank you.
