I just need a rant for a minute. My ex blew up our lives, it's still ongoing, we're divorced but he's here in the mornings and evenings helping with the kids.

except how much help is it when we have to supervise?



I was seven months pregnant when we got the knock. By the grace of god I kept it together to get this baby earth side healthy, to navigate my toddlers' feelings about daddy disappearing at night and never having one on one time with him.

and now people know we are separated and they see that I can never go out in the evenings, never get time off or be away from my kids and they think I'm a control freak. 'Leave them with their dad, he can cope! You need to leave them eventually!'



you don't think I want to?! You don't think I want one f-ing moment to myself, whilst he is the one whose done this to us and he can swan in and out as he likes? Don't you think my life would be easier if I could see my friends, or go to an exercise class or even just go for a walk by myself?!

I haven't got a village, and I was sick this week and all I could think is 'what happens if I die?' They can't go to their dad, my mum is elderly, they'll end up with my shitty ex SIL and their lives will be ruined even more.



i know this is dramatic- in the main, I have gone through this all with so much order and power. Immediate divorce, found him somewhere to live, changing my kids surnames to protect if anything gets to the media.

they are trying to extend for a year so we have no idea how long everything will carry on but I'd say likely with the proof of communication they have (vigilante group) I have at least five more years of solo childcare, solo parents evenings and school plays and everything that I don't want him near for fear of social services and people being aware.

and no clear split/ no custody or sharing time, just me having to be around my ex all the time if I want my kids to have their dad. Which is painful.

Its the partners/ex partners who are left carrying the load and it drives me nuts.