Not being charged?
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I reported my now ex partner.
Police now saying he's not being charged but it's not closed yet, they've got stuff to do first.
I don't understand it.
Our whole lives blew up because I couldn't unsee what I saw, and police called me and told me he would definitely be charged like 3 weeks after it originally was reported.
The content sounded like family members, he fled when I asked him if one of the children were safe as the content had her name etc
That's not including the "mangas".
He's calling it "a fetish" and "a fantasy id never actually do".
I feel like I did something wrong reporting it because everyone immediately turned on me in the family. Absolutely everyone argued it doesn't matter he was looking as he "wouldn't actually do it".
He's got zero remorse over it, we had fights as he told me it's just a fetish and I'm "digging my heels in".
We have kids, I've let children's services take over because I still love him and my judgement is impaired.
Has anyone else been through this?
I just keep getting hit with waves of grief. I've got a therapist, my friends said I'm stuck "frozen in time" as I can't unsee it and can remember almost all of the written stuff that I did see.
I understand I'm not completely linear, I'm really upset after months of being told he would be charged, and now being told that it won't be a charge as didn't meet the threshold but still concerns etc.
He did lie to me, his ex apparently said something like how he's innocent and he's been cleared, and how children's services have closed it. Idk, I don't have the messages anymore. But I did call and fact check and that was all untrue.
Police now saying he's not being charged but it's not closed yet, they've got stuff to do first.
I don't understand it.
Our whole lives blew up because I couldn't unsee what I saw, and police called me and told me he would definitely be charged like 3 weeks after it originally was reported.
The content sounded like family members, he fled when I asked him if one of the children were safe as the content had her name etc
That's not including the "mangas".
He's calling it "a fetish" and "a fantasy id never actually do".
I feel like I did something wrong reporting it because everyone immediately turned on me in the family. Absolutely everyone argued it doesn't matter he was looking as he "wouldn't actually do it".
He's got zero remorse over it, we had fights as he told me it's just a fetish and I'm "digging my heels in".
We have kids, I've let children's services take over because I still love him and my judgement is impaired.
Has anyone else been through this?
I just keep getting hit with waves of grief. I've got a therapist, my friends said I'm stuck "frozen in time" as I can't unsee it and can remember almost all of the written stuff that I did see.
I understand I'm not completely linear, I'm really upset after months of being told he would be charged, and now being told that it won't be a charge as didn't meet the threshold but still concerns etc.
He did lie to me, his ex apparently said something like how he's innocent and he's been cleared, and how children's services have closed it. Idk, I don't have the messages anymore. But I did call and fact check and that was all untrue.
It doesn't seem right that the police can say he's not going to be charged but the case isn't closed. If he isn't charged it should be no further action (NFA) which closes the investigation. In my opinion he doesn't sound like a safe person with the way he describes his behaviour. If he does get NFA it may fuel his ideas that this behaviour is not illegal and isn't harmful which is an incredibly dangerous viewpoint. I will have a look at courses you can suggest to ss but I would have concerns that he wouldn't engage with anything as he doesn't believe that it's an issue. I'm sorry you're in this situation. You have done the right things of reporting and stepping back to allow ss to make the judgement calls you don't feel able to right now xxx
Depending on what the police are thinking, there could still be the possibility of a caution, or even a sexual risk order, if they think there is a danger to children. Social services are also going to be involved too, I imagine.
Just wanted to say you did the right thing, always remember that.
