I’m at a crossroads. Advice needed!
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I don't know what to do with my life. I feel stuck and trapped but also don't know if I can end things with my boyfriend.
We had the knock over 3 years ago, I was alone at the house when the police called demanding to speak to him. I had to call him to come to the house. He told me about what he was being charged with and had to give over his phone. At first he denied everything but then he opened up. He got help, he went to therapy and has dealt with his porn addiction. In the first 6 months after the knock he gambled and was in serious debt, as well I found him on dating apps. I maybe should have left then but I just wasn't in the right headspace.
Fast forward to now and I can see how much he has grown and changed. Keep in mind when we got the knock he was 24 now he is coming 28. So definitely maturity has helped too but also the work he has done for himself. I thought I could do this make it work, I mainly tried to ignore the looming guillitine over our heads. We have bought a house together and have a cat. From the outside everything is perfect. We are to go to Thailand in Feb.
But it is now starting to tumble. He has got confirmation of his court date which is late August. He says he will probably go Guilty. I feel like I have been pulled back into reality and everything I have been ignoring is back to the forefront.
I am only 26. I want to do so much with my life. I want to travel but with this conviction we won't be allowed to. Then there is the potential media attention as well. He has got a medical done as he has constant suidical ideation and has attempted twice. The report is supportive of anonymity but it is all up to the Judge on the day.
I am just scared and angry. How could he do this? It is sick and disgusting. The duality of him is just heartbreaking. He can be the most caring and loving parter, the partner a girl would dream about but then in the next breath there is this and his other past actions. I feel like I excuse it and I am disgusted by myself.
I just don't know what to do. I love him so much. But how can I love someone who has looked at CP and animal abuse. Do I leave now? What about the house? How will I do it? I love him and don't want to let go but in the next breath I know I am stuck and have so much I want to do in this world but can't do it with him.
We had the knock over 3 years ago, I was alone at the house when the police called demanding to speak to him. I had to call him to come to the house. He told me about what he was being charged with and had to give over his phone. At first he denied everything but then he opened up. He got help, he went to therapy and has dealt with his porn addiction. In the first 6 months after the knock he gambled and was in serious debt, as well I found him on dating apps. I maybe should have left then but I just wasn't in the right headspace.
Fast forward to now and I can see how much he has grown and changed. Keep in mind when we got the knock he was 24 now he is coming 28. So definitely maturity has helped too but also the work he has done for himself. I thought I could do this make it work, I mainly tried to ignore the looming guillitine over our heads. We have bought a house together and have a cat. From the outside everything is perfect. We are to go to Thailand in Feb.
But it is now starting to tumble. He has got confirmation of his court date which is late August. He says he will probably go Guilty. I feel like I have been pulled back into reality and everything I have been ignoring is back to the forefront.
I am only 26. I want to do so much with my life. I want to travel but with this conviction we won't be allowed to. Then there is the potential media attention as well. He has got a medical done as he has constant suidical ideation and has attempted twice. The report is supportive of anonymity but it is all up to the Judge on the day.
I am just scared and angry. How could he do this? It is sick and disgusting. The duality of him is just heartbreaking. He can be the most caring and loving parter, the partner a girl would dream about but then in the next breath there is this and his other past actions. I feel like I excuse it and I am disgusted by myself.
I just don't know what to do. I love him so much. But how can I love someone who has looked at CP and animal abuse. Do I leave now? What about the house? How will I do it? I love him and don't want to let go but in the next breath I know I am stuck and have so much I want to do in this world but can't do it with him.
I would hold fire on making any big decisions until after the court case
I think the court date has just thrown you back 3yrs look at him hes progress etc
You can still travel i believe not all countries have restrictions with regards to the Sor
We are still waiting for charges its only been 6mths im in limbo
I think the court date has just thrown you back 3yrs look at him hes progress etc
You can still travel i believe not all countries have restrictions with regards to the Sor
We are still waiting for charges its only been 6mths im in limbo
