Am i really a bad person
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Hi ladies
My story is alot different than most of you here and hats off to you ladies who survive the knock and the life after that.
Here is my story it is going to be long so bear with me.
My husband is RSO and i met him years after his prison sentence. He was a very different person compared to at the time of his offense. He was/is very remorsful and always willing to change for good so i decided to stay with him as clearly he needed help and motivation to move on in his life to be a better person and i believe in second chances.
We really had a very happy life. We both learn driving and bought a lovely house and everything was just perfect.
Fast forward various years to we thought to have family and ask ppo first to understand where we stand and receive positive response. This is very my nightmare starts, SS get involved and intially there were good telling us we are here to help you both that how you can protect your baby and put us on CIN plan. Just few days before my delivery they kicked my husband out of the house and after that they ask us to split up. This wasn't a social worker's decision but the managements decision who never met us. After various months of fighting we are finally in court. Husband is still living away and have a limited contact with our son. It has been more than a year since SS has been invloved. All other professionals are very supportive towards up but I am just fed up being judged by SS that i have done a big mistake by staying with him and bringing a child into this.
Why they always think that people don't change and my husband will abuse his son. They haven't done any work with me despite of me asking this to them since the beginning of process and they didn't even ask my husband that what work he has done to address his offending behaviour.
Why they don't believe in rehabilitation and why government spend so much time and effort in it when offender can't have his own family.
Thanks for reading. I am just a tired mom and a wife who wants to rant.
My story is alot different than most of you here and hats off to you ladies who survive the knock and the life after that.
Here is my story it is going to be long so bear with me.
My husband is RSO and i met him years after his prison sentence. He was a very different person compared to at the time of his offense. He was/is very remorsful and always willing to change for good so i decided to stay with him as clearly he needed help and motivation to move on in his life to be a better person and i believe in second chances.
We really had a very happy life. We both learn driving and bought a lovely house and everything was just perfect.
Fast forward various years to we thought to have family and ask ppo first to understand where we stand and receive positive response. This is very my nightmare starts, SS get involved and intially there were good telling us we are here to help you both that how you can protect your baby and put us on CIN plan. Just few days before my delivery they kicked my husband out of the house and after that they ask us to split up. This wasn't a social worker's decision but the managements decision who never met us. After various months of fighting we are finally in court. Husband is still living away and have a limited contact with our son. It has been more than a year since SS has been invloved. All other professionals are very supportive towards up but I am just fed up being judged by SS that i have done a big mistake by staying with him and bringing a child into this.
Why they always think that people don't change and my husband will abuse his son. They haven't done any work with me despite of me asking this to them since the beginning of process and they didn't even ask my husband that what work he has done to address his offending behaviour.
Why they don't believe in rehabilitation and why government spend so much time and effort in it when offender can't have his own family.
Thanks for reading. I am just a tired mom and a wife who wants to rant.
There is no way to edit the post here..
I forget to mention that i never said to SS that my husband is no risjk and already worked on safety plan which they are fully aware of.
I forget to mention that i never said to SS that my husband is no risjk and already worked on safety plan which they are fully aware of.
You are not a bad person sweetheart. Life with an RSO has its difficulties, even long after the sentencing is over. Social work involvement is soul destroying at times but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
It took us almost 4 years to get my husband living with us but it can be done. There are hoops to jump through and random workers you need to impress, it can take a toll on you and your relationship. I highly advise you to seek an advocate to help you. They are impartial and will support you through it all. They know the law and what you can and cannot be instructed to do by social work. They are always fair. X
It took us almost 4 years to get my husband living with us but it can be done. There are hoops to jump through and random workers you need to impress, it can take a toll on you and your relationship. I highly advise you to seek an advocate to help you. They are impartial and will support you through it all. They know the law and what you can and cannot be instructed to do by social work. They are always fair. X
Thanks for the reply Sallyblue and also for sharing your experience. 4 years are really long time. Me and my husband both have solicitors but SS have more say in everything.
We always have good relationships with social workers but they always get overruled by management. Social worker even said that they have alot pressure from ofsted.
Did you or your husband have to go for specialist psychological assessment?
We always have good relationships with social workers but they always get overruled by management. Social worker even said that they have alot pressure from ofsted.
Did you or your husband have to go for specialist psychological assessment?
Lee, Google "advocates near me". There will be a number to call. My husband has solicitor and I had both at one point.
Neither of us has a psychological assessment since my husbands release really. He attended his psychologist for 6 sessions but they never passed on his report to social work. We never knew what it said. We are in Scotland though so things ate a wee bit different here x
Neither of us has a psychological assessment since my husbands release really. He attended his psychologist for 6 sessions but they never passed on his report to social work. We never knew what it said. We are in Scotland though so things ate a wee bit different here x