Experience with SS and SHPO
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Hi,
the overnight breach is probably failing to notify as per SOR requirements rather than the SHPO. SOR requirements include notifying when you are around a child for more than 12 hours and notifying and providing an address that you spend 7 or more nights a year.
I would say you from a ss perspective you would be in a better position if you had a safety plan documented. Due to your partner being a long term family friend I think ending the relationship is a very short sighted suggestion by the sw since the children would still come into contact with him at events etc.
In your situation I'd write up a safety plan for contact and document what your children currently know about the offences, sex, abuse, privacy and pornography. It's not ideal to be in this position and it is incredibly frustrating when it feels like your ability to parent is in question. At the time of ss coming into my life my oldest was almost 18. I don't think you need to seek legal advice at this stage because I don't think it would fall into anything more than child in need assessment. Depending on what area you are in you might be able to find the thresholds for each stage of action by ss. I found them for my area by looking up my local authority children's services page. It might help you to feel more confident xxx
the overnight breach is probably failing to notify as per SOR requirements rather than the SHPO. SOR requirements include notifying when you are around a child for more than 12 hours and notifying and providing an address that you spend 7 or more nights a year.
I would say you from a ss perspective you would be in a better position if you had a safety plan documented. Due to your partner being a long term family friend I think ending the relationship is a very short sighted suggestion by the sw since the children would still come into contact with him at events etc.
In your situation I'd write up a safety plan for contact and document what your children currently know about the offences, sex, abuse, privacy and pornography. It's not ideal to be in this position and it is incredibly frustrating when it feels like your ability to parent is in question. At the time of ss coming into my life my oldest was almost 18. I don't think you need to seek legal advice at this stage because I don't think it would fall into anything more than child in need assessment. Depending on what area you are in you might be able to find the thresholds for each stage of action by ss. I found them for my area by looking up my local authority children's services page. It might help you to feel more confident xxx
This is great advice, thank you!
The breach was because they have classed it as "temporary residing", there are no clear cut rules around how many times you have to stay somewhere for it to class as that, it was under 7 nights and we were careful it didn't exceed 12 hours, we haven't disputed the breach purely because this situation was new to the both of us and it's not worth the argument with them
The SW has already said this is in CPP territory, they've made their minds up before even finishing the assessment. The solicitor I spoke to already was very helpful, it was more just clarifying things and hearing their view on it.
I will definitely try and find what the thresholds are, that's a great idea!! I am currently working on a full dossier of everything so this will be helpful! X
The breach was because they have classed it as "temporary residing", there are no clear cut rules around how many times you have to stay somewhere for it to class as that, it was under 7 nights and we were careful it didn't exceed 12 hours, we haven't disputed the breach purely because this situation was new to the both of us and it's not worth the argument with them
The SW has already said this is in CPP territory, they've made their minds up before even finishing the assessment. The solicitor I spoke to already was very helpful, it was more just clarifying things and hearing their view on it.
I will definitely try and find what the thresholds are, that's a great idea!! I am currently working on a full dossier of everything so this will be helpful! X
I think the sw has said that to scare you into ending the relationship. There's no way that supervised contact with someone deemed low risk meets CPP thresholds without some serious embellishment on the part of the sw. Something I will say is that it would be better from a risk perspective if he could get somewhere to live that's separate from you and your extended family.
Anything you put together for ss needs to be completely child focused, they aren't interested in the impact no contact has on him, his living situation or rehabilitation needs. I'll go through posts and find a list of books I got through a course that may be helpful for keeping the conversation open between you and your children. I'll add it to the thread as a separate comment xxx
Anything you put together for ss needs to be completely child focused, they aren't interested in the impact no contact has on him, his living situation or rehabilitation needs. I'll go through posts and find a list of books I got through a course that may be helpful for keeping the conversation open between you and your children. I'll add it to the thread as a separate comment xxx
NSPCC have a guide to talking about difficult topics.
Here is the list of books, make sure the parents read them before they try to start the conversation as they may not be appropriate in this situation.
1. An Exceptional Children’s Guide to Touch – Hunter Manasco (no age specified, but for young children, especially those with special needs)
2.Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept – Jayneen Sanders (3+)
3.It’s My Body – Lory Freeman (3–6 years)
4.Your Body Belongs to You – Cornelia Spelman (3–6 years)
5.My Body Belongs to Me – Jill Starishevsky (3–10 years)
6.Tell Somebody it Happened to Me – Nancy Flowers (4–10 years)
7.Come and Tell Me (Be sensible—and safe) – Helen Hollick (5–10 years)
8.Feeling Happy Feeling Safe (A safety guide for young children) – Michelle Elliott(6–11 years)
9. A Very Touching Book (for little people and for big people) – Jan Hindman (8–12 years)
10. Let’s Talk About Sex (Growing up, changing bodies, sex and sexual health) – Robie H. Harris (Pre-teens and teenagers)
Only number 10 is age appropriate for your children but I've left it as a whole list for others who may need resources for opening up conversations xxx
Here is the list of books, make sure the parents read them before they try to start the conversation as they may not be appropriate in this situation.
1. An Exceptional Children’s Guide to Touch – Hunter Manasco (no age specified, but for young children, especially those with special needs)
2.Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept – Jayneen Sanders (3+)
3.It’s My Body – Lory Freeman (3–6 years)
4.Your Body Belongs to You – Cornelia Spelman (3–6 years)
5.My Body Belongs to Me – Jill Starishevsky (3–10 years)
6.Tell Somebody it Happened to Me – Nancy Flowers (4–10 years)
7.Come and Tell Me (Be sensible—and safe) – Helen Hollick (5–10 years)
8.Feeling Happy Feeling Safe (A safety guide for young children) – Michelle Elliott(6–11 years)
9. A Very Touching Book (for little people and for big people) – Jan Hindman (8–12 years)
10. Let’s Talk About Sex (Growing up, changing bodies, sex and sexual health) – Robie H. Harris (Pre-teens and teenagers)
Only number 10 is age appropriate for your children but I've left it as a whole list for others who may need resources for opening up conversations xxx
