Really struggling
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First bail date has been pushed back.
Police did bail check on husband last week to check he was living at mum and dad's. Said no progress on device check.
Husband is now over thinking everything, even down to police asking if he had called any helplines! He is seeing this as a sign police are trying to "nail him to the wall."
The police explained it is just a process but he is really fixated on the fact that he can't prove his I licence (even though he is being told by solicitor he doesn't have to).
I know no one on this forum believes anyone who says they did not do it but he didnt- solicitor has sent all lives of enquiry around a hack as there is evidence on phone and email account over period of time.
Don't know how to keep everyone going. It is stealing any happiness! I am struggling to cope.
Police did bail check on husband last week to check he was living at mum and dad's. Said no progress on device check.
Husband is now over thinking everything, even down to police asking if he had called any helplines! He is seeing this as a sign police are trying to "nail him to the wall."
The police explained it is just a process but he is really fixated on the fact that he can't prove his I licence (even though he is being told by solicitor he doesn't have to).
I know no one on this forum believes anyone who says they did not do it but he didnt- solicitor has sent all lives of enquiry around a hack as there is evidence on phone and email account over period of time.
Don't know how to keep everyone going. It is stealing any happiness! I am struggling to cope.
Hi, It sounds like you’re all carrying an enormous amount right now, and I just wanted to say I hear how frightening and exhausting this is for you both.
When the police turn up for a bail check and give very little information, it’s completely natural for your husband’s mind to run to the worst?case scenario. The questions they asked, including whether he’s contacted any helplines, are part of their duty of care. They realise people in these situations are going to need support, and checking that isn’t an indication of suspicion or that they’re trying to build something against him. It’s simply routine. The same goes for the update about “no progress” on the device checks. Digital forensics is painfully slow, and officers often don’t know anything more than what they’ve already told him.
None of this stops the emotional toll, though. Living in this kind of uncertainty steals joy from everyday life, and it’s completely understandable that you’re struggling to keep everyone going. You’re trying to hold a lot together at once, and that pressure is huge.
If you haven't already done so, you might want to consider who you can reach out to for support, as this is so much to try carrying alone and you need to look after your own wellbeing.
When the police turn up for a bail check and give very little information, it’s completely natural for your husband’s mind to run to the worst?case scenario. The questions they asked, including whether he’s contacted any helplines, are part of their duty of care. They realise people in these situations are going to need support, and checking that isn’t an indication of suspicion or that they’re trying to build something against him. It’s simply routine. The same goes for the update about “no progress” on the device checks. Digital forensics is painfully slow, and officers often don’t know anything more than what they’ve already told him.
None of this stops the emotional toll, though. Living in this kind of uncertainty steals joy from everyday life, and it’s completely understandable that you’re struggling to keep everyone going. You’re trying to hold a lot together at once, and that pressure is huge.
If you haven't already done so, you might want to consider who you can reach out to for support, as this is so much to try carrying alone and you need to look after your own wellbeing.
