Leaving
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I left on Friday after 9 months after the knock. I feel sad, I feel numb and I don't know what to do with myself. I know I can't continue to live in the constant state of anxiety everyday and living 3 months to 3 months waiting to hear if there's any news or if the bail will be extended again and I know I need time to grieve him and what I thought our life would be together. I've been trying to look for some relatable content surrounding break ups but this is just different. You don't see anyone talking about going through anything like this and trying to deal with the hurt. I've been going to counselling hoping that would help but it's like I just word vomit for an hour saying the same thing week in week out and it doesnt make me feel better. I don't think anything will make me feel better and I know time is a healer but I don't know what to do with this pain I feel. I'm not really sure what I want to get out of this post but I just wanted to post somewhere people do understand the hurt and the anxiety and the complete heartbreak of being put in a situation you wouldn't wish on anyone.
Hi there,
I also left my relationship this year, 5 months-post knock. It's such a terrible feeling, especially when you go searching for stories of people in similar situations and finding close to nothing. The isolation is another factor that we have to deal with, along with the breakup. Because it's not something we can just bring up when talking about it with people. I feel your pain. I too am still in a lot of pain myself and am depending on time to heal. DMs are open x.
I also left my relationship this year, 5 months-post knock. It's such a terrible feeling, especially when you go searching for stories of people in similar situations and finding close to nothing. The isolation is another factor that we have to deal with, along with the breakup. Because it's not something we can just bring up when talking about it with people. I feel your pain. I too am still in a lot of pain myself and am depending on time to heal. DMs are open x.
I left 10 months post knock. I hadn't thought about it but my counsellor said I was grieving for the loss of the life I thought I was going to have.
Turns out the life I now have (I'm 4 years post knock) is so much better than I thought it would be - maybe better
Yes it takes a long time to emerge from under the cloud/shame/embarrassment - but remember you have done nothing wrong and you have every right to a happy life.
I don't know how I got though it sometimes - I kept myself busy and had food friends who supported me. I hope you have the same.
Turns out the life I now have (I'm 4 years post knock) is so much better than I thought it would be - maybe better
Yes it takes a long time to emerge from under the cloud/shame/embarrassment - but remember you have done nothing wrong and you have every right to a happy life.
I don't know how I got though it sometimes - I kept myself busy and had food friends who supported me. I hope you have the same.
I really feel how you feel Lollipop with trying to find any relatable breakup content, but our situations are so different. In my case, I wasn't given a choice. My ex made those choices and as a result is now on remand awaiting trial. I had no choice but to leave him when he had done so much damage. And now, in similarity to you, I'm grieving the life I thought I had in front of me just months ago. An engagement, marriage, children. And whilst I'm grateful to have found out who he really was before this things, it doesn't make losing that future with the him I believed existed any easier.
I ended my marriage immediately but have just gone no contact after finding out more about his disgusting online behaviour. At first I really did grieve the lost relationship and future because on the surface the marriage was good. Like most, I suspected nothing. Now I grieve for every second I spent/wasted with the vile scumbag. It's all horrible and I feel sorry for all innocent victims and secondary victims.
I've just separated 2.5yrs after the knock. I thought I could do it, I can't. Sentencing in October is recommending 12mths suspended and 5yr SHPO. That to me tells me he has been lying and playing down everything. I've been asking him for a transcript for 6mths.
We had been together 16yrs, married 10. The pain is unbearable and I'm grieving hard. But I know I only have one life and I didn't and don't deserve this.
We had been together 16yrs, married 10. The pain is unbearable and I'm grieving hard. But I know I only have one life and I didn't and don't deserve this.
I ended my marriage immediately. And after 2 years he got a NFA. This made no difference to me. I did not believe him and there was no way I wanted to live my life not trusting my partner. The whole thing traumatised me, left me with PTSD and I also lost my home and belongings. Still navigating the divorce but I am in a better place.
