Paralysed
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Hi I'm new here,
I'm literally paralysed from what my ex did we had the knock in Oct 25 and his bail has been extended until April 27. At first I was made to believe he was set up, so timeline of events: my ex was a prison officer he "accidentally" has his phone in his bag and it was seized that got forensically tested and they found the image and then passed it onto the police fast forward a few months we get the knock, I was made to believe (by him) it was a big miss understanding fast forward to march 26 I discovered he had potentially breached bail and he was financially abusing me and I had to report him so I did fast forward to now he is no longer able to contact me unless it's about our child
Now this man was my everything we have a very intertwined history we lost our 3 year old suddenly and I'm glad I haven't seen the image but I have the worst nightmare because the police said the age of the ai image and that is the same age as our child. I'm literally trying to keep everything together but he also made me financially dependent on him and the mum guilt because I'm struggling is paralysing and this is probably over the top but everyone I speak to either tell me to reduce all contact and others say well think how hard it is for him but in order to protect my child I have to shield him nobody understands I thought he was my best friend but then at the same time he literally makes me feel sick knowing that he accessed that content and I feel repulsed I don't know if anyone else felt like that.
Thank you sorry for the rambling
I'm literally paralysed from what my ex did we had the knock in Oct 25 and his bail has been extended until April 27. At first I was made to believe he was set up, so timeline of events: my ex was a prison officer he "accidentally" has his phone in his bag and it was seized that got forensically tested and they found the image and then passed it onto the police fast forward a few months we get the knock, I was made to believe (by him) it was a big miss understanding fast forward to march 26 I discovered he had potentially breached bail and he was financially abusing me and I had to report him so I did fast forward to now he is no longer able to contact me unless it's about our child
Now this man was my everything we have a very intertwined history we lost our 3 year old suddenly and I'm glad I haven't seen the image but I have the worst nightmare because the police said the age of the ai image and that is the same age as our child. I'm literally trying to keep everything together but he also made me financially dependent on him and the mum guilt because I'm struggling is paralysing and this is probably over the top but everyone I speak to either tell me to reduce all contact and others say well think how hard it is for him but in order to protect my child I have to shield him nobody understands I thought he was my best friend but then at the same time he literally makes me feel sick knowing that he accessed that content and I feel repulsed I don't know if anyone else felt like that.
Thank you sorry for the rambling
Really sorry to hear about your experience. You are not alone. I thought my husband was a kind and caring man and couldn't imagine our marriage ending. I now think he's absolutely vile and twisted and a pathological liar. Facing his depravity is turning me into a nervous wreck but I refuse to not face the truth of what he has done. We have no children together so I have gone no contact. The one silver lining is that I can do that, I know it's not possible for everyone.
It's so hard. We want to believe them. We do believe them. But in my experience lies breed lies and maybe it's an attempt to protect themselves (from a prison sentence or from being alone) but the truth becomes a distant memory. It took me a while to see the light. Turns out it was the right decision as his lies continued and he ended up with another prison sentence.
You have to do whatever it takes to protect both yourself and your child.
That sounds harsh when I read it back ????
You have to do whatever it takes to protect both yourself and your child.
That sounds harsh when I read it back ????
Do what you feel is best your your child. One parent is better then two sometimes.
If you feel contact would benefit your child you do not have to have that contact in your home. If he wants to see his child he needs to pay for a contact centre. If he wont then he clearly doesnt want to see them.
If you feel contact would benefit your child you do not have to have that contact in your home. If he wants to see his child he needs to pay for a contact centre. If he wont then he clearly doesnt want to see them.
