Hi everyone.

I'm almost 6 months post knock. 6 months since my ex-partner was arrested and he has been held on remand since. Trial is next month. Although I'm functioning - seeing friends, working, going on holiday with my family - I also just feel like I'm always carrying this heavy sadness within me. I miss him more than I ever thought possible. I miss the life we had together and the future we had planned. Despite all I know now, the betrayal, deceit and the horrific things he has done. I still miss him. I've never felt so alone. Even with incredible family support, I feel abandoned in this mess he has created. Does it ever get any easier? I wish I could just switch off every feeling I have for him.