4th arrest
Notifications OFF
I've not used the forum in a while. So sorry that this might be a long post.
My son was arrested at my home in March this year following a vigilante sting. I learned during this sting that he had been arrested in November of last year whilst living with his girlfriend, then she had left him. He came to live with me in January this year because he couldn't afford to stay on his own in rented accommodation. He was arrested both times for online chats to children and sending indecent images .
I allowed him to continue to live with me following his arrest in March because I felt sorry for him and hoped I could help him to try and get some sort of a life back. He promised he'd get help and that just by me knowing about what he'd done that he would stop. He didn't get help and I found he was unreachable. He refused to talk to me about his offences and totally buried his head in tbe sand. But after loosing his previous job and being out of work from the January he got himself a job and things started to look up.
Fast forward a couple of months, he'd lost his new job and he was arrested again. This time it was a historical report from my ex partners son. He claimed that when my son was a teenager and he was 10, that my son had done things to him sexually. My son strongly denies that he did. But its his word against my sons.
The 4th arrest came a few weeks ago. He had his dog seized by the police and was arrested for having sexual contact with his dog. I was told (unofficially) that they found evidence on one of his devices. It sickened me to my stomach.
Unfortunately after he was bailed for the 4th time I've had to take the decision that I can't let him live with me. This has been the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I'm really struggling with my mental health. I feel like I'm grieving. He's living in a hmo I believe and I have very little contact with him, he only messages me when he needs to collect anything. When he does he asks me to leave it outside the front door and he collects it while I'm not in. He won't face me because I imagine he's ashamed.
Its so hard trying to figure out if I'm doing the right thing for him and for me. I just want him to get the help he needs. I know I can't force him, but I can't understand why he just buries his head in the sand and hopes it will all go away.
I don't know how I'm coping with everything and wondered if anyone could suggest where I can perhaps get some counciling for myself. He won't talk to me about anything and the not knowing anything is terrible.
Thanks for reading.
My son was arrested at my home in March this year following a vigilante sting. I learned during this sting that he had been arrested in November of last year whilst living with his girlfriend, then she had left him. He came to live with me in January this year because he couldn't afford to stay on his own in rented accommodation. He was arrested both times for online chats to children and sending indecent images .
I allowed him to continue to live with me following his arrest in March because I felt sorry for him and hoped I could help him to try and get some sort of a life back. He promised he'd get help and that just by me knowing about what he'd done that he would stop. He didn't get help and I found he was unreachable. He refused to talk to me about his offences and totally buried his head in tbe sand. But after loosing his previous job and being out of work from the January he got himself a job and things started to look up.
Fast forward a couple of months, he'd lost his new job and he was arrested again. This time it was a historical report from my ex partners son. He claimed that when my son was a teenager and he was 10, that my son had done things to him sexually. My son strongly denies that he did. But its his word against my sons.
The 4th arrest came a few weeks ago. He had his dog seized by the police and was arrested for having sexual contact with his dog. I was told (unofficially) that they found evidence on one of his devices. It sickened me to my stomach.
Unfortunately after he was bailed for the 4th time I've had to take the decision that I can't let him live with me. This has been the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I'm really struggling with my mental health. I feel like I'm grieving. He's living in a hmo I believe and I have very little contact with him, he only messages me when he needs to collect anything. When he does he asks me to leave it outside the front door and he collects it while I'm not in. He won't face me because I imagine he's ashamed.
Its so hard trying to figure out if I'm doing the right thing for him and for me. I just want him to get the help he needs. I know I can't force him, but I can't understand why he just buries his head in the sand and hopes it will all go away.
I don't know how I'm coping with everything and wondered if anyone could suggest where I can perhaps get some counciling for myself. He won't talk to me about anything and the not knowing anything is terrible.
Thanks for reading.
