Addicted to porn
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Going through lots of messages on here, I see a constant running theme 'he was addicted to porn' how can a porn addiction featuring adults lead to watching things about children. I just don't understand what leads people down this dark hole. and when they have come across these things why have they continued to view them.
desensitized? No empathy for those poor children in them? Lying when they get caught, Selfish men and they are mainly men. No thoughts for their partners or children and how this rips apart everyone's lives.
tonight I'm feeling so angry. 2 years post knock and my anger has just intensified.
Our whole lives blown apart, my children can't live a normal life without SS involvement and a solid marriage blown to pieces.
desensitized? No empathy for those poor children in them? Lying when they get caught, Selfish men and they are mainly men. No thoughts for their partners or children and how this rips apart everyone's lives.
tonight I'm feeling so angry. 2 years post knock and my anger has just intensified.
Our whole lives blown apart, my children can't live a normal life without SS involvement and a solid marriage blown to pieces.
It's the sad reality of addiction. Even though porn addiction isn't formally classified as an addiction yet. The saying goes that you can get addicted to anything.
The reality of any addiction is you never plan to get to where you end up. No heroin addict will tell you they knew they'd take heroin one day. They started on less intense substances, maybe out of curiosity or stress, and over time they got less of a hit. It's the exact same with porn. If you're misusing it, the novelty wears off and you need something new and different to escape reality. Over time, the pool of choices reduces. Standard porn does nothing anymore, and you end up chasing the dopamine hit from extreme material.
It doesn't take away the horror of child abuse material. But by this point, their reality is warped. The people in the images aren't real people to them anymore ,that part of the brain has turned off. They might know deep down that what they're doing is wrong, but the compulsion to get the next 'hit' overrides everything, just like someone who is addicted to drugs will do horrific things to get their next dose of drugs. But prior to addiction would never have hurt anyone.
Does this excuse their behavior? Absolutely not. They made choices, and those choices have harmed children. But understanding the mechanisms of how someone becomes addicted and escalates down this route shows that it operates just like any other addiction.
Unfortunately, like other addictions those close to them get hurt and thrown through hell because of someone else choices. We are the ones who take the full brunt of it all. Your dammed by association whether you stay or not sometimes. We are the ones that get scrutinised by SS to ensure our childs safty despite doing nothing wrong ourselves because of our links to someone who could portentially harm them. Its okay to be angry, your life is different because of them.
The reality of any addiction is you never plan to get to where you end up. No heroin addict will tell you they knew they'd take heroin one day. They started on less intense substances, maybe out of curiosity or stress, and over time they got less of a hit. It's the exact same with porn. If you're misusing it, the novelty wears off and you need something new and different to escape reality. Over time, the pool of choices reduces. Standard porn does nothing anymore, and you end up chasing the dopamine hit from extreme material.
It doesn't take away the horror of child abuse material. But by this point, their reality is warped. The people in the images aren't real people to them anymore ,that part of the brain has turned off. They might know deep down that what they're doing is wrong, but the compulsion to get the next 'hit' overrides everything, just like someone who is addicted to drugs will do horrific things to get their next dose of drugs. But prior to addiction would never have hurt anyone.
Does this excuse their behavior? Absolutely not. They made choices, and those choices have harmed children. But understanding the mechanisms of how someone becomes addicted and escalates down this route shows that it operates just like any other addiction.
Unfortunately, like other addictions those close to them get hurt and thrown through hell because of someone else choices. We are the ones who take the full brunt of it all. Your dammed by association whether you stay or not sometimes. We are the ones that get scrutinised by SS to ensure our childs safty despite doing nothing wrong ourselves because of our links to someone who could portentially harm them. Its okay to be angry, your life is different because of them.
I'd strongly encourage you to look at completing the Inform Programme. I think it will help you join some of the dots, and provide you with an invaluable support network x
