Face to face counselling
Notifications OFF
Hi newbie here. My son was charged with 1 cat C moving image which appears to have been sent to him 4 years ago in a WhatsApp chat.
We are going through the court process atm after almost a year of long drawn out investigation and he pleaded guilty in court a few weeks ago, even though he says he does not have any recollection of the image (he was 21).
So because he pleaded guilty he had to immediately sign SOR and yesterday I had an unannounced visit from plain clothed officers to check he was living here and complying (which he is). I naively wasn't really expecting it. They seemed surprised he was at work and a bit miffed he wasn't at home, but said they would call him (they haven't!).
It just brought back memories of the night I had police turn up to search my home and I am now an anxious wreck again. For the past year every time I have seen a car pull up outside I get a rising fear. Every knock at the door sends me into a panic. And yesterday after they left I was at home alone and I just totally broke down.
I'm completely supportive of my son, as are his girlfriend and the rest of our family so we have each other, but I don't want my son to see how much the whole process has affected me as I know he feels as though he's let us all down, so I am keeping a brave face on all the time. But I'm struggling immensely.
My partner has suggested I seek counselling but I don't know where to start. Does anyone have any experience of this and has it helped you?
We are going through the court process atm after almost a year of long drawn out investigation and he pleaded guilty in court a few weeks ago, even though he says he does not have any recollection of the image (he was 21).
So because he pleaded guilty he had to immediately sign SOR and yesterday I had an unannounced visit from plain clothed officers to check he was living here and complying (which he is). I naively wasn't really expecting it. They seemed surprised he was at work and a bit miffed he wasn't at home, but said they would call him (they haven't!).
It just brought back memories of the night I had police turn up to search my home and I am now an anxious wreck again. For the past year every time I have seen a car pull up outside I get a rising fear. Every knock at the door sends me into a panic. And yesterday after they left I was at home alone and I just totally broke down.
I'm completely supportive of my son, as are his girlfriend and the rest of our family so we have each other, but I don't want my son to see how much the whole process has affected me as I know he feels as though he's let us all down, so I am keeping a brave face on all the time. But I'm struggling immensely.
My partner has suggested I seek counselling but I don't know where to start. Does anyone have any experience of this and has it helped you?
Hi there
I am in therapy. Started this last week and even after one session, I am feeling empowered. I am 19 months post knock (second knock in July for the same investigation).
Check out on this page as there are recommendations for counsellors and trauma therapists in this particular offence.
I am sorry you find yourself at this place because of someone else's silly behaviour. I hope your son is taking full accountability for the devastation he has caused his family. Sending love.
I am in therapy. Started this last week and even after one session, I am feeling empowered. I am 19 months post knock (second knock in July for the same investigation).
Check out on this page as there are recommendations for counsellors and trauma therapists in this particular offence.
I am sorry you find yourself at this place because of someone else's silly behaviour. I hope your son is taking full accountability for the devastation he has caused his family. Sending love.
I just want to add. I know as his mum you want to protect him but that should not be at the expense of your own mental health. I am sure he is destroyed by how much has affected you as his mum but he equally needs to work on h what lead him to be arrested and charged. The people who offend (son, brother, partner) never consider the wider fall out from this. He is very lucky to have such a supportive and loving family around him.
I wish I could of had some kind of therapy. I tried occ health councilling as I work in the nhs and also talking therapies and both told me I was just grieving for my breakup and they couldn't help me. I felt incredibly let down by the system! They would listen to my full story which was so hard to retell and then it would all be for nothing
