Family and Friends Forum

Is there light at the end of the tunnel

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Vic87

Member since
October 2018

39 posts

Posted Tue December 4, 2018 6:55pmReport post

So the knock came on the 2nd of October

My husband is not aloud to live at home I am aloud to do contact with him and the children. Social services are in the loop but they have left me to do contact which is a good thing I am taking it. The police have rang me today to say they want to see me next week so I can look at some pictures to make sure they are of me as I got with my husband at 17 and yes I have let him take pictures of me ,I now feel a bit silly and embarrassed with this and to top it all off I now have had to resign for my job due to my mental health now I feel like I am failing I love my husband so much and I believe what he has told me and his solicitor (solicitor has disclosed Evey thing my husband told him ) and just feel like I have this dark hole will never start to become small or disappear

Sorry for waffling on but just have no where to turn to and no one I know truly understands what is going on. Has anyone ever managed to have a normal life once the investigation/court ect is all done. Can we be a family again children are 4 9 and 10 I'm so down and need to get some info from people who have been or going through this x

Edited by moderator Wed February 6, 2019 10:15am

Tracey

Member since
December 2018

450 posts

Posted Tue December 4, 2018 8:43pmReport post

You're not waffling, you're like the rest of us. Confused, struggling, mixed emotions and trying to behave normally for everyone else!

I can't answer if everything goes back to normal as I'm still hallway through the process but I can say as time goes by you learn to cope with it better, somedays better than others.

Again, I think your mental health taking a battering is very normal, from my experience I've always been very together and string but I'm now on anti--depressants plus another medication for when I get overwhelmed and can't manage. I found counselling helpful although I still think we're not a common subject and there isn't anything local for me where I live. I think that's why I find this so valuable because as you know, unless you haven't been out are going through it you can't really understand it.

All you can do is hang in there and take strength from your friends and family

Xx

Maria

Member since
September 2018

286 posts

Posted Thu December 6, 2018 4:58pmReport post

In the beginning i desperatly searched for possitive stories/outcomes but didnt really find any. I think thats because people move on from it all and dont always go online to tell their story. Im in a similar position to you, i supervise my partner with the kids. I think thats a good thing, it allows some normality in this crazy situation. Im am still with my husband and we are going to try and work through it. My understanding is that all situations are different and it depends on risk and risk management (ss will look at all that plus the courts decisions etc) and decide if you can all live togetger at the end. Ss dont like to say too much as they just dont know all the facts but ss appear willing to work with us. Thats a shame you resigned from your job, were you not able to take time off sick. Make sure you take care of yourself and visit the doctor if you are struggling. Theres help out there if you need it. I no longer look for possitive stories and try to take each day at a time. Ive learned to try not get ahead of myself and go for the best outcome for each thing we need to deal with.