I'm sorry you find yourself here with us, but you're in good company. I jumped into this kind of planning too, not only becsuse it was necessaey but also I think as being busy in this way distances the emotional pain- being practical is easier.

moving to keep yourself and your kids safe might be needed but it's a very long road and it could be months or years until that is needed. If it lowers costs significantly for you or release assets it may be worth it? Also depending on how old your kids are, that destabilising might do more harm than good.



job wise he may not lose it if he's not working with minors or vulnerable people? Ive seen many on here continuing on bail. I set my ex husband up In a cheap HMO down the road but he is now moving into the workshop where he works to save money. I've seen people say they used the YMCA, cheap hostels or slept in their car if they didn't have a family member who would take them.

With the income I'm afraid ive got no advice but maybe give the helpline a callz

I let my husband stay for almost a year as my biggest fear was not managing financially. It was a long road but I got there eventually. Sadly I lost my mum whilst he was in prison ( thankfully I managed to keep it all from her) but what it did mean was that a year later I got a small inheritance which allowed me to put down a deposit on a small flat. My mortgage payments are big as due to my age I could only get a 10 year mortgage.

I am happy and content but if my scrappy car finally gives up the ghost I'm screwed as I have nothing to fall back on.

Things will fall into place and we get through it but I agree it's a good idea to think things through instead of sticking your head in the sand like I did

So sorry you find yourself here.

Its the last thing anyone needs on top of all the other stresses going on; but as others have said it might be a long road.

Your partner should only disclose when they need to; they hang onto their work as long as possible; but be aware of clauses in their employment contract that may dictate they need to disclose.

Some things I did in the early days that might help keep you afloat.

Look to see if your mortgage allows you to take a "mortgage holiday" if one of you does become unemployed.

Sell anything or cash in anything you have that has value but isn't an essential or that's been lying around; Vinted, eBay etc.

Do you have any shares or savings you can cash in or transfer across to tide you over?

Cut back on extras; any subscriptions, gym memberships etc. Can you manage on public transport or go down to one car instead of two? Can you move suppliers for any of your big bills? Electric/gas/internet?

I suspended my work based pension payments until I knew my financial situation was more stable.

if your partner isn't allowed in the family home apply to get your council tax reduced as a single person.

Also look into your person living with a friend or a relative rather than renting/hotels; you may be able to tell others that you're having relationship problems if you don't want to disclose (although may need to pick someone who doesn't have children in the home).



Good luck xx

I'm 19 months in and I'm still in the family home with my 3 children. My family member is living with his sister. Despite him not offering her an explanation, I did for safe guarding reasons as she has young grandchildren, although it is an alleged none contact offence, I was not prepared to take that risk.
Although the forensics are finished and the investigation is over, it has not yet been passed over to CPS. That could be another 12 months? In the meantime, I am getting the house ready to sell, move closer to family and hoping to be mortgage free.
It is a horrible place to be in. It is very early days for you and the shock of it right now will be overwhelming.