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Hi
Today has been a tough one, he was in court Monday for his plea, guilty for talking online to someone under age (grooming) and guilty for arranging to meet them, another charge he pleaded not guilty. ( it was the police he'd been talking to all along) They told him he'd was probably looking at 18month to 2 year, because it's a 1st offence and only went on for about 3 weeks, better than 4 year what he was told at 1st.
I was praying nothing would come out but this morning it was online his name and address, plastered online, which is my address now because he's on remand and won't be living there either when he comes out.
I felt sick when I saw it, headline "peado from ..... pleads guilty to" all the emotions I felt when he 1st got arrested came rushing back, part of me thinks the press telling the public is not helping the family of the suspect at all. No mention of the police entrapment ( not an excuse for him falling for it)
just dreading going to work tomorrow, my 1st day back after a week off going back to this.
i know this case has happened quickly to some of yours on here, it's only been just over a month, don't know how you've coped in the limbo of not knowing or waiting to see if it comes out.
Today has been a tough one, he was in court Monday for his plea, guilty for talking online to someone under age (grooming) and guilty for arranging to meet them, another charge he pleaded not guilty. ( it was the police he'd been talking to all along) They told him he'd was probably looking at 18month to 2 year, because it's a 1st offence and only went on for about 3 weeks, better than 4 year what he was told at 1st.
I was praying nothing would come out but this morning it was online his name and address, plastered online, which is my address now because he's on remand and won't be living there either when he comes out.
I felt sick when I saw it, headline "peado from ..... pleads guilty to" all the emotions I felt when he 1st got arrested came rushing back, part of me thinks the press telling the public is not helping the family of the suspect at all. No mention of the police entrapment ( not an excuse for him falling for it)
just dreading going to work tomorrow, my 1st day back after a week off going back to this.
i know this case has happened quickly to some of yours on here, it's only been just over a month, don't know how you've coped in the limbo of not knowing or waiting to see if it comes out.
So sorry Flossy, so unfair you are suffering. I'm beginning to think all reporting should be banned as its always the innocent partners who suffer. This is what I'm dreading whe he eventually gets sentenced. One of my daughters has more or less said she'll never get over it if this gets public as she has children. I hope you start to feel better. Take care x
Sending big hugs floss stay strong xxx
I dont think it's right on how things get reported in the papers and in my case it has led to a further strain on the police and court system as a man has been arrested for arson after setting our car on fire. We have also had to report our neighbour for harassment ( sorry if this scares you).
I dont think it's right on how things get reported in the papers and in my case it has led to a further strain on the police and court system as a man has been arrested for arson after setting our car on fire. We have also had to report our neighbour for harassment ( sorry if this scares you).
Thanks ann take care yourself too.
yes the press publishing it doesn't help anyone, just opened up the wound again for me and his family. it's also the not knowing if it'll be out that's bad too, it's been quick for me perhaps too quick was hoping to find another job before it came out then can't be gossiped about. Work in a supermarket so bound to be going round also don't wanna bump into his friends who are bound to question me. But feel sorry for people who've been in limbo for months and months waiting to find out that is torture.
luckily we don't have any children but I keep thinking about people who we were mutual friends with also on Facebook what are they going to say, makes me feel sick. I stupidly still love him in a way but have told him tonight not to keep calling me from prison, that didn't go down well I fear he will do something silly.
yes the press publishing it doesn't help anyone, just opened up the wound again for me and his family. it's also the not knowing if it'll be out that's bad too, it's been quick for me perhaps too quick was hoping to find another job before it came out then can't be gossiped about. Work in a supermarket so bound to be going round also don't wanna bump into his friends who are bound to question me. But feel sorry for people who've been in limbo for months and months waiting to find out that is torture.
luckily we don't have any children but I keep thinking about people who we were mutual friends with also on Facebook what are they going to say, makes me feel sick. I stupidly still love him in a way but have told him tonight not to keep calling me from prison, that didn't go down well I fear he will do something silly.
Ren
that sounds awful what a total nightmare. I think all the press coverage does sometimes is to encourage these vigilantes to do things, and that's not helping anyone. Apparently someone wrote online "hang him" I've not seen it though not been online since it happened, wanted to shut his Facebook down but he didn't know his password, so it's open to abuse.
take care.
that sounds awful what a total nightmare. I think all the press coverage does sometimes is to encourage these vigilantes to do things, and that's not helping anyone. Apparently someone wrote online "hang him" I've not seen it though not been online since it happened, wanted to shut his Facebook down but he didn't know his password, so it's open to abuse.
take care.
So sorry to hear this. I was in a similar situation a couple of years. There's a huge difference between "what is in the public interest", to "what is of interest to the public". Other more sensible countries do not publish the level of detail that our press do. It's shameful that the media care so little about the damage these stories cause to families of offenders, all so they can profit fom sensationalising them.
At work today with a colleague who has been lovely he'd seen the post online but didn't want to say anything until I did, I poured my heart out and he listened. I just fear anyone else mentioning it silly me when most people I hope will be sympathetic with me.
Also I worry now the local rag has got its story they will print a bigger spread when he finally gets sentenced, probably going into detail with what went off and probably a mugshot too, just to sell more local papers (which are expensive as it is compared to national papers) without a concern for any family members who'll obviously be effected by it all being brought up again!!
Also I worry now the local rag has got its story they will print a bigger spread when he finally gets sentenced, probably going into detail with what went off and probably a mugshot too, just to sell more local papers (which are expensive as it is compared to national papers) without a concern for any family members who'll obviously be effected by it all being brought up again!!
That's nice that someone spoke to you at work. Only one colleague has reached out to me but everyone else has shunned me at work even the manager I confided in at the very beginning and who was so supportive. I have another 2 and a half weeks off sick and I really dont know what to do.i have chosen to stay with my hubby but I feel it's unfair that they are judging me after working with both of us hubby for 10 years and me for 5 years.
Feeling quite sad today couldn't even manage to go into a hairdressers to see if they could fit me in for a cut.
It's all swings and round abouts
Feeling quite sad today couldn't even manage to go into a hairdressers to see if they could fit me in for a cut.
It's all swings and round abouts
Hi Flossy
Im so sorry to read this has happened.
I totally agree with everything posted on here, it just adds to the already overstretched police.
I am dreading the media coverage more than anything????
Do you mind telling what sentence your husband got please? My partner was caught comminicating and had arranged to meet up with a minor, but by vigilantes.
sending you best wishes
Mabel x x
Im so sorry to read this has happened.
I totally agree with everything posted on here, it just adds to the already overstretched police.
I am dreading the media coverage more than anything????
Do you mind telling what sentence your husband got please? My partner was caught comminicating and had arranged to meet up with a minor, but by vigilantes.
sending you best wishes
Mabel x x
REN they shouldn't be judging you on something you haven't done, aren't companies supposed to have a quality of care or something for their staff, not sure what type of company u work for, mines a large supermarket chain. Shouldn't matter if your sticking with him. I've only confided in a couple of senior managers and a couple of close colleagues who saw the online story, I was more worried over what my colleague would say because he's got kids but he was a good listener. I'm hoping not many other people will have seen the article and linked him with me.
mabel my partner hasn't been sentenced yet, it will either be end of this month or next month. He's been advised by his barista that the sentence will probably be between 18 months to 2 year hoping it is that because at 1st his solicitor told him 4 years!
mabel my partner hasn't been sentenced yet, it will either be end of this month or next month. He's been advised by his barista that the sentence will probably be between 18 months to 2 year hoping it is that because at 1st his solicitor told him 4 years!
Lost123 I totally agree with you. Its still boiling my blood cause our first article showed up on Police website! And DC said that they are doing everything to keep children in the county safe? Like which ones cause he just made sure that mine were put in risk of harm! My husband yes is guilty but for possession only! Just still makes me very angry how come one person could decide to destroy my kids life. I wonder if ppl who are actually writing online about sex offenders to hang them realise that they will be paying their benefits cause most of them will not be able to get another job. A d if give them a choice to pay for them or not to publish and let them work wonder what would they prwfer!. Im not saying that this offence ia t serious but cant see how pu lication in papers helps to protect anyone!
Aw Flossy, I'm so sorry this is happening. Its infuriating that they give extreme headlines like that. It gets more people reading I suppose, my husband was named as a "baby rapist"for possession of iioc. A friend contacted the site who took it down as it was slander but it had gone to print. I suppose that sells more papers.
It's hard but you can get through it flossy. I hope that this was the worst of it and you can start a future without any grief x
It's hard but you can get through it flossy. I hope that this was the worst of it and you can start a future without any grief x
I too work for a big supermarket chain. I have a wellness meeting about 2 weeks ago and it s was horrendous. Since spoken to the store manager and he felt that it was handled wrong the wellness meeting. Not sure what happens next. I have been into store a few times and it's just all stares and no one talks to me.
I know some customers have aired their view to my colleagues but I cant help that. Just feeling sad at the mo. Xx
I know some customers have aired their view to my colleagues but I cant help that. Just feeling sad at the mo. Xx
REN
Doesn't sounds like they handled it very professionally at all, are u in a union. Suppose I've done as they said played it by ear n not not had any time off, think if I did they might be less understanding ( they hate u having time off even in a crisis like this)
i did ask them for a store transfer but they said it wasn't possible!
suppose it's still early days for me news has just broke, I'm hoping not many people will have seen the story or linked me and him together, that would be my nightmare people gossiping behind my back not willing to say things to my face. Suppose u find out who your true friends are.
Doesn't sounds like they handled it very professionally at all, are u in a union. Suppose I've done as they said played it by ear n not not had any time off, think if I did they might be less understanding ( they hate u having time off even in a crisis like this)
i did ask them for a store transfer but they said it wasn't possible!
suppose it's still early days for me news has just broke, I'm hoping not many people will have seen the story or linked me and him together, that would be my nightmare people gossiping behind my back not willing to say things to my face. Suppose u find out who your true friends are.