Hi, I'm not sure if anyone can help me but I have not spoken to my Dad for 25 years following him being convicted of doctoring photos of a child. The child being a known person to me.

This has followed me for decades. I've told few people and they don't really know what to say so never mention it, I'm not sure they even remember what I said. Most people act as though it never happened. I sometimes feel I'm judged for cutting out my own father. No one wants to know the details so don't understand. Nowadays, very few people know. I generally just don't mention him. It has affected other areas of my life and my personality. I've hit the age my parents were. My daughter is the age of the person involved. It has made me revisit old wounds and rethink everything over once again.

I've seen a few videos on YouTube about how little support there is for families (which led me to this site) and I can tell you, I really wish I had some right at the start. Being 18 I was really very aware and I did insert myself a bit trying to be the protector of siblings when really I was too young. I left home at 19 and I've never been able to process what happened because how do you? I am ok but right now it is on my mind a lot more than it has been for sometime!

I am not sure what I'm asking but I wanted to reach out to others. I expect this is a lot more recent for most on here but if anyone would like to comment or ask questions. If there is anything out there I can try, I am not in the thick of it anymore but it is something I cannot move passed. Thank you :)

Thank you for your replies. I have now booked somewhere to talk to a counsellor but I'm a little bit of a closed book at times. I have not had anyone to talk to for a long time so it's an alien concept to me. As I said, the few people I have spoken more with have not known what to say about it so don't talk about it.

I don't want to concern you regarding your children's futures. I am largely very happy and it if this had not happened I would not have met my husband and had my children. However, it has just hit me more this year and I feel like I need to address some unprocessed wounds. There is an element of grief I guess that has taken me this long to go, woah I also lost a lot too!

My advice though would be to get them talking to others or a counsellor as much as possible to start with so this does not become their "dirty secret". It becomes harder to get help as you get older and especially when you're just used to keeping it to yourself. I was going through my A-Levels and there was a lot of pressure but back then there was nothing regarding mental health or wellbeing. Please use the resources and I hope they find some peace. It is not their burden to carry.