Sentencing date and next steps?
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Hey,
I have posted quite a few times since discovering my persons charges in August. I found out through a notice of charges letter coming in the post. I asked him about it and found out everything. He was arrested before we started a relationship. He was on a risk order to replace bail conditions.
He was initially arrested for speaking to a 15 year old. Police confirmed that he did not reasonably know her age, as she had lied and said she was 18. They dropped them charges, but rearrested him on possession of IIOC. This was between 2023 and 2024.
I then lost my apprenticeship as a social worker student, which my SAR showed was a rash decision based on third party information about me choosing to stay with him and based on my age (I am 20, so i guess that makes me a criminal too?!?)
Anyway, it's been hell, but my life is getting on track, I have a new job as an admin which I love, and I have never been so glad to no longer work in social care!
In September he plead guilty at magistrates and signed the SOR. He had to notify them of my brother who is 17, almost 18 and they referred into Social Care (the same one i used to work for). It's been a month and they never called my mum, despite definitely having my mums and my information from early help involvement we had, so life has carried on for us.
His charges are approx 40 cat C, 28 cat B and 12 cat A. This is making (as he downloaded them) and possession. He also has possession of extreme animal pornography. I was horrid by these charges, as anyone would be.
Context- at the time his mental health was horrendous, and he didn't know how to reach out for support. He was abusing alcohol, and self harming. He viewed this content as it made him hate himself more and made it easier to want to take his own life.
Since then, he has been to therapy multiple times, is medicated, has fully complied with any order or requirements and is in a much better place.
He had his PSR yesterday with a probation officer, who thankfully was lovely and saw that he isn't twisted, but was just in an awful place at the time. He spoke about the remorse he feels and the understanding of what he has done. He fully understands any consequences he will get.
The probation officer is recommending a community order (which I think is the general recommendation they make as I haven't seen anything else on these forums). I know that it is only a recommendation and ultimately comes down to the judge.
Throughout his involvement with police and the court system. He has found everyone to be quite sympathetic, even at the initial interview and arrest stage, where the police officer who took him home told him it will be okay and it doesn't define him.
I have written a character reference and it still needs some edits. I am just waiting to see if his barrister thinks it will help. I hope it will as it will show his true character and the caring responsibilities he has for me (I have ADHD and am awaiting assessment for ASD).
He will be having his psych assessment next week, which may or may not be used depending on whether the barrister thinks it will help in his favour. He has also been told by multiple professionals including his therapist and his allocated officer that it's likely he has ADHD and autism, which has been queried since he was a young child, so I am hoping he will get some answers about that too.
For sentencing, his date has come through today. It will be at the crown court on 7th Dec. His original solicitor said worst case scenario would be 5 years in prison, however no one seems too convinced it will be a immediate sentence. We are hopeful for a community order, however my guess would be a suspended sentence.
It could go either way depending on the judge. Locally, I have seen much higher numbers and more aggravating crimes end up with 6 month suspended sentences, so I am just hoping for some consistency that reflects the mitigating factors and the crimes he committed.
I will encourage him to pack a bag just in case, with his medication, spare clothes, some money and a list of phone numbers just in case. If anything I am hoping the judge will see how seriously he is taking it, and it hopefully will come back home the same day with him.
It's worrying nevertheless. I won't be attending court, as I don't think I could do it, but also want to limit my public association. I can't imagine how awful it will be if I say goodbye and leave for work and he is sent down.
Media is also concerning as we don't want his work to be impacted as that is a positive for him, but also the impacts on his brother and parents works and hobbies could be detrimental. He understands all this and is concerned too.
I just want us to get on with life. It has slowed down so much for us already. If/when we have children will depend on when his SOR time ends, whether we can move out depends on if he has a job, whether we can continue attending his sport is also dependent.
I am just looking forward to this whole ordeal to be over. Fingers crossed there's no push backs with his court date as I just want it finished before Xmas.
If anyone has some words of advice or suggestions for things I may not have thought of, please let me know.
Thank you
I have posted quite a few times since discovering my persons charges in August. I found out through a notice of charges letter coming in the post. I asked him about it and found out everything. He was arrested before we started a relationship. He was on a risk order to replace bail conditions.
He was initially arrested for speaking to a 15 year old. Police confirmed that he did not reasonably know her age, as she had lied and said she was 18. They dropped them charges, but rearrested him on possession of IIOC. This was between 2023 and 2024.
I then lost my apprenticeship as a social worker student, which my SAR showed was a rash decision based on third party information about me choosing to stay with him and based on my age (I am 20, so i guess that makes me a criminal too?!?)
Anyway, it's been hell, but my life is getting on track, I have a new job as an admin which I love, and I have never been so glad to no longer work in social care!
In September he plead guilty at magistrates and signed the SOR. He had to notify them of my brother who is 17, almost 18 and they referred into Social Care (the same one i used to work for). It's been a month and they never called my mum, despite definitely having my mums and my information from early help involvement we had, so life has carried on for us.
His charges are approx 40 cat C, 28 cat B and 12 cat A. This is making (as he downloaded them) and possession. He also has possession of extreme animal pornography. I was horrid by these charges, as anyone would be.
Context- at the time his mental health was horrendous, and he didn't know how to reach out for support. He was abusing alcohol, and self harming. He viewed this content as it made him hate himself more and made it easier to want to take his own life.
Since then, he has been to therapy multiple times, is medicated, has fully complied with any order or requirements and is in a much better place.
He had his PSR yesterday with a probation officer, who thankfully was lovely and saw that he isn't twisted, but was just in an awful place at the time. He spoke about the remorse he feels and the understanding of what he has done. He fully understands any consequences he will get.
The probation officer is recommending a community order (which I think is the general recommendation they make as I haven't seen anything else on these forums). I know that it is only a recommendation and ultimately comes down to the judge.
Throughout his involvement with police and the court system. He has found everyone to be quite sympathetic, even at the initial interview and arrest stage, where the police officer who took him home told him it will be okay and it doesn't define him.
I have written a character reference and it still needs some edits. I am just waiting to see if his barrister thinks it will help. I hope it will as it will show his true character and the caring responsibilities he has for me (I have ADHD and am awaiting assessment for ASD).
He will be having his psych assessment next week, which may or may not be used depending on whether the barrister thinks it will help in his favour. He has also been told by multiple professionals including his therapist and his allocated officer that it's likely he has ADHD and autism, which has been queried since he was a young child, so I am hoping he will get some answers about that too.
For sentencing, his date has come through today. It will be at the crown court on 7th Dec. His original solicitor said worst case scenario would be 5 years in prison, however no one seems too convinced it will be a immediate sentence. We are hopeful for a community order, however my guess would be a suspended sentence.
It could go either way depending on the judge. Locally, I have seen much higher numbers and more aggravating crimes end up with 6 month suspended sentences, so I am just hoping for some consistency that reflects the mitigating factors and the crimes he committed.
I will encourage him to pack a bag just in case, with his medication, spare clothes, some money and a list of phone numbers just in case. If anything I am hoping the judge will see how seriously he is taking it, and it hopefully will come back home the same day with him.
It's worrying nevertheless. I won't be attending court, as I don't think I could do it, but also want to limit my public association. I can't imagine how awful it will be if I say goodbye and leave for work and he is sent down.
Media is also concerning as we don't want his work to be impacted as that is a positive for him, but also the impacts on his brother and parents works and hobbies could be detrimental. He understands all this and is concerned too.
I just want us to get on with life. It has slowed down so much for us already. If/when we have children will depend on when his SOR time ends, whether we can move out depends on if he has a job, whether we can continue attending his sport is also dependent.
I am just looking forward to this whole ordeal to be over. Fingers crossed there's no push backs with his court date as I just want it finished before Xmas.
If anyone has some words of advice or suggestions for things I may not have thought of, please let me know.
Thank you