Overnight
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We got the knock feb 2025 (on my birthday!!). Since then life has just been on hold. His bail keeps getting extended.
I feel like I can't do anything! We have four children so my life is hectic. I'm juggling the house, the kids, trying to find work, having no village to help me. Whilst he's managed to get himself a better job, more pay, lives with his mum so doesn't have to cook, clean his clothes etc etc.
He's not allowed overnight stays even with someone who can supervise, is this the same for everyone?
I really want some flexibility in my life. Everyone I do has to be ran by him and the supervision ???? I'm at breaking point. I need a break. I'm so depressed. I hate life. I love my children, so so much. They deserve better. Mum guilt is hitting me so hard!!
I feel like I can't do anything! We have four children so my life is hectic. I'm juggling the house, the kids, trying to find work, having no village to help me. Whilst he's managed to get himself a better job, more pay, lives with his mum so doesn't have to cook, clean his clothes etc etc.
He's not allowed overnight stays even with someone who can supervise, is this the same for everyone?
I really want some flexibility in my life. Everyone I do has to be ran by him and the supervision ???? I'm at breaking point. I need a break. I'm so depressed. I hate life. I love my children, so so much. They deserve better. Mum guilt is hitting me so hard!!
I've sent you a message x
I could've written this myself.
My baby was born 6 weeks after the knock, op also moved to parents so had zero responsibilities. Was another whole year before ss called me and explained the poluce found nothing and had no evidence to charge(odd situation where he was arrested due to some online company he kept with lady sending iioc to many men within many arrests), They then went on to tell me they still didn't want him having unsupervised access due to his immoral online activity. that was 2 days before I was returning to work after maternity.
2 years where ive had to dramatically reduce my working hours, no ability to pick up overtime. He works shifts so im tied to supervising on his schedule. To top it off he will not push to show hes a safe parent and im honestly too traumatised to invite ss back in myself.
He's been told by ss its a private matter and seek legal advise. ss have never given me anything in writing and by all accounts have just left me to deal with it tk save them the paperwork.
I honestly dont think I'll ever feel at peace with any of it. Who really suffers
My baby was born 6 weeks after the knock, op also moved to parents so had zero responsibilities. Was another whole year before ss called me and explained the poluce found nothing and had no evidence to charge(odd situation where he was arrested due to some online company he kept with lady sending iioc to many men within many arrests), They then went on to tell me they still didn't want him having unsupervised access due to his immoral online activity. that was 2 days before I was returning to work after maternity.
2 years where ive had to dramatically reduce my working hours, no ability to pick up overtime. He works shifts so im tied to supervising on his schedule. To top it off he will not push to show hes a safe parent and im honestly too traumatised to invite ss back in myself.
He's been told by ss its a private matter and seek legal advise. ss have never given me anything in writing and by all accounts have just left me to deal with it tk save them the paperwork.
I honestly dont think I'll ever feel at peace with any of it. Who really suffers
Exactly! Who really suffers?! They did the crime yet we are doing the time.
I'm suffering so much. I get 0 tome to myself, finding a job that works around the kids is proving difficult yet I really really need a job as I've maxed out every credit card now.
I just genuinely don't know what to do or how to move forwards.
I'm suffering so much. I get 0 tome to myself, finding a job that works around the kids is proving difficult yet I really really need a job as I've maxed out every credit card now.
I just genuinely don't know what to do or how to move forwards.
My brother is the offender .. and i have honestly lost count the amount if times i have said they do the crime. We do the time...im only 4 months in .. feels like 4 years.... I honestly dont know how im gonna manage years of this to sentencing.. I hate him for what he has done.. more so to his children and my mother.... I am drowning... its such a lonely world to be in.. ????????
Loula - I feel you!
we are 20 months in and it's definitely the kids that suffer. Whilst he's out earning money, doing overtime, gets meals cooked and his clothes washed. I'm drowning looking after four children 24/7 with very little help and alll very young so none of them have much independence and depend on me for everything!
Im definitely resentful at times!!
we are 20 months in and it's definitely the kids that suffer. Whilst he's out earning money, doing overtime, gets meals cooked and his clothes washed. I'm drowning looking after four children 24/7 with very little help and alll very young so none of them have much independence and depend on me for everything!
Im definitely resentful at times!!