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Mark

Member since
December 2018

1 post

Posted Thu December 6, 2018 12:50amReport post

Hi, we have just found our 35 year old son has possecion of child pornography, he was discovered by his femail partner who has immediately left him.

He has two sisters whoare both involved with children, who have enhanced certificates how will this effect them?

Mmy son has already contacted this site for help and has handed himself into the police i really need advice as to how to keepmyfamily together

Oone daughter has a 5 month old

Edited by moderator Wed February 6, 2019 10:19am

Krissie

Member since
October 2018

57 posts

Posted Thu December 6, 2018 5:51amReport post

Mark im so sorry to hear this, its a horrible feeling and the first few weeks are the hardest with all the unknown. My situation was different as we have a child ourselves so social services got involved straight away which might not happen if your son hasnt got any children.

You need to look at his bail conditions. Wit my ex it stated he couldnt live in a house with anybody under the age of 16 but he could be around children as long as he was supervised by an adult that knew what he had done and he was not allowed to be left alone with any children. You said ypur grandchild is 5 months old, i would add that my daughter is 19 months old (was 11 months when we had the knock) and 1 of the conditions of contact was that he wasnt allowed to change her nappy or be in the room when it was done. So that might be important to enforce as well.

As for your daughters they need to make the decision if they want to be around him and if they dont (especially the 1 with the child) you need to respect that decision. What he has done shouldnt really impact their jobs though. Do their employers need to know? Your daughters shouldnt really be affected work wise. If however they are (as was the case with me) my employers sought a risk assessment and social services and the police were contacted who reassured my employer that I was not involved allowing me to continue in work as normal.

Its a good sign though that he has turned himself in and that he is seeking help that shows hes taking responsibilty for his actions. My experience was that your emotions are all over the police the first few weeks and then you start to settle into a new reality.

Im not sure if youll find any of that helpful but im glad you found this forum as everyone is very supportive and understanding

Krissie

Member since
October 2018

57 posts

Posted Thu December 6, 2018 5:54amReport post

*All over the place sorry not all over the police

nicenana

Member since
March 2019

243 posts

Posted Tue March 12, 2019 9:36pmReport post

Hi.

is there any update in this post. I’m in similar position but can’t work out how to put it up here for advice.

SallyBlue

Member since
March 2019

252 posts

Posted Wed March 13, 2019 10:09pmReport post

Hi Mark, I'm sorry you're going through this. Your daughters will not be affected with their certificates. I am registered to professional bodies for my work with vulnerable adults and children.

As for their children, like others said, check his bail conditions. He may not be allowed unsupervised with them, overnight access and such. Your daughters may not want to have contact with him if it will involve social work.