Pissed off &Angry.
Notifications OFF
Sorry just a rant. I am just starting this
nightmare and the more i look
into it the more i feel i am being punished
For something i did not do. And i am beginning
To get angry and very pissed off. Never
In my life have i had any dealing with the
Police and talk about jumping
In the deep end. My husband has been veryery
Honest ( not the best dinner conversations
I have had) and said last night i wish i had
Known about all the help i could have got
Before the knock. Bit late now aint
It. You seemed to have mastered
the internet to look at IICOs but could not
Look for help. I just cannot understand
Why ! Don't get me wrong the only reason
He is still here is because of his honesty
And i know he needs help and he is getting
It porn addiction and all that but why!
And why should i have to be made to fill
Guilty because lets face it i might as well
Put my name on a sor. Disgust consumes
Me and those poor children , husband is
Struggling now as through talking and
Educating himself he's now seeing these
As children not just imadges. So very needy
right now and sorry all the bloody time.
I.am starting to get the depression,
, addiction etc but i have been and am now
Depressed but did'nt feel the need to
become an addict and look at children.
Yesterday my hb said if it was the other
Way round i would stick by you. Once the cup
Had bounced off his head, i reminded him
In no uncertain terms that it would have
Never happened and not to bring me down
To his level ever again. Then i look in those
eyes and see the hurt and self disgust
and my heart breaks. I am 90% sure i
Will stay one main factor is that we have
No children at home and all the kids are
Supporting us so thats good. And i refuse
Not to have my grandchildren stay over
So he has to leave . its not the same but
It can be done. Sorry for the pity party.
Stay strong the wounderful people xx
nightmare and the more i look
into it the more i feel i am being punished
For something i did not do. And i am beginning
To get angry and very pissed off. Never
In my life have i had any dealing with the
Police and talk about jumping
In the deep end. My husband has been veryery
Honest ( not the best dinner conversations
I have had) and said last night i wish i had
Known about all the help i could have got
Before the knock. Bit late now aint
It. You seemed to have mastered
the internet to look at IICOs but could not
Look for help. I just cannot understand
Why ! Don't get me wrong the only reason
He is still here is because of his honesty
And i know he needs help and he is getting
It porn addiction and all that but why!
And why should i have to be made to fill
Guilty because lets face it i might as well
Put my name on a sor. Disgust consumes
Me and those poor children , husband is
Struggling now as through talking and
Educating himself he's now seeing these
As children not just imadges. So very needy
right now and sorry all the bloody time.
I.am starting to get the depression,
, addiction etc but i have been and am now
Depressed but did'nt feel the need to
become an addict and look at children.
Yesterday my hb said if it was the other
Way round i would stick by you. Once the cup
Had bounced off his head, i reminded him
In no uncertain terms that it would have
Never happened and not to bring me down
To his level ever again. Then i look in those
eyes and see the hurt and self disgust
and my heart breaks. I am 90% sure i
Will stay one main factor is that we have
No children at home and all the kids are
Supporting us so thats good. And i refuse
Not to have my grandchildren stay over
So he has to leave . its not the same but
It can be done. Sorry for the pity party.
Stay strong the wounderful people xx
Lisa, i totally get the anger.
I can kind of get my head around the pond addiction , but the disconnection between what he looked at and the fact they are REAL CHILDREN who’s lives have been destroyed so a grown man can get a buzz fells me with so much anger and disghust.
I get that my ex has suffered horrendous trauma as a child, I get the addiction.,, it’s the lack of compassion for other children’s suffering that I can’t getmy head around.
So im here looking after my autistic adhd son ( from a previous relationship) 7 months pregnant with my ex’s child with zero help. My life’s in tatters and for what?
Must a nightmare, some days are bearable some are a struggle.
Sending you love. Try to be strong. Xx
I can kind of get my head around the pond addiction , but the disconnection between what he looked at and the fact they are REAL CHILDREN who’s lives have been destroyed so a grown man can get a buzz fells me with so much anger and disghust.
I get that my ex has suffered horrendous trauma as a child, I get the addiction.,, it’s the lack of compassion for other children’s suffering that I can’t getmy head around.
So im here looking after my autistic adhd son ( from a previous relationship) 7 months pregnant with my ex’s child with zero help. My life’s in tatters and for what?
Must a nightmare, some days are bearable some are a struggle.
Sending you love. Try to be strong. Xx
Typos! * porn ( god if only it was ponds he was addicted to at least I’d have s nice garden out of it ????)
Maria i get yha sweetie , and i don't have
The added pressure of children expecially
children with extra needs and pregnant
It must be so bloody hard. I am finding it
Hard not to pick up on little things.The day
It happened we where supposed to leave
For a big family funeral , we could not
go so i made excuses ie husband has had
A break down blah blah. It would have
done no good to no one blerting it out.
I know his whole family blamed me , something
Like she haing a tantrum ect. Then when
He finally told gis parents. They thanked me
For not losing my stuff as i do lose my stuff
Over the silliest of things. Then started to
To. Tell family that we where having mental
Health problems. got the right hump
When i made it clear thats they make it clear
That none of this is my doing and to make
Sure they correct it. Don't lay this at my door.
I have already got the whole of society at
My door. God forbid my husband
Could do anything wrong i am the mental one
Apparently. Now do not want anything todo
With them as i can just hear the conversations.
To make matters worse on the day i had to
put up with realtives phoning asking to talk to
Him as if they knew better. I wanted to say
No you cannot speak to him as he is in a cell
Because hes a pedophile. But i did'nt
I lied as ibhave continued to lie . But have
Now decided to look after me but its so hard
When i enjoyed so much with his family
And most of mine are so far away. We moved
To our dream home two years back , nightmear
More like. So sorry for the rant. Keep strong
Sweetie and so many hugs xxxxx
The added pressure of children expecially
children with extra needs and pregnant
It must be so bloody hard. I am finding it
Hard not to pick up on little things.The day
It happened we where supposed to leave
For a big family funeral , we could not
go so i made excuses ie husband has had
A break down blah blah. It would have
done no good to no one blerting it out.
I know his whole family blamed me , something
Like she haing a tantrum ect. Then when
He finally told gis parents. They thanked me
For not losing my stuff as i do lose my stuff
Over the silliest of things. Then started to
To. Tell family that we where having mental
Health problems. got the right hump
When i made it clear thats they make it clear
That none of this is my doing and to make
Sure they correct it. Don't lay this at my door.
I have already got the whole of society at
My door. God forbid my husband
Could do anything wrong i am the mental one
Apparently. Now do not want anything todo
With them as i can just hear the conversations.
To make matters worse on the day i had to
put up with realtives phoning asking to talk to
Him as if they knew better. I wanted to say
No you cannot speak to him as he is in a cell
Because hes a pedophile. But i did'nt
I lied as ibhave continued to lie . But have
Now decided to look after me but its so hard
When i enjoyed so much with his family
And most of mine are so far away. We moved
To our dream home two years back , nightmear
More like. So sorry for the rant. Keep strong
Sweetie and so many hugs xxxxx
Lee1969 thankyou for your reply. I will
Look at the videos and i know this anger
Is just part of the process. I think i am going
To have to except i will never know why ,
As he has no idea why he would do such a
Thing . I am not normally an angry person
So this anger is not good for me or the situation.
I to was abused when younger not sexually
But mentally and phycically and it was my husband
Who got me through , and it was a tough
time in our lives and i thank him for it. So
Its time to help him , the silly thing is he is
A good man who has let himself down so
Very badly , he has lost so much but thats
His punishment and he will have to deal with
It but my heart breaks for him as well as myself
Stay strong you wounderful people you are
My insperation to get through this. Hugsxx
Look at the videos and i know this anger
Is just part of the process. I think i am going
To have to except i will never know why ,
As he has no idea why he would do such a
Thing . I am not normally an angry person
So this anger is not good for me or the situation.
I to was abused when younger not sexually
But mentally and phycically and it was my husband
Who got me through , and it was a tough
time in our lives and i thank him for it. So
Its time to help him , the silly thing is he is
A good man who has let himself down so
Very badly , he has lost so much but thats
His punishment and he will have to deal with
It but my heart breaks for him as well as myself
Stay strong you wounderful people you are
My insperation to get through this. Hugsxx
Sorry lost just seen your post. Thats the thing
They don't get the distruction they course.
Then just when your mending the
Press decide to rub salt in the wounds.
Creating more pain , shame and embarrassment
For the family , judging US as they judge the
Guilty. Keep strong sweetie xx hugs
They don't get the distruction they course.
Then just when your mending the
Press decide to rub salt in the wounds.
Creating more pain , shame and embarrassment
For the family , judging US as they judge the
Guilty. Keep strong sweetie xx hugs
Lee1969 mu husband is worlinh through
The LF stuff and been to the GP , now on
Medication . We cannot afford councilling
So reading , talking and hopfully by talking
To LF he can overcome this addiction.
He has emaild the SSA but as you say
They are closed at the moment , so thays a waiting
Game. But i have seen a change in him
Over the last few weeks and we know we
Have so much more to come . We will
Get through it but its so bloody hard.
Hugs to you all.
The LF stuff and been to the GP , now on
Medication . We cannot afford councilling
So reading , talking and hopfully by talking
To LF he can overcome this addiction.
He has emaild the SSA but as you say
They are closed at the moment , so thays a waiting
Game. But i have seen a change in him
Over the last few weeks and we know we
Have so much more to come . We will
Get through it but its so bloody hard.
Hugs to you all.
Yes we are going to watch them , i started
But then everyone started phoning and lost track
Of time. So tommorow i will look . I must
Say that this forum has been a life saver
For me and is getting me trough this . I
Feel that i have meet some of the strongest
Most amazing women around and i thankyou
All. Xx hugs
But then everyone started phoning and lost track
Of time. So tommorow i will look . I must
Say that this forum has been a life saver
For me and is getting me trough this . I
Feel that i have meet some of the strongest
Most amazing women around and i thankyou
All. Xx hugs
Another thumbs up for the 'Fight the New Drug' videos - they explain so much. My partner cried when he saw them. We NEED more education and openness about this topic in the media.