Having a massive wobble today =(
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Hi all,
I am having a huge wobble today and I can't think about anything else. One of the hunter groups did a sting local to me yesterday and oh my god, Facebook has gone nuts with the vilest comments ever, people are sharing pictures of this guys children and wife and she is getting as much grief as he is. I feel sick thinking of what treatment my children and I will get once this hits social media. This is my main concern about people finding out and the grief my children will get, mainly me eldest Son who is 12. He will never cope with it as he already has anxiety issues. My Husband is under investigation for an online chat with another adult about a child and has a serious porn addiction which is where it all stems from. He is having counselling, has signed up for the Inform Plus course and is really making an effort to be different which I can see and he is like having a whole new man. We aren't together as I am not sure I will ever fully trust him again but nobody will see or understand 1, why he did it and 1, the efforts he has made to be different. He will be labelled a dirty paedophile and that will be that!
This is eating me up inside daily but today, I just feel even more helpless than before.
Not actually sure on why I am typing this here but I just need to get it out before I crack again.
I am having a huge wobble today and I can't think about anything else. One of the hunter groups did a sting local to me yesterday and oh my god, Facebook has gone nuts with the vilest comments ever, people are sharing pictures of this guys children and wife and she is getting as much grief as he is. I feel sick thinking of what treatment my children and I will get once this hits social media. This is my main concern about people finding out and the grief my children will get, mainly me eldest Son who is 12. He will never cope with it as he already has anxiety issues. My Husband is under investigation for an online chat with another adult about a child and has a serious porn addiction which is where it all stems from. He is having counselling, has signed up for the Inform Plus course and is really making an effort to be different which I can see and he is like having a whole new man. We aren't together as I am not sure I will ever fully trust him again but nobody will see or understand 1, why he did it and 1, the efforts he has made to be different. He will be labelled a dirty paedophile and that will be that!
This is eating me up inside daily but today, I just feel even more helpless than before.
Not actually sure on why I am typing this here but I just need to get it out before I crack again.
I feel your pain. I too am having a huge wobble today after feeling so strong and confident yesterday. I asked for more details about the chat my partner had and it set me off. I am still with my partner and we will see how it goes staying together but my god this is going to take some strength to get through. My partner has a porn chat addiction, but how the hell he ended up chatting with someone underage and why who would do that is just killing me inside today. Im worried about how i will be viewed and how life will be if people find out. That poor woman and her kid's being treated like that. I have no symphathy for paeophiles but i do not agree with vigilanties eitger. Just remember we are strong, we can get through this for us and for our kids. Press stuff as horrible as it is, people will move onto the next story in a few days or weeks. Im going to think about how to avoid attention if that happens and put in place support. Remember it may never hapoen, try not to worry to much that case you read about locally is the extreme.
Hi KLK. My husband was all over social media after appearing at court. We were advised to come off social media not long after the knock to avoid people being able to access photos or personal details and posting. So I would advise you to remove yourselvea from social media. My kids and I are still in the same house and have not received any negativity from the community. It hit the media in June. We're still here until I sort my head out and see what the new plan from SS will be be. So as a positive note I am still safe with my children.
yes I came off of social media when it happened as these stings and media reports are rife in our area right now so seeing it was too hard knowing that would be me next year. However, the second I listed to spotify it re-activated again and I was missing too much info with the kids out of school clubs etc but it's deactivated again now.
The posts I was talking about yesterday have been removed and the police in my area are trying to get the page closed down as it does more harm than good. If these groups are going to do posts then why not have the Stop it nows contact number and logo on them. I bet there are thousands of offenders who watch these and if given the opportunity to know there is help out there they'd take it. I know my Husband would have. Unfortunately, these groups seem to be about the exposure of catching offenders and to be recognised for their work rather than helping others which ultimately will help victims in the long run.
The posts I was talking about yesterday have been removed and the police in my area are trying to get the page closed down as it does more harm than good. If these groups are going to do posts then why not have the Stop it nows contact number and logo on them. I bet there are thousands of offenders who watch these and if given the opportunity to know there is help out there they'd take it. I know my Husband would have. Unfortunately, these groups seem to be about the exposure of catching offenders and to be recognised for their work rather than helping others which ultimately will help victims in the long run.
Is it inevitable that people will find out? That’s my biggest fear! I’m going to come off social media now and suggest my husband does the same, if it doesn’t go to court and it’s just a caution would people still find out? This has really scared me now
No i dont think its inevitable that people will find out. It is possible to go through court wirhout anyone finding out. If its a caution (i dont think cautions are often used for sexual offences) then no one will know unless you tell them or in a criminal record check.
My husbands case went to court and there was no publicity. Nobody other than people I have told know about it. A handful of my family know, my closest trusted friends and about a dozen or so people that I work with. His friends and co workers are unaware of the circumstances, they know he is in prison but they dont know why.
It is possible to get all the way through without people finding out. And the ones that have found out with me have been nothing but sympathetic. Its meant that in work people dont ask me when Im having another baby anymore or asking about my relationship.
I was worried about it getting out for the sake of my daughter but I know I have been lucky that it didnt. So even if it goes to court and theres prison time it doesnt mean people will find out
It is possible to get all the way through without people finding out. And the ones that have found out with me have been nothing but sympathetic. Its meant that in work people dont ask me when Im having another baby anymore or asking about my relationship.
I was worried about it getting out for the sake of my daughter but I know I have been lucky that it didnt. So even if it goes to court and theres prison time it doesnt mean people will find out
My husband deactivated his fb account the day he went to court. However whilst it wasn't on social media, it was in our local paper but no pictures. I thought a journalist would have been at the court but my husband said that the court can pass on info to press if they feel it's in the public interest. Also our address was mentioned but only a few people knew our fairly new address. I never read the newspaper articles until I got my husband to read it recently incase SS questioned me about it or about what was written about him. The worst for me was when I was driving to Hobbycraft she webt past a newsagents and there sign advertising the paper was Local father of two grooms kids online. He was never charged with grooming as they could find no attempt to coerce online. The newspaper bit wasn't big either she several pages in so I thought it was awful that they used the story to sell papers.
I'm writing on my phone so sorry my words aren't coming out correctly.
I feel bad as a very small article got in the paper but they managed to get a photo off my Facebook page :(