Friend's husband under investigation
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Hi there
Not sure if this is the type of post allowed but looking for advice please. I've recently found out that our friend's husband is under investigation for sexual offences against children. Even without this shocking news, we know him to be a calculating and manipulative man so we're deeply upset to know that she's now struggling not to support him as he 'needs' her.
Her family don't know she's still in contact with him as younger members of the family have been traumatised. What is making me sick is she's now in lockdown due to the coronavirus and is blocking it all out. Luckily he's not living in the family home at the moment but still in contact and while this is going on she said there's too much in her head for her to seek help or confront what's going on.
I'm concerned for her mental health as she's had years of burying everything and this has just added to that pile. I'm trying to stay calm as she's my friend but I want to throw up when I hear some of the words as I can't comprehend her thinking of being his support as she doesn't want his reputation and career to be tarnished. Head is mashed!
She might come across such a forum as she could be looking for advice, if so I'm not sorry for posting as it's her wellbeing we're concerned for.
Advice is much appreciated x
Not sure if this is the type of post allowed but looking for advice please. I've recently found out that our friend's husband is under investigation for sexual offences against children. Even without this shocking news, we know him to be a calculating and manipulative man so we're deeply upset to know that she's now struggling not to support him as he 'needs' her.
Her family don't know she's still in contact with him as younger members of the family have been traumatised. What is making me sick is she's now in lockdown due to the coronavirus and is blocking it all out. Luckily he's not living in the family home at the moment but still in contact and while this is going on she said there's too much in her head for her to seek help or confront what's going on.
I'm concerned for her mental health as she's had years of burying everything and this has just added to that pile. I'm trying to stay calm as she's my friend but I want to throw up when I hear some of the words as I can't comprehend her thinking of being his support as she doesn't want his reputation and career to be tarnished. Head is mashed!
She might come across such a forum as she could be looking for advice, if so I'm not sorry for posting as it's her wellbeing we're concerned for.
Advice is much appreciated x
Hi its good you reached out for your friend.
As i understand your friends husband is
Not living at her address so this will give
Her space. She is lucky to have a friend
Who is willing to help and support her. This
Is a very big emotional upset and will take
A while for her to get her head around.
Keep talking and supporting and try toget
Her to see her gp and work with this foundation
I have uaed this forum for support and guidance
And its great. Myself and my husband
Are working through the modules and
Talking to the LF support workers. Give them
A ring they will guide you. Also what has he
Been arrested for as the word pedophile is
Very broad. Do they hace children as this
Will involve SS so another challenge.
Hugs sweetie keep strong.
Ps the people on here are great and very
Supportive .
As i understand your friends husband is
Not living at her address so this will give
Her space. She is lucky to have a friend
Who is willing to help and support her. This
Is a very big emotional upset and will take
A while for her to get her head around.
Keep talking and supporting and try toget
Her to see her gp and work with this foundation
I have uaed this forum for support and guidance
And its great. Myself and my husband
Are working through the modules and
Talking to the LF support workers. Give them
A ring they will guide you. Also what has he
Been arrested for as the word pedophile is
Very broad. Do they hace children as this
Will involve SS so another challenge.
Hugs sweetie keep strong.
Ps the people on here are great and very
Supportive .
Hello, it is good you are looking out for your friend. I have been in her situation and it's horrible. All I can suggest is that you be there for her. You dont have to like her husband or show any interest in him what so ever. I lost most of my friends during this process which was really difficult. Try to stay by her whatever her desicion as you never know how you would react if you were in her position. Before my husband was arrested I wa adamant if he ever was involved in anything like this I would leave him. It's different when it actually happens.
Be there when you can as she will really need a friend x
Be there when you can as she will really need a friend x
Hi Ladies
Sorry for the delay, there's a lot been going on. Just to let you know more of the group knows what's happening now so there's more people to call and support. She's stopped talking about it now and will change the subject but I think there's elements of hope but then two steps back. We're just trying to be patient. She refuses to get any help as lockdown isn't the time apparently. We're concerned but at least he's not there for now.
Appreciate coming back to me even with your own challenges. Hope whatever decisions you make are for you. Thanks and take care x
Sorry for the delay, there's a lot been going on. Just to let you know more of the group knows what's happening now so there's more people to call and support. She's stopped talking about it now and will change the subject but I think there's elements of hope but then two steps back. We're just trying to be patient. She refuses to get any help as lockdown isn't the time apparently. We're concerned but at least he's not there for now.
Appreciate coming back to me even with your own challenges. Hope whatever decisions you make are for you. Thanks and take care x