Family and Friends Forum

Sjp88

Member since
October 2019

26 posts

Posted Sat April 4, 2020 3:46amReport post

So, Thursday is my ex husband's sentencing.

He is already serving on remand (where I live they tend to charge straight away, then investigate whilst they are either on bail or remand - and for various reasons he was remanded).

Sentences over here as well tend to be a bit stiffer than I've seen the the UK (not that the locals realise it, from searching online I've only seen one suspended and no community sentences).

He is expecting about 16 months. He has served 6. There is no automatic parole or whatever it is called where only half the sentence is served. But he may well apply for it.

There is nothing good about the coronavirus but one of the positives is that we are in lockdown and I don't believe any of the journalists will be there (the person who usually covers the court is in self isolation and happens to be a friend.... awkward). So I'm praying it doesn't get covered in the media as it has already been featured 7 times in the local press (every few weeks he was back in court for the investigating officers to say "not finished yet" and he would be further remanded).

I am dreading it but also so relieved it will be over and I can hopefully sigh relief at just knowing what the final outcome is.

Unfortunately because of the lock down I can't be there which means I will have to ring the courts to find out the outcome and also pay for a recording of the hearing (on CD which I can't play because the police still have my bloody computers which he had used so I volunteered them to be searched.... thankfully clean but I can't have them back yet).



He has no home to go to, an empty bank account, no job, he is pretty skill-less and no qualifications. We live in a small community and he was well known by a lot of people. I can't honestly see how he is going to cope or survive and that makes me really fearful. He would actually be best off serving his full sentence in my opinion.

The children will also have to live with this stigma as they grow up in this community.

Some days I talk to him on the phone (when he rings to speak to the children) and it's like talking to an old friend. Other days I just can't even speak to him. I have come to dread the calls.



I have a feeling the next 5 days or so are going to be very very long. No point to this post over than a nearly 4am brain dump to be honest. :(

majestictopaz15

Member since
December 2019

371 posts

Posted Sat April 4, 2020 4:51pmReport post

Could you ask if the cd can be played on a dvd player? If you have one? Or of you have a smart TV with a usb you might have to supply a stick for them to add the recording.

Sjp88

Member since
October 2019

26 posts

Posted Sun April 5, 2020 3:31pmReport post

Bugger bugger bugger. It has been put back to 17th. Urgh. I was getting myself psyched up.



I have no DVD player but ultimately I'm sure I can find a way of listening to it even if I have to borrow something from someone.

Lisajt1973

Member since
March 2020

29 posts

Posted Mon April 6, 2020 12:48pmReport post

Keep strong sweetie xxxx

Sjp88

Member since
October 2019

26 posts

Posted Fri April 10, 2020 8:50pmReport post

Well he has called me today from prison. The prosecution are recommending a starting point of 18 months. 1/3 off for early guilty plea would take it to 11.5 months. He has served 6 months on remand which is worth double and so he has potentially served his sentence. He has had probation in speaking to him about where to put him (he is homeless).

I'm not ready for any of this. I'm not ready to think about how contact will work or to worry where he is sleeping (even though he is my ex I dont want to see him on the street).

Friday cannot come quick enough and I'm hoping for a more lengthy sentence. I know that goes against the grain as many people here are still with their partners. But it's just how I feel.

Totalyheartbroken

Member since
April 2020

97 posts

Posted Sat April 11, 2020 6:20pmReport post

Hugs sweetie xx

Sjp88

Member since
October 2019

26 posts

Posted Thu April 16, 2020 9:49pmReport post

So I counted down again to tomorrow for the delayed sentencing and had a call this afternoon.... delayed again to next week.

The regulations are not yet in place in my jurisdiction for sentencing by live link and they are waiting for that. I spoke to his solicitor and she objected to the adjournment and made the case for the sentencing to take place in person but it was denied.



We have no limitations over here for how long somoen can be held in remand before sentencing where as in mainland uk they do.



Aaaaggghhh. Living on the edge of my nerves :(

Sjp88

Member since
October 2019

26 posts

Posted Sat April 25, 2020 12:13pmReport post

So he was sentenced yesterday to 14m plus 2 years extended licence. So he will be out in may as he has served 6.5 months on remand and the rest of the time on licence and then 2 years extra on licence.



10 year sexual harm prevention order

10 year SOR

10 year travel notification (not mainland UK. so can't travel off the island we live on without telling the police more tha 24 hours ahead and they can prevent travel)

Forfeiture of devices BUT the AG's office and high tech crime unit agreeable to my request via his solicitor that I can have the family photos if I pay costs associated)



I'm glad this part is over



He has a lot of challenges, he will be leaving prison jobless, homeless, friendless and in a community where it has been heavily publicised. He has pretty much lost his family too although I will facilitate supervised contact for the children's benefit

Tutleymutley

Member since
November 2019

104 posts

Posted Sun April 26, 2020 12:43amReport post

Harsh result for you all, but at least there's no more unknown and you know exactly what you are dealing with. The ramifications of this offence are endless. Sigh.