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How do you all cope!!

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Unknown89

Member since
April 2020

4 posts

Posted Wed April 8, 2020 5:31pmReport post

This time last week my life was in my eyes absolutely perfect. 6 month old baby and me and my partner happy.



then the police turned up and we were told that my partner was being investigated for suspicious activity on our internet server. This spiralling into it meaning my partner has been seeing indecent images online. I feel like my whole life has completely gone up in flames. And my everyday life as I know. Has now been completely spiralled and messed up.



im awaiting social services to come and do a safeguarding plan as am currently still at home with my partner and baby.



I guess I'm asking what happens next. I'm terrified my partner is going to be told to get out of the family home. I'm terrified it'll end in a prison sentence.



my emotions. My hormones and my heart are breaking and I guess I just need some sort of recognition that I'm not alone.



sorry for the lengthy post. X

Totalyheartbroken

Member since
April 2020

97 posts

Posted Wed April 8, 2020 5:58pmReport post

HHi sweetie,

To start you have found this place and

Thats brill. Read some of the older posts

When you feel up to it . But you must take care

Of YOU and take it one day at a time. I myself

have only been on here 5 weeks and it feels

Like a life line. The ladys on here will give

you so much support. You are going togo

through every emotion at the moment

let it happen. You and your partner must

communicate ( if thats what you want). It has

helped me. Stay around this forum even if

you don't post anything. And phone the

help line they are brill and get your partner

to phone them , they will help xx Hugs sweetie xx

Ann P

Member since
February 2020

169 posts

Posted Wed April 8, 2020 6:04pmReport post

Hi Unknown 89

I feel for you right now. I'm sending you a massive hug. I hope you've been able to ring the helpline, if not, please do, they are fantastic both for you and your partner. Keep checking in on this forum, everyone is incredibly supportive and never judgemental. Breathe, nothing will happen quickly. Try to take one step at a time. Get your partner to talk if you can. He will also he feeling shattered. It's early days, just hold on. X

Unknown89

Member since
April 2020

4 posts

Posted Wed April 8, 2020 7:00pmReport post

Thank you both so much for your reply. I guess I'm just overcome with emotion and worry at the moment. As I'm sure you guys are or have been through.



I spoke to a lovely lady today on the phone. Yet am not sure whether I feel better or worse after having had a conversation. If that makes any sense.



do either of you have children? Have your partners had to move out. Also 5 weeks down the line. How are your feelings now? What are you doing to pass the time. I feel like I'm counting down the hours till bed time most days xx

Tabs

Member since
November 2019

501 posts

Posted Wed April 8, 2020 7:39pmReport post

Unknown89, I am so sorry you find yourself here. A place no-one wants to be or even knew about.

Firstly, take good care of yourself and your baby. I don’t have children or grandchildren and husband had to leave home straight away as he was caught in vigilante sting. I felt it was like a bereavement for me and found it hard to function at all. I went through, and continue to go through, all the stages of grief. But most of all was the total shock. It came out of no-where. I thought everything was perfect too. It turns out

on -line chat and sexual images were his way of dealing with his hidden stress and emotional damage. So outwardly all looked well. But he had found his drug to manage his feelings.....I knew nothing of it. That still hurts, that he didn’t tell me or ask me for help.

There is a lot of support here. Some of the ladies have children including Babies, some are pregnant. Some stay with their partners, some leave, some ore forced apart.

I have found so much support through posting and also reading others stories. It helps to know there are others in the same situation, more than you’d ever know. It’s a hidden secret.

Take care. x

Marie.D

Member since
February 2020

109 posts

Posted Wed April 8, 2020 7:50pmReport post

Just wanted to send you a virtual hug.The early days are horrific. I’m so sorry you are going through this too.

I found out early feb. Like you I thought my life was perfect: in love, baby on the way,about to move in together.

Call the helpline and just try to take things day By day. You can cope if you just focus on one thing at a time. It’s like a nightmare, but it gets easier. I didn’t believe it would but it does. Come here as often as you need to. You won’t be judged and we are all suffering in similar ways. Xx

Totalyheartbroken

Member since
April 2020

97 posts

Posted Wed April 8, 2020 8:19pmReport post

No my children have left home so i don't

have that to worry about. I to thought i had

everything i could ask for , money was tight

but all good. But the knock changed everything

remember this has nothing todo with you.

Hugs sweetie xx