Birth and child protection plans. LONG POST!
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Hello and happy easter everyone,
The short version of my story, is that my husband is awaiting trial for making and downloading 30 cp images, in what has been the worst two years or so of my life. He has a porn addiction that unfortunately (I personally believe, please do not judge) was nothing to do with cp at all and just unfortunate massive downloading of porn that brought these images down. There are varying degrees of proof to this and I am not trying to belittle what has happened at all because its abhorrent to me and the trust is issue... but....
I am 25 weeks pregnant, on a child protection plan due to our situation (it was CIN but the cs said that because it had gone on for so long it needed to be escalated to CP) and I am feeling really anxious because of the way that CPP is looking to shape the way I have the baby.
The situation is actually not caused by me, and I have stayed with my husband throughout as he fights this case. The two day trial is in august (not cancelled due to covid) and my due date is 23rd July, and I am constantly told i have to do this pregnancy a certain way. It's so invasive. I had a pre birth conference which automatically out the baby onto CPP, and have been told I have to have my baby in a hospital.
Now, I am fine with having the baby in a hospital... but I feel that the CPP has completely ruined the pregnancy for me as I am so anxious about my loss of control ( I have two previous labours that were very traumatic) and all I want is to have some control back.
Can anyone help with stories of how they fared in birth on a child protection plan? Was your husband or partner allowed in, what was it like having it hanging over your head?
What happened after when baby was born re:contact (I have two other children and am incredibly frightened they will lower contact time due to me being exhausted as a new mum when I need his support the most there). We have obeyed every single rule and line they have given us and have a perfect record, we are in dorset and just transferring from wiltshire to Dorset LA so I am hoping for a more family oriented circle of safety.
I am just so anxious about it all.
Sorry about the wall of text! Any advice or support is appreciated.
The short version of my story, is that my husband is awaiting trial for making and downloading 30 cp images, in what has been the worst two years or so of my life. He has a porn addiction that unfortunately (I personally believe, please do not judge) was nothing to do with cp at all and just unfortunate massive downloading of porn that brought these images down. There are varying degrees of proof to this and I am not trying to belittle what has happened at all because its abhorrent to me and the trust is issue... but....
I am 25 weeks pregnant, on a child protection plan due to our situation (it was CIN but the cs said that because it had gone on for so long it needed to be escalated to CP) and I am feeling really anxious because of the way that CPP is looking to shape the way I have the baby.
The situation is actually not caused by me, and I have stayed with my husband throughout as he fights this case. The two day trial is in august (not cancelled due to covid) and my due date is 23rd July, and I am constantly told i have to do this pregnancy a certain way. It's so invasive. I had a pre birth conference which automatically out the baby onto CPP, and have been told I have to have my baby in a hospital.
Now, I am fine with having the baby in a hospital... but I feel that the CPP has completely ruined the pregnancy for me as I am so anxious about my loss of control ( I have two previous labours that were very traumatic) and all I want is to have some control back.
Can anyone help with stories of how they fared in birth on a child protection plan? Was your husband or partner allowed in, what was it like having it hanging over your head?
What happened after when baby was born re:contact (I have two other children and am incredibly frightened they will lower contact time due to me being exhausted as a new mum when I need his support the most there). We have obeyed every single rule and line they have given us and have a perfect record, we are in dorset and just transferring from wiltshire to Dorset LA so I am hoping for a more family oriented circle of safety.
I am just so anxious about it all.
Sorry about the wall of text! Any advice or support is appreciated.
Hello
I gave birth to my son who was already on a child protection plan before he was born. The reason he was on a CPP was because I did not (and still do not) believe my husband was a risk to him. This made me not a protective parent in SS eyes hence the CPP. My husband was convicted and sentenced while I was pregnant.
My husband was allowed to be there for labour and the actual birth however, as soon as our son was born he had to leave. He was not allowed back on to the ward with us (to keep our son ‘safe’ and supposedly to keep other babies safe, not that he would be a risk anyway!). We knew he would have to leave once our son was born however, nothing was actually said to me or my husband throughout the labour and birth, in fact nothing was said to me at all. The midwife who was looking after us was the one who told my husband to leave (I don’t know exactly what she said but I know she upset my husband so I imagine she wasn’t exactly nice).
Me and my son ended up staying in hospital for 5 days and my husband was not allowed to visit us.
I don’t know if this is standard protocol when an unborn baby is on a CPP but this was my experience. If you would like to know anything more about my experience/situation, feel free to message me on Mumsnet. My username is Ember94.
Take care x
I gave birth to my son who was already on a child protection plan before he was born. The reason he was on a CPP was because I did not (and still do not) believe my husband was a risk to him. This made me not a protective parent in SS eyes hence the CPP. My husband was convicted and sentenced while I was pregnant.
My husband was allowed to be there for labour and the actual birth however, as soon as our son was born he had to leave. He was not allowed back on to the ward with us (to keep our son ‘safe’ and supposedly to keep other babies safe, not that he would be a risk anyway!). We knew he would have to leave once our son was born however, nothing was actually said to me or my husband throughout the labour and birth, in fact nothing was said to me at all. The midwife who was looking after us was the one who told my husband to leave (I don’t know exactly what she said but I know she upset my husband so I imagine she wasn’t exactly nice).
Me and my son ended up staying in hospital for 5 days and my husband was not allowed to visit us.
I don’t know if this is standard protocol when an unborn baby is on a CPP but this was my experience. If you would like to know anything more about my experience/situation, feel free to message me on Mumsnet. My username is Ember94.
Take care x
Hi
I also gave birth to my son in CP plan. During my pre birth assessment we were on CIN plan with no mention about husband to leave the home after our son will born however 10 days before my due date SW came with her manager and said this now will be a CPP and husband have to leave the house and he will not be allowed in hospital. We ask them why it become a CPP now so reason goven was that previous SW did it wrong. It was meant to be CPP no other reasons than this.
ANext morning i called mu midwife ans explained her the situation and she then push SS to make a hospital plan. The plan was that my hb is allowed during labour and once i move to ward he can be their but my mom needs to supervise him all the time. But this didn't work. After my son born midwife ask my husband to leave and said this is what SS ask her to do this. Husband showed her the plan due she wasn't conceived. I ended up in a hospital for 8 days and husband didn't saw our son during that time. But remember we are strong and we are doing everything right. You can do this.
I also gave birth to my son in CP plan. During my pre birth assessment we were on CIN plan with no mention about husband to leave the home after our son will born however 10 days before my due date SW came with her manager and said this now will be a CPP and husband have to leave the house and he will not be allowed in hospital. We ask them why it become a CPP now so reason goven was that previous SW did it wrong. It was meant to be CPP no other reasons than this.
ANext morning i called mu midwife ans explained her the situation and she then push SS to make a hospital plan. The plan was that my hb is allowed during labour and once i move to ward he can be their but my mom needs to supervise him all the time. But this didn't work. After my son born midwife ask my husband to leave and said this is what SS ask her to do this. Husband showed her the plan due she wasn't conceived. I ended up in a hospital for 8 days and husband didn't saw our son during that time. But remember we are strong and we are doing everything right. You can do this.
Sorry for the typos.