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so we are 1 week and 1 day from the knock. I'm in a much clearer head space now but hubby remains bailed away from the home and struggling with his mental health to the point he cant hear my voice at the moment as it will set him back. I know he needs space to get to the right place and I've written to him to say I'm here and I'm with him. The helpline have told both of us that if the arrest is for the one incident he has opened up about then its a minor offence and the time that has passed and support that he has and will access will all help him understand why he acted the way he did and show he doesn't see it as a way he wanted to take his life. I just wondered, I know mental health is a worry for those arrested but has anyone been through similar where they have had to wait to be able to talk to their partners and how long should I allow. I know how long is a piece of string! He is under crisis MH team for daily support for another week so I'm kind of hoping come the end of that we may be able to talk.
Hope everyone is having an OK time at the moment xx
Hope everyone is having an OK time at the moment xx
Hi
13th of feb for me, the first month we were in total shock, so a week in for you hasnt really regestered for you both yet, my son is also on the crisis team as he tried to take his own life , you need to make sure he has anti depressents , they take about 4 to 6 weeks to work but trust me they help. you need to take one day at a time,you will have different emotions each day. two months in i do feel better in my self,but with the covid-19 everything is put back,my son's bail is due on the 11th of may but i know it will be delayed again. it's so frustraiting you just want it all to be over but the process takes months and months, we are all in the same poition on this forum,you're not alone. Look back at older posts this can answer some of your questions you may need.
sorry you have joined the club xxx
13th of feb for me, the first month we were in total shock, so a week in for you hasnt really regestered for you both yet, my son is also on the crisis team as he tried to take his own life , you need to make sure he has anti depressents , they take about 4 to 6 weeks to work but trust me they help. you need to take one day at a time,you will have different emotions each day. two months in i do feel better in my self,but with the covid-19 everything is put back,my son's bail is due on the 11th of may but i know it will be delayed again. it's so frustraiting you just want it all to be over but the process takes months and months, we are all in the same poition on this forum,you're not alone. Look back at older posts this can answer some of your questions you may need.
sorry you have joined the club xxx
Hi I'm nearly two weeks in, and have to say I am coping a little better. My son is due charging in May also but we understand it could be delayed. I felt so depressed, like a bereavement, not eating , sleeping but trying to support other family me,bees, keep my job going and running a home. We have now sought legal advice, but until he is charged we are in limbo. How did we end up here? How am I even talking on this site? It's all so surreal, a nightmare we arnt going to wake from. My son is actively seeking help and support to stop doing what he was, he is on the sick from work, but unsure whether to tell them (it's not with or anywhere near children) but we are advising holding off, as once said, you can't go back. Good luck to you both, you have to know you have done nothing wrong. We are still the same lovely people, just been dealt a tough hand xx
Luxy I'm so sorry you are here.
This is a sureal time as it is I honestly keep wishing ill wake from this nightmare. But its not happened yet!
All we can do is take each day as it comes and pray that things don't drag on forever but one thing I'm learning is that doesn't seem to happen.
On the plus I saw my hubby today 2 weeks since the knock when I last saw him. It has helped to talk, to be in each others company. His mental health and self loathing is more concerning to me than the thing he did two and a half years ago. I believe his account and have no reason to doubt him at this point but its opened a Pandora box in his head and some deeply hidden trauma has come out for him.about his childhood which he had no conscious memory of until now, its a tough time but I'm feeling strong for both of us.
We here are all managing things we didn't chose and every one of us have differences in our situations which impacts on our decisions but I'm so glad I found this space to share, I feel much less lonely in all of this xx
This is a sureal time as it is I honestly keep wishing ill wake from this nightmare. But its not happened yet!
All we can do is take each day as it comes and pray that things don't drag on forever but one thing I'm learning is that doesn't seem to happen.
On the plus I saw my hubby today 2 weeks since the knock when I last saw him. It has helped to talk, to be in each others company. His mental health and self loathing is more concerning to me than the thing he did two and a half years ago. I believe his account and have no reason to doubt him at this point but its opened a Pandora box in his head and some deeply hidden trauma has come out for him.about his childhood which he had no conscious memory of until now, its a tough time but I'm feeling strong for both of us.
We here are all managing things we didn't chose and every one of us have differences in our situations which impacts on our decisions but I'm so glad I found this space to share, I feel much less lonely in all of this xx
I'm so pleased this is something that comes out for others. The police asked my hubby if he wanted it pursued but the perp is dead. On the one hand that's good but on the other I worry there will always be questions for him about whether there were others etc. Did your husband worry if there was other memories he'd suppressed? That's one of the things mine said and I'm not sure how hd will manage if more cones out.