Family and Friends Forum

Hi Nonna, i'm also the mum of an internet offender, our Knock was nearly 3 years ago, i really do feel your pain and only beginning to get some normality back, to say i was traumatised was an understatement, i was completely consumed by it and sometimes still am, i'm here for you if there's anything i can do or say i will, our case didn't get to the media or papers ect which i'm truely thankful but family have not been very supportive, my husband has been great plus a few others, my son is doing quite well really and finished his SO programme end of October which he says has really helped him and i've had so much counselling and on antidepressants and do have some good days, well done for posting on the forum, thats a big step which i found hard aswell, nobody wants to be in this group but circircumstances have chosen us, lots of (((hugs))) Nonna x

Hi Nonna,

I am not a parent of an offender but a wife but just wanted to say I am glad you have found this forum, it's a fantastic place to be and the support is unreal.



x

Hi Nonna, so sorry that yours hit the news but people do forget, it becomes old news when something new comes into the headlines. Glad your son is working as it will do him good and make him feel part of the human race, my son is working too and he feels better for it, i understand your thoughts about what how your sons future has panned out, nobody can predict whats going to happen, this ate me up for a long time but now i know we cannot predict what is going to happen to us so i take the days as they come, it's easier and less stressful. I know we like to try and advise them but they are grown men, my son doesn't mind talking about it sometimes and he's happy to discuss how he's feeling, maybe your son would be more confortable yalking to a counsellor or probation officer if he does need to express himself. I know Christmas is not the same but i do find some happiness as my son comes to us for Christmas and i see my other daughter and grandchildren, my other daughter refuses to speak to me or my son but i cannot tell her what to do and she is entitled to her opinion and thats fair i think, i miss her terribly and hope one day she may come back to us. Keep chatting to us on here, everyone is lovely and it's good for you if you have someone to confide in who will not judge you or your son, i'm also a member of the "StopSO support forumn" for friends and family, everyone there is lovely and kind aswell, try and look it up if you can, it's on Google groups and you need yo ask to be come a member, thats a very active group aswell, big bear hugs xx

Hi Nonna, just to explain, you didn't do anything wrong, i tortured myself for forever with these thoughts but i know it's nothing we did. It happened and i have accepted i didn't do anything to make him do it, i know thats not easy and hard to accept but we have to in our own way and i'm sure your son doesn't blame you, my son certainly doesn't, although i wished i'd noticed how bad his depression and anxiety were as i suffer with it myself, now we check in on each other and i say to him " please tell me if you feel low, i can help you" and he knows that, i think we are much more open with each other now, Love H...x

Hi Hazel

was interested to hear there is another active support forum on Google groups called StopSO support forum, but for the life of me can’t find it. Can you explain how you did?

Many thanks

Paula xx

https://stopso.org.uk/stopso-support-for-families/

Thankyou KLK for the link to the "StopSO family and friends forum" hope others find this useful as i have, we all need as much support as we can get and both these 2 forums are a godsend to many. When we first had the "Knock" there was hardly any support for myself except the Stopitnow helpline who i cannot thank enough for what they did for me x

Thank you KLK for the link to the StopSOwebsite.

Paula