the knock
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thursday 30th April, a ring of the doorbell and my husband invited 2 women upstairs. obviously I now know they were police officers, he confessed immediately and they took him, his phone and the pc tower away. He has told me, and our adult children what he is guilty of. I've asked detailed questions about the images, he says he was honest from the outset with the police, gave them passwords etc. It has come as a total shock, I was aware that he watched porn but had no idea that he was capaple of this type of thing. we're all in total shock. He rang the STOPIT NOW helpline the next morning, has started doing the modules and has made an appointment with a counsellor. i have also spoken to the helpline and have been reading the forum, but I really don't know what will happen next, I'm really scared of people finding out I can't look anyone in the eye. I'm certain he has never been a threat to any child in a direct way but people won't understand that. I need help to understand all that is to come, please.I don't know what else to say or ask.
Hi Angie
Sorry you have joined us but you will get nothing but support on here and the ladies are fantastic. I had the knock in March and bloody hell it knocked me off my feet . Norhing is going to happen straight away , so take some time to yourself . You will/ are going togo through more emotions than you thought you knew , let it happen. Your hb sounds like mine and has been honest and got help as soon as he could . A good book to read is the porn trap. Myself and my hb are reading it now and find it very good. You have phoned LF , stop it now. Please make sure any counciling you have are expert in this field LF can advise. I found it helpful to read past posts, i found a lot of answers to. Hugs
Sorry you have joined us but you will get nothing but support on here and the ladies are fantastic. I had the knock in March and bloody hell it knocked me off my feet . Norhing is going to happen straight away , so take some time to yourself . You will/ are going togo through more emotions than you thought you knew , let it happen. Your hb sounds like mine and has been honest and got help as soon as he could . A good book to read is the porn trap. Myself and my hb are reading it now and find it very good. You have phoned LF , stop it now. Please make sure any counciling you have are expert in this field LF can advise. I found it helpful to read past posts, i found a lot of answers to. Hugs
PS go to your GP mine was great.
Hi Angie, it's OK now, you're not alone. There is always support, advice and help available here. We all know exactly how you're feeling. Your husband sounds like he's started taking steps to sort this. You should use the helpline they are great. My GP was also so sympathetic early on, gave me sleeping tablets for a little while and just listened.
Nothing will happen very quickly. We were advised early on to tell as few people as possible. Once it's decided whether to charge him, there may be people you have to tell, or want to tell. But you don't have to tell anyone now.
Try to look after yourself and pop back on here for support.
Nothing will happen very quickly. We were advised early on to tell as few people as possible. Once it's decided whether to charge him, there may be people you have to tell, or want to tell. But you don't have to tell anyone now.
Try to look after yourself and pop back on here for support.
Thankyou so much for your support, I know he's going to do all he can to get all the help he needs, we have ordered the book The Porn Trap, wer'e talking as much as we can, I have spoken to my GP (social distancing) and asked for some beta blockers as I have problems with stress related blood pressure! I think all we can do is keep talking, getting help, I won't make any hasty decisions, I can't waste what I thought was a perfect 29 year marriage to my best friend on what was hopefully a moment of madness on his part. But that dosen't mean I'm not terrified. Thanks to all x