Anger
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When did everyone reach the anger stage? I think I'm there. I still haven't decided if I'm staying with my partner or not. He is currently bailed away from the house as we have 2 children. I've spent two weeks at home with the kids and realising i am strong enough to do it on my own, although not sure financially how i will cope. Angry that i have to compromise, most likely lose my job which i loved, that people will think less of me. I've said a lot will depend on the sentencing outcome, but then i feel selfish saying that. My partner was saying we could move near his parents and rebuild there, that he will probably quit his job. Angry that why should i up and leave my life, my friends, the kids friends. Sorry just needed to rant.
Thank you so much for your reply. I keep trying to remind myself, I'm only 2 weeks into this. I don't have to make any decisions yet. Bail is up on the 27th, so keep trying to work towards that now, i know there is a chance this could be extended.
Hi,
I havent really hit the anger stage yet. 2 weeks in but his bail means he can live with us still - he just cant be left on his own with our nearly 2 yr old but it does mean i can continue working from home just have to be watching him on baby monitors - i do trust him 100% around our child though. I just feel betrayed. I was worried we would be losing everything and this may still be the case. If he loses his job, he will lose his pension, we will have to sell our house which weve only just bought and spent thousands doing up. I moved down here for his career so im away from all friends and family but now have a well paid job and a great nursery my son loves. If we lose the house i wont be able to buy or rent on my own with childcare costs so i could lose everything. Equally i cant move back home either as i wouldnt get as well paid a job or be able to afford any housing up there. Thats what hurts the most - it feels like my entire life could be changed because of some silly thing he did.
Im sure the anger will come but for now im having to support him because he is so depressed over everything i dont want him doing anything silly. So ive kinda pushed my feelings to the back of my mind while i get him the support he needs.
Sending hugs at this hard time x
I havent really hit the anger stage yet. 2 weeks in but his bail means he can live with us still - he just cant be left on his own with our nearly 2 yr old but it does mean i can continue working from home just have to be watching him on baby monitors - i do trust him 100% around our child though. I just feel betrayed. I was worried we would be losing everything and this may still be the case. If he loses his job, he will lose his pension, we will have to sell our house which weve only just bought and spent thousands doing up. I moved down here for his career so im away from all friends and family but now have a well paid job and a great nursery my son loves. If we lose the house i wont be able to buy or rent on my own with childcare costs so i could lose everything. Equally i cant move back home either as i wouldnt get as well paid a job or be able to afford any housing up there. Thats what hurts the most - it feels like my entire life could be changed because of some silly thing he did.
Im sure the anger will come but for now im having to support him because he is so depressed over everything i dont want him doing anything silly. So ive kinda pushed my feelings to the back of my mind while i get him the support he needs.
Sending hugs at this hard time x
I just felt I had to comment on the topic of 'anger'. I am close to 15 months post knock and at times I am just consumed with anger. However, as a quiet usually calm person nobody seems to acknowledge this because I don't shout or scream. It is all inside me which can't be healthy. Can't people understand that just because I appear my usual self inside I am boiling with rage because of all that I have lost because of his stupid, selfish and reckless behaviour.
Sorry for the rant. I hope this makes sense to other ladies. Just becuase we soldier on doesn't mean we are not hurting.
Izzy
Sorry for the rant. I hope this makes sense to other ladies. Just becuase we soldier on doesn't mean we are not hurting.
Izzy
Lost123
Thank you so much for your reply. It has made me realise I need to address the issue of anger. I cannot allow it to be part of my life indefinitely.
Having a bad day today. Hb is feeling sorry for himself. Keeps talking about everything and everybody he has lost. Little recognition of what events have done to me and my well-being. We are all losers in this awful situation.
Thanks again. This forum is a life-saver.
Izzy
Thank you so much for your reply. It has made me realise I need to address the issue of anger. I cannot allow it to be part of my life indefinitely.
Having a bad day today. Hb is feeling sorry for himself. Keeps talking about everything and everybody he has lost. Little recognition of what events have done to me and my well-being. We are all losers in this awful situation.
Thanks again. This forum is a life-saver.
Izzy