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So sad

Member since
March 2020

11 posts

Posted Mon May 11, 2020 11:45pmReport post

Its been just over 2 month now since my son was taken for questioning. He was released pending investigation. Our house was searched and PlayStation, computers, mobile phone etc were taken away to be looked at. They said the national data system had flagged my sons email for looking at IIOC. He holds a firearms licence so i also had armed officers in my house to take my sons shotgun away. He was told they will probably be back in touch in around a years time to tell him what/if hes being charged. He is to expect a text message telling him when and which court to attend!!

Anyway one of my many worries including media and gossip. If my son gets a prison sentence does anyone know what happens with his financial commitments?

I cant afford to pay his bills but as he lives with me could i be held responsible. Im talking about car finance, credit cards etc.

Also can anyone tell me how you go about finding and paying solicitors, court fees, fines etc. Is it expected to be paid in full at once ir can it be spread out?

I keep thinking of more and more problems if he is found guilty...

I find a lot of ladies on here are dealing with husbands/partners so i feel different as a mum.

Luxy

Member since
April 2020

55 posts

Posted Tue May 12, 2020 2:08pmReport post

Hi So Sad, I'm a mum too and know how you feel. Has your son admitted to you what he has done? My son was arrested nearly 3 weeks ago now, and I feel in a bit of a bubble at the moment as nobody knows any different. I'm also relying on my sons money to help me at the moment with Lockdown and lay awake at night worrying about the whole situation, mentally, physically and sadly financially. My instinct is to protect him, i was up four hour last night while he cried at said why did I do it mum, why didn't I stop, I've been so stupid. It broke my heart. It sickened me at the same time,.. it's such a nightmare time.

If he loses his job I think the finance company may take the car back, but I'm unsure. Re legal fees, it depends how much your son earns, and any savings he has, but you do pay for legal representation at this level. Once it goes to crown court, which inevitably it will, being iioc, you are then entitled to claim legal aid regardless, as the likely hood, or the potential is there to go to prison.
im here if you ever want to chat . Sending you strength to get through day by day

Helpless

Member since
March 2020

14 posts

Posted Tue May 12, 2020 2:59pmReport post

Hi Ladies

My son go the knock just before christmas for groaming. The lad was on a adult only gay web site. By the time my son found out he didnt know how to stop.

He lived away from me and was frighten to tell me. When he did weeks later it was such a shock I didnt know how to cope. He refused a solictor at the time big mistake poice questioned him search his house took all electronic equiptment. I have managed to find I hope a very good solicitor who deals with these offences but I have had to pay up front as he has no savings. he is now trying to sell his house but with lockdown its not going to be easy. He has a magistrates court date in June. He is devastated with what he has done. He is supended from work and will get the sack. He has lost everything he's worked so hard for. The papers found out and he had to leave and come to live with me as he feared for his life. The police have told my son that nothing else has been found on this equiptment only the conversations on his phone with the one lad.

I do not think you will be responsible for his debts if only in his name. Not sure about legal aid. Ring the help line they have been great with me and do not judge us.

It is the most horrid time and I have so many down days where I never think I am going to be happy again. I am dreading the papers finding out where he is now living as I'm still working and know a lot off people who will judge without knowing the full facts.

I love my son so much and can't undersand why this has happened as he has been on that gay site for years and says is not interested in under age kids. I believe him and just wish like us all on this forum that we could turn the clock back. I too and fearful of prison as he is a soft man and Idont know how he will survive.

Trying to stay strong for him.

Everyone on this forum is wonderful and so supportive I dont know how I would cope without it. Just so glad there are other mums who understand.

Luxy

Member since
April 2020

55 posts

Posted Tue May 12, 2020 3:38pmReport post

Lovely to hear from other mums, it's a comfort at this awful time. My son is still at home with me, and his girlfriend at the moment. He hasn't been charged with anything as yet, Uf he keeps telling me it's bad what he's done. I k ow you all feel the same, but I would have put every single thing I own on the fact he hadn't done this. He is a good, quiet boy, with such a good heart, they were looking at houses and everything seemed perfect, I now look enviously at people around me and wish I was them.

i worry about the backlash of this, I don't know all he has done, but swears he hasn't touched anyone, he has spoken to children, swopped pictures and videos and goodness knows what else, but he says they are Cat A. I'm absolutely in mourning for the life we had and who knows what the future will bring us all.