What happens after?
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Bit of background first. We had "the knock" in February this year for our 20yr old son. When 16, being naive and curious had downloaded images (approx 100 mainly cat C) from around his age group plus thousands of cartoon images. Although a lot had not been viewed they were still in his possesion and this is what counts. Cartoon images are apparently a big grey area so no idea if these are going to be included yet.
As you all say, stunned, upset, sick and hurt that our trust had been betrayed in such a manner.
Following councelling he has been referred for a diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome, a mild form of autism which could explain the amount (obsessive compulsion) but the wait will be over 2 years on the NHS and around 1k private. As this would not affect sentence, prison to be expected, have decided this is not an option.
We live in a "village" type area outside a town and know it will be well reported. Reading how many of you have been harassed or ignored by family, friends and neighbours we have taken the hard decision to 1) son to move into flat as soon as able, 2) we will move out of area before everything kicks off. Drastic but at least we will be able to sleep at night and have him visit when all over where no-one knows background.
Background done, how do you cope with prison visits? How do you feel towards him after? Do your feelings come back? Mine are totally shut down at moment.
Many thanks for reading.
As you all say, stunned, upset, sick and hurt that our trust had been betrayed in such a manner.
Following councelling he has been referred for a diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome, a mild form of autism which could explain the amount (obsessive compulsion) but the wait will be over 2 years on the NHS and around 1k private. As this would not affect sentence, prison to be expected, have decided this is not an option.
We live in a "village" type area outside a town and know it will be well reported. Reading how many of you have been harassed or ignored by family, friends and neighbours we have taken the hard decision to 1) son to move into flat as soon as able, 2) we will move out of area before everything kicks off. Drastic but at least we will be able to sleep at night and have him visit when all over where no-one knows background.
Background done, how do you cope with prison visits? How do you feel towards him after? Do your feelings come back? Mine are totally shut down at moment.
Many thanks for reading.
Hi
im very sorry to hear that your going trough something that is not your fault. Ive just come back on here after having a break while my daughter was battling coronavirus.
my son commited a communication offence. Very long story but was with a 14 to 15 year old where it was all consensual. Her agents knew about it etc. Later down the line he was rested and charged. He was also charged for pictures the girl had sent him of her own free will. None of this made any difference at the court and it did not stop him from being send=t to prison. He is still currently in prison and due home in November.
when it first happened there is no way i thought i would get through it. I nearl did not. It took a long time for me to start to come to terms with what happened. I don't think even now i have come to terms with it properly. Perhaps i never will.
we also moved our son out of the area right away before it went to court. We moved one month after he moved. Luckily when it went to court it was his old address that went in the paper but tat did not top it doing the rounds on social media from people he knew.
We have so far had no problems at all but god know whether that will remain the same when he comes home or not. There are good and bad stories on here about local peopl finding out. From what ive read some just blank you but others are more in your face about it. Some stick it out if that happens and some do not. Ive made the decision to stay put where i am no matter what when he comes home because if not we could be running for the rest of our lives.
visiting our son in prison for the first time was the most devastating soul destroying thing ive ever faced. It was honestly worse than a death in the family. That said, I was also very relieved to see him. We were going two or three times a week to see him until they closed the visits down. I can tell you from experience, its amazing how quick you get used to walking through the prison doors to visit someone. It's never easy but its a relief to see the person each time and know they are doing almost ok.
Since the lockdown I have been heart broken at not being able to visit my son. Now i would give anything to just walk in there and see him but the law does not allow me to. Visiting someone in prison is not good and you never really get used to it but it honestly does get easier as each visit goes on.
in your sons case i cant see how the would go to jail. Ive see the cases that go to jail for images and its not usually for cat c images. It's usually for cat a images and videos and usually for having thousands and thousands. Can't sa for sure though. I think a lot depends on what area your in as well.
I can only advise you to keep coming on here if you need support an to phone the help line if they are still open. As the song says, one at at a time. Not helpful at this point i know but by taking it day by day things will improve x
im very sorry to hear that your going trough something that is not your fault. Ive just come back on here after having a break while my daughter was battling coronavirus.
my son commited a communication offence. Very long story but was with a 14 to 15 year old where it was all consensual. Her agents knew about it etc. Later down the line he was rested and charged. He was also charged for pictures the girl had sent him of her own free will. None of this made any difference at the court and it did not stop him from being send=t to prison. He is still currently in prison and due home in November.
when it first happened there is no way i thought i would get through it. I nearl did not. It took a long time for me to start to come to terms with what happened. I don't think even now i have come to terms with it properly. Perhaps i never will.
we also moved our son out of the area right away before it went to court. We moved one month after he moved. Luckily when it went to court it was his old address that went in the paper but tat did not top it doing the rounds on social media from people he knew.
We have so far had no problems at all but god know whether that will remain the same when he comes home or not. There are good and bad stories on here about local peopl finding out. From what ive read some just blank you but others are more in your face about it. Some stick it out if that happens and some do not. Ive made the decision to stay put where i am no matter what when he comes home because if not we could be running for the rest of our lives.
visiting our son in prison for the first time was the most devastating soul destroying thing ive ever faced. It was honestly worse than a death in the family. That said, I was also very relieved to see him. We were going two or three times a week to see him until they closed the visits down. I can tell you from experience, its amazing how quick you get used to walking through the prison doors to visit someone. It's never easy but its a relief to see the person each time and know they are doing almost ok.
Since the lockdown I have been heart broken at not being able to visit my son. Now i would give anything to just walk in there and see him but the law does not allow me to. Visiting someone in prison is not good and you never really get used to it but it honestly does get easier as each visit goes on.
in your sons case i cant see how the would go to jail. Ive see the cases that go to jail for images and its not usually for cat c images. It's usually for cat a images and videos and usually for having thousands and thousands. Can't sa for sure though. I think a lot depends on what area your in as well.
I can only advise you to keep coming on here if you need support an to phone the help line if they are still open. As the song says, one at at a time. Not helpful at this point i know but by taking it day by day things will improve x
Many thanks for your reply. Will take what you say to heart and live "one day at a time" and not try to guess future which I have no control over.