Family and Friends Forum

Vicky86

Member since
May 2020

21 posts

Posted Fri May 29, 2020 7:28pmReport post

Hi,

So we have a court summons for August and a list of charges, it spans all 3 cats and in the 1000 per cat. Dad will plead guilty but we need to get a solicitor, there are so many local to the court which is near wherebi work but what exactly am I looking for? Do certain ones specialise? I'm just trying to spare myself the shame and embarrassment of asking around and being asked charges. Is anyone down south that could reccomend a solicitor or just general advice does LFF provide this type of info?

Also as a side note if its lots of images in all cats what's the likelihood of a suspended sentence? Is there criteria? Or just down to the particular judge.

Xxxxx

Vicky86

Member since
May 2020

21 posts

Posted Fri May 29, 2020 9:32pmReport post

Hi Lee,

Thanks for taking the time to reply and all the information, i will check it out. I've encouraged dad to get help and he did start the LFF online stuff but gave up because he didnt find it relevant, he is still adamant he never found any of it sexually arousing and although I've only ever met conversations with love understanding and an open kind he will argue/deny and excuse why he did these things for many many years, he admits guilt, knowing it was wrong and struggling with what he was doing but he has totally distanced himself. we have had talks about the consequences of not taking responsibility of getting help and how that can come across as denial but i think he is so ashamed he wont explore thoses dark reasons that led him down the path.

Do you know what type of things I could write in a impact statement? Like the fact he is deeply ashamed and was in a bad place in his life feeling unable to seek help that he has lost what little he did have in his life like my children (grandchildren) and that's a huge consequence of his actions. I still support him and he has a support network?

majestictopaz15

Member since
December 2019

371 posts

Posted Sat May 30, 2020 2:02pmReport post

Myself and a few of my partner's friends wrote a statement. We were given a template from the solicitor but I believe the format can be online since these letters are not offence specific.



From memory it is recommended to start with how you know the offender and a brief description about yourself. Then explain how and what you know of the offences and provide a character reference (but do not use the statement as means to explain what you think they deserve as a sentence, that will not help and is the judges decision). You can mention the history and the impact the knock had and what it has been like since. I added what we had planned to do after sentencing such as see if my partner can do a master's and that he wanted to get a new job and reconnect with his children. Honesty is key.



It is shame your dad hasn't found material to help with rehabilitation. My partner needed the professional help to see the consequences of his actions. He was in a strange denial, he had been viewing for years and strongly convinced himself it was just a fantasy. It is unfortunate that covid has prevented many getting on face to face courses since they were effective for my partner.

My partner had legal aid but the advice to not be reluctant to chnage if needed is goodcgood advice,I wish we did. But the legal team were useful with getting my partner support and he had LF. Also ask for records of LF phone calls too if he uses the line. They can provide the date and time and I don't think details of the convo. Basically need as much evidence that he has tried to get support.

Sending hugs

Ann P

Member since
February 2020

169 posts

Posted Sat May 30, 2020 9:52pmReport post

Hi Vicky86

I'm pleased that you feel able to support your dad, he is very lucky to have you. Honestly it's really important that he engages with some sort of help, otherwise it can look as if he isn't remorseful or interested in changing his behaviour. The Inform Plus course that Lucy Faithfull run is very well regarded by the police and the courts and he'd be very silly not to try to do this. It could possibly help with a suspended sentence although there are never guarantees of that. His mental health is important but it's not seen as a defence because many people have mental health struggles but don't offend. He needs to prove that he wants to change, so the only real proof of that is actively engaging with professional help.

Try to persuade him, good luck with that, and we'll done for continuing to support him.