Are the Dad's ever allowed back home?
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It's been 16 days now since the knock and I still can't stop crying. My husband and love of my life admitted to looking at iioc as soon as they came to the door. He also said to the police that he has sexual feelings toward children although he would never even think about making any sort of contact with a child. He's sickened himself just by looking. He looked a hand full of times at both videos and photos at cat A on the dark web over the course of a year. He has enrolled himself on the stop it now therapy sessions and has completed the online modules. He is awaiting his first therapy session. He says he wishes he didn't have these feelings and that there was a cure but there isn't. He is very remorseful for his actions and realises what he did was very wrong and has said he would never do it again after seeing the fallout and impact that this has had on both me and our small child. Has anyone else got a story similar to mine? SS are obviously involved and are currently completing section 47 assessments. His bail conditions say he is allowed supervised access with our child but SS have said there is no contact. He can draw pictures but with no words at all and they all have to go through the SW. Me and my little boy miss him so much it hurts. His bail conditions were recently changed to allow him to speak to me now however we still aren't speaking or seeing each other out of fear of what the SW will think or say. She said the biggest red flag now would be if me and my husband rekindled our relationship. I don't see why this is a problem so long as my child is safe and I follow all the safeguarding procedures then why can't me and my husband speak to each other without consequences? Is there anyone in a similar situation where they have been able to still support their husband whilst safeguarding their child? Is there ever any possibility that we will be able to be a family unit again? Or am I just clinging onto false hope? Obviously my priority is my child and their safety and I would never jeapordise that but I still want to support my husband through this too.
Thank you Lost123 for your reply. I will look at getting in touch with the family rights group tomorrow. Thank you for that advice. I thought it wasn't fair that they are telling me that I can no longer be involved with my husband because I keep thinking that so long as I follow their rules regarding my child and safeguard him then I don't see what it has to do with them with regards to the two of us. We're both adults and I feel like if I feel like I need to speak to him then I should be able to without becoming fearful and scared of what others including the SW will think. I just want to support him too especially as he has been feeling suicidal. I'm not even saying I want to be there for him romantically I just want to help him.
I am pleased that he is now being completely honest with himself and everybody else but at the same time I wish he had never said about his sexual interest in children. He says he is sexually attracted to them but that he would never actually make contact with one and I believe him. He's always felt wrong and I'm hoping that the therapy helps him realise that even though his thoughts and feelings are wrong that he can do things to reduce those feelings and learn techniques to make sure that he never acts on them again. I just feel like I have lost EVERYTHING. We had begun looking at houses so we could move to something better with a garden for our child and thats gone, all our hopes and plans for the future have gone and I even had to cancel our dream holiday. It hurts but I would give all of them up if it meant that we could be a family again. That's what hurts the most. The thought of us never being in the same house together again. You dont appreciate the little things until they're gone.
Currently SS are completing their section 47 and are assessing my capabilities to safeguard my child. They have also spoken to my MIL and FIL to assess their capabilities too as they are looking into possibly allowing supervised visits with his Mum or Dad doing the supervising. Its my little ones birthday soon and I was hoping we would be able to still spend some part of the day altogether even just to sing happy birthday with the cake but this seems like its getting further and further away. When I ask about his birthday the SW just says we will see whats happening closer to the time. She seemed to be under the impression that he was going to be going to prison the beginning of next month even though hes not even appeared to be charged yet? And so she was saying that she didn't want to start the visits if they were going to then stop straight away. I just feel like the sooner they start the better it will be as my little one is really missing his Dad and doesn't understand why he cant see him or even speak to him on the phone. Apart from that I have no idea what the future holds and that is scary. Everything feels like it has stopped and I wish I had a glass ball to see what is going to happen.
I am pleased that he is now being completely honest with himself and everybody else but at the same time I wish he had never said about his sexual interest in children. He says he is sexually attracted to them but that he would never actually make contact with one and I believe him. He's always felt wrong and I'm hoping that the therapy helps him realise that even though his thoughts and feelings are wrong that he can do things to reduce those feelings and learn techniques to make sure that he never acts on them again. I just feel like I have lost EVERYTHING. We had begun looking at houses so we could move to something better with a garden for our child and thats gone, all our hopes and plans for the future have gone and I even had to cancel our dream holiday. It hurts but I would give all of them up if it meant that we could be a family again. That's what hurts the most. The thought of us never being in the same house together again. You dont appreciate the little things until they're gone.
Currently SS are completing their section 47 and are assessing my capabilities to safeguard my child. They have also spoken to my MIL and FIL to assess their capabilities too as they are looking into possibly allowing supervised visits with his Mum or Dad doing the supervising. Its my little ones birthday soon and I was hoping we would be able to still spend some part of the day altogether even just to sing happy birthday with the cake but this seems like its getting further and further away. When I ask about his birthday the SW just says we will see whats happening closer to the time. She seemed to be under the impression that he was going to be going to prison the beginning of next month even though hes not even appeared to be charged yet? And so she was saying that she didn't want to start the visits if they were going to then stop straight away. I just feel like the sooner they start the better it will be as my little one is really missing his Dad and doesn't understand why he cant see him or even speak to him on the phone. Apart from that I have no idea what the future holds and that is scary. Everything feels like it has stopped and I wish I had a glass ball to see what is going to happen.